I’m a life long Buffalo Bills fan, which makes me a life long-suffering Bills fan. That suffering got worse when I inexplicably acquiesced to my wife’s desire to move to New England. If there is a hell just for Bills fans, it’s my neighborhood located just 10 miles from Gillette Stadium. In addition to being a suffering Bills fan though, I’m also a worried Bills fan. And I’m pretty sure all Bills fans should worry too.
You might say that my below explained worries about my beloved Bills are irrational, inconsistent, irreconcilable or some other word that starts with “I’ that I couldn’t think of. Well, that would be kind of mean, but it would also be something else – indisputable. I will concede that the only thing that makes sense about my worries as a Buffalo Bills Fan is that I’m a Buffalo Bills fan. Bills fans are amongst the least mentally stable fans in the NFL. You may call it bipolar, manic depressive, or schizophrenia. But the technical term is: Billswinorloseaphobia.
Bills Fans Should Worry That The Bills Will Miss The Playoffs
It feels like almost every year, with 4 or 5 games to go, the Bills find a way to raise and then crush my playoff hopes. And this year there appears to be strong evidence that a miracle will not be provided by the Cincinnati Bengals. And while the Bills often find a way to miss the playoffs, this season such a discovery may be pretty easy – it’s called the schedule. Have you seen the rest of the Bills’ schedule? It’s even tougher than my wife’s turkey.
Yes, I realize their finale is against the Jets who they beat this year. I also realize that they won that game by a mere one point. And I have less than fond recollections of the Bills blowing the playoffs by losing on the last day to a team with no chance of advancing. I even recall the Bills losing games after they had already won them! But is it really possible at this point for the Bills to not make the playoffs? Of course, it’s possible. It’s the Bills. So yes, Bills fans should worry.
Bills Fans Should Worry That The Bills Will Make The Playoffs
During my younger days, the Bills quite depressingly lost almost every game. But it turns out that it was much more enjoyable than what followed. That’s when the Bills won almost every game, except, of course, the one that really mattered – the Super Bowl.
If you’ve suffered through a Super Bowl loss you might think you know what I mean, but you don’t. If you’ve suffered through 4 Super Bowl losses – in a row – you definitely know what I mean, because you are a Bills fan.
Let’s say Bills make the playoffs, then a chance exists that they make it to the Super Bowl. It has been 25 years since the Bills last lost a Super Bowl. So I ask you, Bills fans, do we really want to break that streak?
I understand it’s been a long time, and maybe I should be over it by now. But I swear I want to scream every time I’m driving in Massachusetts and I see a sign for the Town of “Norwood” that says 5 miles “right”. And should you be a Bills fan who gets that reference, then you aren’t just a Bills fan, you are an aging Bills fan. Which in turn means your aorta has likely been replaced by a kielbasa. Another Super Bowl loss could prove dire. Our beloved Bills might actually kill you. So yes, Bills fans should worry.
A rational person might conclude that these two worries cancel each other out. And they do, rationally. But it’s irrationality that is rational here – the paradox of Buffalo Bills fandom Only one thing that makes sense – Bills fans should worry.
(If you by chance enjoyed my above spew and wouldn’t mind a bit more of my attempts at humor, you can find them at www.collegehoopshumor.com or on Twitter: @collhoopshumor – Thanks.)
