I hate Boston. I do. I’ll say it a hundred times over. The arrogance, the dirty hits, the complaining. It’s easy, really. They make it easier than anyone else. From Jeremy Jacobs to Charlie Coyle, from Bobby Orr to every single scrub wearing that god awful spoked-B. Whether you’re watching on TV or they’ve invaded your home arena, you can feel it in your chest. The accent, the yelling, the constant reminder that even if they lose, “duhhh the Pats are going all the way anyways and that’s what matters” starts to flood social media. I hate Boston because they’re, well, they’re incredible. Everything else is noise
Say it with me – “I hate Boston”
Now ask yourself why. Really. Why do you hate them? Can’t be because they’re physical. It’s not because they take liberties with certain players. Because guess what? That’s what your team does. Your team is going for the groin behind the play, or up high against the boards. From Kronwall to Kadri, Radulov to Reaves. Everyone’s doing it. So why are they the only team in the wrong? Because they don’t go away. Most of the time, when there’s a team that’s getting the type of rap that the Bruins get, they eventually fade away.
Think about the Flyers. They have some skill, sure, but at the end of the season you really just remember the bullshit. Outside of your teams biggest rival, can you really think of a team you hate more than the Bruins? I can’t. The Bruins will beat you like a rented mule not because they have to, it’s because they can. In one play Brad Marchand can tickle someone’s taint, then go top cheese to win the game. He’s a pest. Most of them are, on the ice and in the stands. But one thing we can all agree on, it works.
Of Course They’re Clutch
I mean, why wouldn’t they be? Most people wouldn’t know Sean Kuraly from their local barista, but there he is, scoring game-winning goals in the Stanley Cup Finals. Charlie Coyle found a way to come up huge in game 2 against Columbus, and the list goes on. Your team had a great shot to beat Boston one day, maybe it was 3-2, or 1-1 and y’all went on the power play. Whether it was Boston’s relentless top-line or a guy they called up to replace a fourth liner, the comeback happened and you walked away with only one thing on your mind; “I hate Boston.”
They’re Everywhere
This has always been a problem for hockey fans, and it’s not just Boston. As a Chicago fan, I hear it all the time. Outdoor games with the Blackhawks drive people insane because they don’t understand how TV and the NHL work. It’s not worth the risk most of the time to put your little small market on the big stage every week. Whether you’re a Bruins fanboy or hater, you’re watching them no matter the opponent. It’s similar to Floyd Mayweather. He sells PPV’s not because everyone loves him, but because by now a vast majority of people prefer to watch him lose, which obviously never happened.
We hate them and want to see the success come to an end. Look at the hockey landscape even now, people have rallied around Blues. The Blues?! We’ve decided to stan one of the most inconsequential teams of all-time because they’re the lesser of two evils. Because we woke up after the ECF with one thought, I hate Boston.
This Isn’t the End
Let the hate flow through you. When Bergeron and Chara finally retire *crosses fingers for this summer* the Bruins aren’t going anywhere. Marchand has time left, Pasta and Debrusk are just getting started, and it seems like there’s always a good option to fill in an open spot on any given night. They’re probably going to win the cup, have a parade, and force us to listen to a summer of bad accents and hot takes. But, that doesn’t make them unique. It happens with everyone. They just do it more often.
So when you’re watching game 2, even the rest of the series, ask yourself why you hate them. Why do I hate Boston? When you realize you can’t come up with a reason that is specific to just the Bruins, admit that you’re just tired of them. Maybe even, no, definitely, because you’re jealous. That’s fine, we all are. I am by no means a Boston apologist and the furthest thing from a fan. But when the day of reckoning comes, we’ll all have to say it loud; I hate Boston and I don’t know why.
Big shout out to Jackson Temple (@JacksonTemple_) here at Belly Up for being a Boston guy that brings facts to the table and helped me formulate this idea in my head. Check out his stuff under the NHL tab here. Also, make sure you’re subscribed to @puckpuckpasspod to get all the latest hockey news and opinion from ZachMac and me. Go Blues.
