Mike D’Antoni and Daryl Morey are trying to Oompa Loompa their way to an NBA Championship…good luck with that!

Let the Houston Rockets be the first to welcome NBA fans to Munchkin Land!

That might be over-stating it a bit (especially since I am 5’10”), but the Houston Rockets are going all in on small ball with the completion of a 4 team, 12 player trade that also involved the Atlanta Hawks, Denver Nuggets, and Minnesota Timberwolves.

The Houston Rockets traded away their staring center, Clint Capela, acquiring Jordan Bell and Robert Covington from Minnesota. Capela will make his new home in Atlanta. The other details are less relevant for this post, but you can get those details here.

While Jordan Bell is young and serviceable, the obvious plan for the Rockets is to go small in the hopes of creating mismatches for opposing teams.

The Rockets flirted with this idea already. In their 125-110 victory over Charlotte, the Rockets did not start a player taller than 6’5″ and only played one player taller than 6’6″ (Isaiah Hartenstein, who played 3 minutes…and, no, I haven’t heard of him, either).

Russell Westbrook and James Harden discussing who will jump center in their next game, maybe.

What the heck are the Houston Rockets thinking?

On its face, this doesn’t seem like a very good idea. In a game where giants towering above seven feet are regular participants, Houston must be taking crazy pills to try to go tiny, right?

Well, Golden State won championships with its Death Lineup creating mismatches all over the place. Every player could hit threes, defensively they could switch everything, and teams struggled like heck to match up with five ball handlers on the floor at once.

So this could work, right?

Well…

Eric Gordon’s reaction to finding out he drew the Anthony Davis matchup versus the Lakers, probably.

Three reason why this is the stupidest idea on the face of the friggin’ Earth:

Golden State’s Death Lineup was a unique phenomenon.

It works when you have a Kevin Durant, Steph Curry, Klay Thompson, Draymond Green, and Andre Iguodala. The Houston Rockets have pieces with James Harden and Russell Westbrook (let’s, for the sake of argument, say they are equal to Steph and Klay), the newly acquired Robert Covington (call him the Rockets’ Iguodala) and PJ Tucker (classic Draymond-type guy). So, what missing? Oh yeah, KEVIN DURANT!!! I like Eric Gordon, but come on. He lacks the skill level and height that Durant brought to the Death Lineup, period.

The Western Conference will feast on the short, dying carcasses that will make up Houston’s front court.

Houston occupied the fifth seed in the West at the time this post was written. Ahead of the Houston Rockets are: Utah (with their Stifle Tower, Rudy Gobert), Denver (why so serious, because they have Nikola Jokic), the Clippers (Paul George be like, “who’s gonna guard me?” Montrezl Harrell is like, “YOU?!, What is their plan for guarding me?”) and the Lakers (that sound you heard was Anthony Davis‘ unibrow perching high above his eye, a la The Rock).

Eventually, the Rockets are going to have to play some semblance of defense if they plan to win anything.

They, literally, gave up their best interior defender since Yao Ming to go with small ball. While they acquired Jordan Bell, he is no where near the defender Capela is. Who is going to get the tough rebounds? Contest layups at the basket? Fight for post position? PJ Tucker can’t be the only answer. He is 6’5″. Tucker has never been called upon to be the primary post guy.

And, don’t even let me get started on if the Rockets were to, somehow, make it to the Finals and had to deal with Giannis (you heard the Greek Freak laughing too, didn’t you?)!

Russell Westbrook of the Houston Rockets
Russell Westbrook yelling at Mike D’Antoni when the Rockets are losing games and getting destroyed from the inside-out, likely.

This isn’t going to end well for the Houston Rockets!

Analytics run the NBA. Daryl Morey and Mike D’Antoni believe in shooting 3’s until the cows come home. Their current roster will allow them to jack up a ton of those.

The Houston Rockets are set up to be a high scoring, fun to watch team with their ability to run and score.

Too bad it won’t win a title.

Who am I kidding, the Houston Rockets represent the lollipop guild!

And they will, likely, go home early in the playoffs.

Follow me on Twitter @chakacummings and check out the great NBA content on Belly Up Sports.

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Chaka Cummings

I'm your favorite rapper's favorite writer.

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