College hoops season is starting! Want a little recap of everything that took place since March Madness? And want some laughs as well? Here is part three of the pre-season recap by CollegeHoopsHumor.com’s Dave Barend.
You can also find more of Dave’s college basketball jokes on Twitter @collhoopshumor
I just saw a report that East Carolina has a better-recruiting class than North Carolina. I then saw a separate story noting that most high schoolers don’t know the difference between east and north.
Clemson won the World University Games making them “the best team in the world”. The tournament, however, had a notable omission – all other teams from the U.S.
FIBA suspended a former Ohio U player due to a positive urine test for gHC – a pregnancy hormone. Got to wonder if his conversation with FIBA ended with, “Oh, one other thing, your girlfriend’s pregnant.”
Auburn just released a statement indicating they expect notice of NCAA violations. What took that school so long? It’s been 5 years since they hired Bruce Pearl.
Allegations have surfaced that NIKE gave Zion Williamson money at Duke. Hard to believe. They didn’t even give him a decent pair of shoes.
People are shocked that a Louisville trustee may have been the one who paid strippers to have sex with recruits. Yes, there’s evidence that an old rich guy likes slutty women. Shocking.
Loyola-Chicago’s Sister Jean just turned 100. Damn, I should have taken the over.
Miss. State football and basketball players had a tutor complete a course for them. Those players must now take a class on academic misconduct. So if you know a good tutor . . .
The ACC Network is now up and running. Fantastic. College hoops fans will finally be able to see Duke.
Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis (IUPUI) is now looking for a new coach. There may be a reason to also look for a new name.
In response to a Title IX lawsuit, Michigan St. maintained that when it comes to sexual assault complaints, it does not give preferential treatment to athletes. Only to doctors.
Utah received two years probation from the NCAA for recruiting during a “quiet” time. Seems excessive. A violation of quiet time usually just means 5 more minutes of quiet time.
The Northeast Conference is assessing interest in its own TV channel. Half of those questioned asked, “What the hell is the Northeast Conference?” – and that’s not the worst of it. The other half asked, “Where the hell is the Northeast Conference?”
Duke hired investigators who just announced they found no evidence that NIKE paid Zion to go there. Moments later those investigators were hired by O.J. Simpson.
Kentucky has made a whopping five straight Final Fours, in September.
Arizona’s assistant coach paid a high school coach to change a recruit’s transcript. So, what I want to know is: How did the high school coach get a hold of Ferris Bueller’s computer?
The NCAA banned Georgia Tech from the Tournament for taking players to a strip club. A better punishment would be forcing them to play in the Tournament, right after they went to a strip club.
