Welcome to Slone’s Thoughts. Did you ever watch “The Office”? Ever heard of Creed’s Thoughts? Well, this is that. But with sports.

*ATTENTION* This will be the last Slone’s Thoughts until Monday, May 20th. I’m bailing early tomorrow to head up to Cincy for the Dodgers series. Sorry to disappoint you all, but you’ll eventually get used to me letting you all down.

Bat Flips.

I’ve never understood why people cry and throw a fit like a toddler over a batflip? I can only imagine how they’d feel about a basketball player thumping his chest after posterizing a defender, or the group touchdown celebrations after a touchdown is scored. How dare professional athletes have fun!

The most annoying part about people getting upset about batflips is when the other team or pitcher whines about it. Don’t want them to batflip and show you up? Get them out. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about it.

There’s nothing wrong with hitters showing emotions. There’s nothing wrong with pitchers showing emotion. But if you dish it out, then you better be able to handle it when it comes back around to you. Which is something that Javier Baez never learned how to handle.

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Sorry I’m talking about the Reds and the Cubs a lot. This is our first series against them this season and my flame for hatred of them has been lit once again.

Zion’s Step Dad Says Returning to Duke was “Never Even Considered”

And why should it have been considered? What would is left for Zion to achieve? Go back and risk injury again and losing millions just to win a crummy National Championship that honest to God, does not matter when you get to the next level.

Zion may not be happy with going to New Orleans. But then again, who really even knows? He’s going to be making millions and he is the future face of that organization. He will be just fine in the long run with being in New Orleans.

Lunardi’s 2020 Bracketology

It’s May and Joe Lunardi has released his first bracket despite being five months away from the start of the season.

Michigan State, Duke, UNC, and Kentucky are his one seeds. Just like every other season.

Find something else to do in May and quit being a psychopath, Joe.

More Bad Marlins’ Stats

One home run in all of May. It’s May 16th and they’ve hit ONE home run. Keep betting against them and you’ll retire a millionaire.

Let’s take a look at Owner/General Manager(?) Derek Jeter

May 16th 2019 in Sports

May 16th 2019 in Sports

I’m Scared of Tacko Fall

The guy is massive and could literally kill me by squashing me like a bug. I’m not sure when Tacko is projected to be drafted, but he’s an intriguing prospect. Maybe New Orleans should take him first overall and put this Zion talk to sleep.


But seriously, just look at Goliath Jr.

May 16th 2019 in Sports

RIP Andy Kaufman

Kaufman died 35 years ago from lung cancer. RIP to one of the GOATs.

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Go Decide My Fate


After last night’s walk off win, I feel a hot streak coming on that will last throughout the entire summer. If the Reds do in fact go on a streak and they make it to the playoffs, I want to celebrate being right. Go choose what I will do.

Gambling Picks

I’m already 1-0 on the day after taking the Brewers ML at the Phillies.

The rest of the baseball games I like are the Reds tonight with Luis Castillo on the mound, Trevor Bauer and the Indians against the Orioles (moneyline and run line), the Blue Jays at the White Sox, and the Twins at the Mariners.

I like the Warriors -7.5 tonight, and I also got them at +600 to win by 10-12.

Bruins -1.5 (+230) tonight for the sweep at Carolina.

I also bet on Finau to have a better round than Poulter. As I am typing this, Poulter is +1 through 12 and Finau is -1. Good chance to go 2-0 before the night even gets started.

I hope you all enjoyed the first week of Slone’s Thoughts here at BellyUp. If you did, please continue to check in. And don’t just read the nonsense I write about. Check out other article’s on the site too. There’s some very talented and knowledgeable writers here that work hard and deserve to be noticed. Plus, you never know when some of the info you learn from their articles may help you win a drunken conversation at the bar on a Tuesday night in the middle of shithole town (or something along those lines)

Love you guys.


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