We made it through another half season of the NFL. I’m surprised too. I thought because of all the talk about how the ratings dropped so drastically low last year due to all that pesky kneeling that the NFL would of just packed it in and moved on. I guess they thought better of it and looked at the actual numbers that showed that nothing really changed at all and gave the 2018 season a go. Well, I’m glad they did because it has allowed me to put together the mid-season awards. It’s time to hand out some hardware.
The Montreal Screw Job Award
For the player who got paid to do a job and then took it upon themselves to spit in their employer’s face- Sam Bradford
It takes a certain type of person to agree to do a job for a company and then flat out be terrible at it only to get replaced by a guy who’s never done it before. It’s a completely different thing all together when you’re getting paid $20m to do it. But, no one ever accused Sam Bradford of being dumb, just being a average at best at quarterbacking. Sure, we all knew eventually Josh Rosen was going to take over but I don’t think anyone thought that would happen two and a half games into the season. Let that be a lesson to franchises, when you’re looking for that bridge QB to get you to your rookie prospect, don’t pay 20 million dollars for that guy. All you get is spit in your face and a costly clipboard holder.
The Maybe They’re Just OK As A Player Award
For the guy who had a ton of hype based on only a few games only to underachieve- Deshaun Watson
Yeah, the Texans have won their last four games after starting 0-3. And yes, Watson is coming off a big time knee injury, but a 10/7 INT ratio is not what most folks thought this guy would be doing. Based off last year, some had him as a sneaky MVP candidate. He still has half a year left to bolster his play, but if we’re looking at his season so far, all I could say about him is that he’s been OK.
The I’m Getting To Old For This Shit Award
For the guy who’s getting to old for this shit- Jamaal Charles
Quite the conundrum for me here because Jamaal Charles is only 31 years old which puts him at a year younger than me. But, when you sit out a year and no one cares that you sat out a year enough to bring you in for a workout, you might be to old for this shit. When you out of nowhere come back to join a team that loses their stud RB and you put up 7 yards on 6 attempts you might be to old for this shit. Sucks because Charles once owned the league and guys like Frank Gore who is 4 years older is still producing. But, Charles is getting paid for this year, so I doubt he’s that shook up about this. Still, he’s still to old for this shit.
UPDATE- I just saw that Jamaal Charles was released two days ago. Shame on the world, definitely not me, for not making this a bigger story. One of the greats is done again. Jacksonville now understand that Charles was in fact to old for this shit.
The For The Love Of The Game Award
For loving the game so much you try and play as much of it as you can- Cleveland Browns
Pretty easy one to call here as I’m sure y’all had the Browns pegged for this. When you play 4 overtime games in 7 games, it tells me that you love playing football much more than any another team out there.
The Staying On Brand Award
For the guy who is doing exactly what’s expected of him- Vontaze Burfict
Consistency is important in all walks of life. That’s why it was a pleasure to handout this piece of hardware to Burfict. His tireless pursuit to be the most hated, dirtiest player in sports knows no bounds and he’s damn good at keeping that rep up. Getting suspended for the first four games of the season was just a 1st graders art project. Getting fined $112,000 for multiple hits that occurred in only one game was his Mona Lisa. The fact that it was against the Steelers made it the easiest call I’ll make for these awards. I bet old Vontaze sets aside about $300,000 every year just for games against the Steelers.
The Dumpster Fire Award
For the team or player that is representing what a dumpster that has been lit on fire looks like- Oakland Raiders
The phrase dumpster fire gets thrown around a bit to much for my liking but I felt that it was appropriate in describing the state of the Oakland Raiders. It’s one of those the phrases that didn’t choose Oakland, Oakland chose the phrase type situations. This garbage franchise, that makes the Miami Dolphins franchise look like a polished, button uped, well run franchise, has been ablaze since January since Jon Gruden signed a very reasonable 10 year $100m contract. Then, there was the contract dispute between the Raiders and all world edge rusher Khalil Mack, where they eventually traded him for two 1st round picks, which naturally led to Gruden saying in an interview that good pass rushers are hard to find. Next, they somehow trade Amari Cooper for a 1st(actually a good move) then Derek Carr proves how macho he is by crying on the field where teammates somehow question his toughness and leadership skills thus “fracturing” the locker room. Now, the locker room is unhappy on how Gruden is selling everyone on the team for draft picks. Maybe all this wheeling and dealing will propel the Raiders for years to come but for now, they can be seen burning light years into the distance.
