When it comes to receiving Belly Up Sports Dunce Awards it’s been a tough week for some high profile persons around the world of athletics

This week, we're taking a page from Oprah (pictured here) and everybody's getting Dunce Awards
Athletes out here doing too much! Ya’ll all getting Dunce Awards!

There are times when athletes leave us in awe. The brilliance of their abilities and accomplishments shine like a beacon in a news cycle that can be grim at best and maddening at its worst. There are times when it takes the magnetic power of sport to bring people together…

…yeah, this wasn’t one of those weeks.

This week, at least when it comes to the Belly Up Sports Dunce Awards, was kind of like Oprah handing out cars to audience members; you get a Dunce! You get a Dunce! You get a Dunce! You’re all getting a Dunce!

Dunce Awards: Number One – Deontay Wilder

That outfit looking heavy, Deontay! It’s probably a lot lighter to hold that “L” from Tyson Fury

What is the worst excuse you have ever used? Did your car break down on the way to work? Did the dog eat your homework? Did you wear a 45 pound costume to walk out for your last championship fight and lose?

Like, for real! Which of those excuses is the lamest?

Deontay Wilder lost the first fight of his professional boxing career (42-1-1), as well as his WBC Heavyweight Championship to Tyson Fury (30-0-1) via 7th round TKO in a highly anticipated championship rematch.

Wilder was outclassed by Fury, who beat Wilder from pillar to post, and even did this weird thing where he licked the blood off of Wilder’s face (not cool, Tyson… not cool, at all).

After the fight, Wilder said that Tyson Fury was the better fighter that night. It was admirable. Deontay wasn’t going to make any excuses… until he made the worst excuse in human history (mind you, I teach middle school in my spare time, so I’ve heard some awful excuses).

Yes, friends. Deontay Wilder blamed his lack of movement and weak legs on wearing a costume during his entrance on fight night that was too heavy.

I can’t even… not today, Satan! You’re getting a Dunce!

Dunce Award Number Two: Anybody Worried about Joe Burrow’s Hand Size

Joe Burrow, clearly noting his tiny hands during the National Championship game. How the hell did he win a Heisman?

There are some people that refer to the NFL Combine and the events surrounding it as football’s “crazy season”. It is a time when GM’s put smoke screens out there to try to mask their true intentions.

The media can eat this up, reporting everything they hear even if it is obviously a sophomoric attempt at hiding a team’s strategy. We’re used to that.

But, every once in a while, there is a true gem that comes out of the Combine. A concern due to a measurable trait of a high-level prospect that just doesn’t seem to match up with what the guy has already put on tape.

Maybe, it is a receiver that runs a surprisingly slow 40 time even though the pass-catcher burns DBs on tape. Maybe it is a mauler on the offensive line that bombs his bench press.

And then there is this Joe Burrow foolishness.

Umm…what the what?!

Yes, QB’s have their bodies measured and there are ideal proportions for every position. But, there are some things that surpass measurables, like throwing for 5,671 yards and 60 touchdowns on your way to winning the toughest conference in college football, the Heisman Trophy, and the National Championship.

Joe Burrow was, clearly, distraught after learning of this horrific news.

America is with you during this difficult time, Joe. Luckily, not all heroes wear capes…

America thanks you, Patrick Mahomes!

And… if you are worried about Joe Burrow’s hand size, go ahead and miss me with that garbage! You can, however, hold this Dunce Award!

When it comes to the 2020 NFL Draft, the Cincinnati Bengals had better paraphrase the Pointer Sisters:

They had better draft the man with the small hands!

And Finally… Number Three: The NBA for “Randomly” Drug Testing Bradley Beal

The NBA earned one of this week's Dunce Awards for their drug test of Bradley Beal (pictured here)
Complaining that you missed the All Star Game- OK
The NBA drug testing Beal after back-to-back 50 point games- not OK

The Wizards suck. You know it. I know it.

But Bradley Beal does not. He is amazing, and single handedly trying to lift the Wizards into the playoffs. Some very smart, funny, and handsome people associated with Belly Up Sports wrote about Beal being snubbed from the All Star game.

Now, Beal is the hottest player in the NBA, dropping 50+ points in back-to-back contests. And the NBA wants to celebrate Bradley’s accomplishments…with a “random” drug test.

The NBA deserves this Dunce Award. The only thing Bradley Beal is smoking is opposing defenses.

That’s all, for now. Check out the Belly Up Dunce Awards, as well as all the other amazing content at Belly Up Sports. Follow me on Twitter and on Instagram. Check out my podcast, “F” in Sports and follow the pod on Twitter and Instagram.

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Chaka Cummings

I'm your favorite rapper's favorite writer.

1 Comment

    When I first saw that picture of Deontay Wilder I legit thought it was a still from an episode of The Masked Singer lol

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