Welcome to Slone’s Thoughts. Did you ever watch “The Office”? Ever heard of Creed’s Thoughts? Well, this is that. But with sports.

Zion Says He Would’ve Probably Stayed Another Year at Duke if He Could

May 14th 2019 in Sports
COLUMBIA, SOUTH CAROLINA – MARCH 22: Zion Williamson #1 of the Duke Blue Devils reacts after scoring a basket and drawing a foul against the North Dakota State Bison in the second half during the first round of the 2019 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament at Colonial Life Arena on March 22, 2019 in Columbia, South Carolina. (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images) ORG XMIT: 775283837 ORIG FILE ID: 1137650739

Well, he technically said “I probably would stay for another year. But I can’t.”

Why can’t you Zion? Did Coach K kick you off the team and take your scholarship away to make room for whatever recruiting class that’s coming in? Did you promise the Nike reps that paid you and your family to go to Duke that you’d only stay for a season? Something about this story is fishy, and Detective Slone is determined to get to the bottom of it. Don’t worry Zion, I will help you avoid the Knicks* for another year.

Realistically, Zion probably just doesn’t want to leave college because it’s fun. It’s so much fun that I don’t plan on graduating until the late 2020’s, despite enrolling in the Fall of 2016. Not having real responsibilities, a free place to sleep away from your parents, free food (from the cafeteria. May be nasty, but it’s free), and the freedom to get blacked out drunk at the most inappropriate times is awesome. I’m sure mine and Zion’s experiences are a little different since he went to a nerd ass school like Duke, but since me and him are also extremely similar in every other facet of life, I could see why he’s dreading leaving school. It’s ok though, Zion. At least you have a sick job lined up.

*Draft lottery is tonight. Don’t forget.

Billy Donovan to Michigan

I don’t know if this is true or not because I didn’t do any deeper research. But basically, Michigan has hired Billy Donovan away from the Oklahoma City Thunder to replace John Beilein who previously left for the Cleveland Cavaliers. The deal is for an amount of time and he is expected to make somewhere in between Coach K and Coach Cal money. Please credit Aaron Slone from Belly Up Sports when you report this info, thanks.

Elton Brand is Letting Brett Brown Keep His Job

For now.

The Ring Girl Threw Out a First Pitch

61 MPH and..

Happy Birthday, Gronk

May 14th 2019 in Sports

The recent retired American footballer turns 30 today. Kind of young for retirement, isn’t it buddy? Enjoy your day and see ya in Week 8 when you return to help Brady go on another Super Bowl run.

Brewers Call Keston Hiura to the Big Leagues

I assumed this guy was an international signing, but he was actually the organization’s first round pick. Hiura is rated as the 15th prospect in all of baseball. In 37 games in AAA this season, Hiura is hitting .333 with 11 ding dongs. He’s currently with Milwaukee while Travis Shaw deals with an injury, and if he has a solid start to his career then he’s most likely up for good. I sure hope the Reds put one in his earhole next week just to show the youngster that we get like to get nasty in the NL Central.

Broncos QB Joe Flacco Doesn’t Want to Groom Drew Lock

Flacco, who’s 41-41 in his last 82 starts with the worst yards per attempt in the league, says that he’s too focused on winning to help mentor Drew Lock, the Broncos’ 2nd round pick and hopeful future face of the franchise.

I like Flacco’s strategy here. If he mentors Drew, Drew might learn too fast and will be the starter by week 4. If he ignores the kid, then Drew might not get to start until week 7. Way to use your head, Joe.

Random Thought

May 14th 2019 in Sports

Clifford’s house was huge. Why didn’t they just build it a little bigger so the family could live there too? I think it’d save money instead of having a normal house and that humongous dog house.

Gambling Picks

I like Portland +7.5 in Game One. No chance to win, but a good chance to cover. I’m not betting on the game though because it’s a headache to pick. But gun to my head, Portland.

Reds +103 vs Cubs
We won’t win. But still going to bet.

Mets -137 @ Nationals
Thor is pitching

Pirates +141 @ Diamondbacks
Decent value pick.

Go ahead and take Tampa, St. Louis, Dodgers, Cleveland, Yankees, and Houston tonight too.

Take the Bruins tonight over Carolina. -104.
They’re going to sweep these fools.

Love you guys, and thanks again for looking at my thoughts.

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