The Matt Flynn Award
For the player who encompasses everything that Matt Flynn stood for by seeing all the cracks in the system- Derek Anderson
This was a tough one. I struggled a bit on this award because this award is my favorite piece of hardware to hand out due to Matt Flynn being my favorite player of all time. Nobody worked the system more than Flynn and for that he deserves to be praised and have statues made all around the country so that kids can look up to it and say, now there’s a guy that saw all the angles. I almost gave the award to Brock Osweiler, but he’s come in and actually played well enough to the point where he’s going to start more games. Anderson on the other hand, wasn’t on a team a few weeks ago. He got the call to backup Nathan Peterman and started this week. Not to get upstaged by Peterman, DA put up a solid 185 yards and 3 INT performance this past week that will have the Bills thinking about going back to Peterman. Anderson did all this while earning a nice $1m for his troubles. The smart stay smart. What a hustle.
The Glass House Award
For the guy who can dish it but can’t take it- Jalen Ramsey
Jalen Ramsey’s favorite past time besides being a very good NFL corner back is trash talking about every player in the league. His least favorite past time is getting trash talked back after his defense gets lit up by the high octane offense that is the Cowboys. When asked about what happened against Dallas, the usually talkative Ramsey didn’t have much to say. I don’t know, perhaps if you talk trash about everyone else, maybe take responsibility when the tables get turned on you? Weird thought I know.
The Snapture Award
For the team that with just a snap of their fingers is having half their team disappear into the wind- New York Giants
Could have gone with Raiders for this award, but no one has had the sudden rush to wipe out their roster at a faster rate than the Giants. Yesterday, they traded Eli Apple and this morning they sent Snacks Harrison packing. I also don’t think they’re done balancing out their roster. I guess Dave Gettleman saw the future and knows that it’s the only way for the Giants to succeed.
The Not On The Rug…. Man Award
For the guy who was a jerk just to be a jerk- Adam Gase
I admit, I’m probably the only one who writes here that knows about this little exchange Adam Gase had with the media a few weeks back when Tannehill was a late scratch due to a shoulder injury due to being a tortured Dolphins’ fan.
Siting HIPPA as the reason you can’t discuss Tannehill’s injury is an interesting one especially because days later Gase had no problem discussing the health of Devante Parker. Also, it’s a jerk move to go after the media because they ask you about your starting QB after he gets scratched 90 minutes before game time. I don’t understand how he didn’t realize that was going to happen. Hope he enjoys the hardware.
The King Kong Ain’t Got Shit On Me Award
For the guy who is untouchable, can’t be stopped and everyone knows it- Patrick Mahomes
When you put up stats that half the league’s QBs could only dream of having as their stats for the entire season, you win this award going away. Mahomes has 22TDs with only 5INTs. His team is also a can’t miss group that have entered “must watch” territory. The way they destroyed the Bengals on Monday night, how effortlessly Mahomes threw all over them seems unfair. The Bengals will probably be a playoff team and they got made out to look like a bottom five team and it’s mostly due to Mahomes looking like a guy who’s a 10 year vet instead of a second year player. I’m sure Mahomes will have some struggles this year, but I see no reason why they won’t be seeing New England in the AFC title game. I hate that I think that but I have no reason to think otherwise unless the Chiefs end up being like other Chiefs’ teams. Alex Smith isn’t here. Remember that.
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