Ten people were hurt as a robot umpire went berserk at a Spring Training game this afternoon at George Steinbrenner Field. The game between the Toronto Blue Jays and New York Yankees was canceled after the incident.
After the robot umpire called Yankees P JA Happ’s first pitch, a strike. The umpire asked for the jersey, cleats, and motorcycle of Blue Jays SS Cavan Biggio. Biggio replied, “I don’t own a motorcycle.” The robot umpire asked Biggio for the same three items again to which Biggio shouted, “I don’t own a motorcycle, man!” The robot umpire threw Biggio out of the game, then demanded the same items from Yankees C Gary Sanchez.
Yankees manager Aaron Boone, coiled and ready to leap off of the dugout steps to tell the robot umpire to get its s*%t together, was thrown out of the game.
Members of the Yankees ran back to the dugout and Guerrero ran and jumped into the Toronto dugout. Then, the robot umpire turned its eyes to the crowd and went berserk. The robot umpire tore a hole through the protective fencing and charged into the crowd. It knocked down several fans before heading towards the exit.
Those who were hurt suffered bumps and bruises and a few retirees were awakened from their afternoon nap. Stadium security also reported a small child spilled her ice cream cone in the fray.
Robot Umpire’s Whereabouts
Security guards at the stadium said that the robot umpire continued its berserk. It ripped the exit gate off of its hinges and was last seen in the parking lot. Several fans reported seeing the robot umpire muttering about finding John Connor before opening a portal hole to the year 1884.
Manfred Reacts
MLB commissioner Rob Manfred took a moment from shining MLBPA president Tony Clark’s shoes to react to the incident.
“We knew the risks when we worked with Skynet on the development of the robot umpires,” said Manfred. “Frankly, it’s not my job to be concerned with a piece of metal,”.
Manfred later offered a concession to injured fans by promising the opportunity to throw at a member of the Houston Astros 2017 roster. Clark then told Manfred to get back to work.
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