For as long as man has been around, there has been debates that have raged on that seem like they will last forever. Whether or not America should engage in war, dark beer or light beer, drum sticks or flat pieces, Rob Johnson or Doug Flutie, the list of hotly contested debates where you’re either one or the other with no middle ground is endless. Well, with the first snow of the season currently overwhelming the greater Scranton area, it seemed like a great time to embrace debate. That debate is would you rather shovel snow a little at a time throughout the storm or wait till the end and do it all at once?

The Case For Shoveling A Little At A Time

It seems like the smartest and most responsible way to go. It’s also the way your mother told you go about snow removal. I can hear my mother now telling me how I won’t like to have to do it all at the end of the day and that just doing a little amount at a time will be easier. Classic mom talk. The idea behind this line of thinking is that if you do a little at a time, that your shoveling will be a lot easier due to lesser amounts of snow. Makes sense and here’s why nobody likes to work hard and lifting heavy objects is the exact opposite of a fun time on a day where you had school or work called off. Days off are about video games, sleigh riding, The Price Is Right, comfy clothes, comfort foods and possibly delving into your craft beer stash. Going out after you had a great day off from responsibility to lift 10+ inches of snow every time you put the shovel to the driveway is a terrible way to cap off your fun day. The snow gets heavier and heavier every time and half way through you start telling yourself how you should of been doing this throughout the day because your current position is just awful.

The Case Against Shoveling A Little At A Time

The only reason that you will ever need to explain why it’s dumb to shovel multiple times a day is that why would you want to keep interrupting your fun and shovel when you can just do it all at once when the storm is over? Makes sense right? Instantly, this same quandary brings up college and how someone handles their assignments. Are you the kind of person that got your assignments done ahead of time and took advantage of the assignments being listed on the syllabus or were you like the majority of humanity and waited to the last second to get that 12 page paper done the night before? Personally, the majority of the time, I lived with my back against the wall. I did my best work as time was running out. Did I realize I had the clutch gene or did I plan poorly? That’s another debate entirely. It can’t be said enough that putting off shoveling until the end maximizes your fun output. As a kid, you didn’t want to be the one who had to leave your friends building a fort to go home and shovel. Leaving your friends to go help with chores and responsibility is a major strike in the kid world and can get the snowball(nice) in motion in the heads of the rest of the friend group to having doubts about that person. Talk about if he’s even cool starts getting thrown out there, then you they find out you can’t catch a football and next thing you know your eating lunch with the girls. You simply can’t have that. So you promise your mom that you will get it done after dinner and there’s nothing to worry about. A full day of fun to do whatever you want is yours.

The Case For Shoveling It All At Once

Nothing like getting the call the night before school that school has already been cancelled. I’m currently living that life right now. School got out early today and I actually think tomorrow will be cancelled as well. The point is, I’m already trying to map out everything I want to do. Every activity, every food item and every drink item has been rolled around in my brain. I haven’t even thought about shoveling snow because I just keep telling myself that we’ll just do it later. I do this because I want the entire day to myself. No interruptions, no putting my boots on over and over again. Who wants to keeps putting their snow clothes on multiple times a day? The answer is nobody. Also, the idea of going out and only shoveling a few inches of snow at a time seems like a complete waste of time. I’m a man, I’m 8 years away from 40. I can lift everything and anything as long as it’s not that heavy. And as a kid I had a motor like none other and could shovel for hours if I wanted too. I wasn’t going to let precipitation get the better of me. I wasn’t going to be the kid that had to leave the fun early to go home and flex my responsibility muscles. Not going to let my cool kid rep take any hits. Not that I doubted my football catching skills but you never know when you can get a case of the drops when it comes to catching a Vortex.  Of course, I’ll get all the snow when the snow stops Mom, I promise. Ground me for a week if I don’t. I knew at an early age the true Art of the Deal. Shoveling a million times compared to just once, seems like simple math wins here. One time saves time. What other argument do I need?

The Case Against Shoveling All At Once

Like I said earlier, guaranteed when you wait until the evening to get all the snow and the garage door opens up and you see you have around a foot of snow in the driveway, the people that run your brain all collectively go

You know that for the next hour that you have to put your body to limits you know aren’t possible. Then, you start thinking about all the moments you had throughout the day where you could of spent 10 minutes running through the driveway picking up that light snow with no effort. You tell yourself that next time will be the time you give the multiple shoveling way a real try. Now think back to college again, tell me there was no better feeling then getting your assignments done weeks ahead of time. I had a class that I did just that. All the assignments for the semester were listed and I got them all done with a month of the semester left to go. I never felt more alive. I had so much more time for me and my stress level went way down. Also, I’m 32 and not that I can’t go out there and rip it with the young cats out there, but I can’t… check that, I can go out there and run with the young go-hards out there and talk that I can’t is a complete and utter lie and I won’t sit here and have you think that my body can’t get it done. My back is twice as strong as it was when I was younger and that’s that.

Live Dammit

Wherever you fall on this debate just remember, to live. Remember that the snow doesn’t own you that you own it. Don’t get owned by snow and also don’t show me that you can’t catch a football. I don’t want to have to start mentioning your name to the rest of the friend group and eventually have to banish you to eat lunch with the girls. Just catch it.

Also, to sum up this argument, let Roy McAvoy illustrate the only acceptable way to shovel snow. I think you can figure out what way matches up with each one in this debate.

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