Let me tell you something, this Ryan Tannehill guy has everything all figured out. He knows the perfect time to come out of the cryogenic closet is after the most statistically improbable victory in NFL history. Tannehill knew that everyone in south beach and most of the country are still trying to figure out why Belichick had a statue of Rob Gronkowski back deep instead of Devin McCourty. Perfect time for him to announce this…
“Things are going to be hurting a little bit when I’m older; it’s just the nature of the business, so to have something available, to help heal from that, is huge. Whether it’s from an injury in practice, or I tweak something during the offseason, or in 20 years after my career is done…I have these cells banked in Grand Cayman, and I’m able to use those in order to improve my quality of life and be able to enjoy the rest of my life.”
Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance
It’s as simple as that. When your legs have a very good chance of falling a part not just on a football field but just walking down the street, the only sensible move is to stash away a pile of cells that can quite literally heal everything. Tannehill may spike the ball into the back of his linemen’s head on occasion, but momma didn’t raise no fool. He knows he won’t be playing football for his entire life, though taking stem cells leads me to believe that maybe a person can, so having material stored on the Grand Cayman Islands just seems like the logical next step for an athlete the caliber of Ryan Tannehill.
One Odd Thing
Something odd that I’m finding about Ryan coming out and announcing this is that some people are fascinated about this. I feel like this is the first time ever a person has been open about their use or future use of stem cells. I know Ryan isn’t the first person ever to use them, but it’s possible he’s the first athlete to attach his name to it. Tannehill will not be the last to do this. You’ll see, this will be a thing to do to “ensure a better quality of life after sports.” I’m all for it. If there was a material out there that would make me heal like Wolverine, you’re damn right I’d be all over that.
You Can Bet
You can bet everything you have that Tom Brady must have an enormous stock pile of stem cells hidden on every island on the planet. Think of Scrooge McDuck’s pool of gold coins and replace that with a pool of stem cells. That’s what Tom Brady has. If Ryan Tannehill is doing this, Brady must of been all over this years ago. He’s destined to play until he’s 90 so keeping himself young like Sebastian Shaw through stem cells is totally in his wheel house. Honestly, I’m sure plenty of athletes, celebrities and pretty much anyone who isn’t a regular person like myself and y’all have pallets of stem cells spread out throughout Earth. Tom Cruise seems like a guy who would try and be immortal. My money is on him having the most stem cells.
Oh and I’m legally not allowed to write about the Dolphins or anyone associated with the Dolphins without sharing this. Never forget
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