Ah college football is back. While tailgates aren’t really allowed, we still need to get our drink on pre-, mid-, and postgame. But, you need to pick a drink according to your favorite team. Well, look no further, as here is the SEC drinking guide.
Alabama: Jack Daniels Sinatra Select
A classic. Something that is as good as it was in the 1960’s. Smooth, tastes great, but can still punch you in the mouth. Sinatra Select was named for American icon Frank Sinatra, and an iconic team needs an iconic drink.
Georgia: Evan Williams
Take everything I just said about Alabama, and apply it to someone that thinks they have that history, but don’t. Georgia wants to be Alabama so badly. If Alabama does something (i.e. add LEDs to their stadium), know Georgia will announce that they are doing it right after.
Quick disclaimer: I am aware Evan Williams is a bourbon, and Jack Daniels is Tennessee Whiskey, which is different. However, just look at the bottle and tell me it doesn’t look like a ripoff of the classic Jack label.
Tennessee: Moonshine
I know, I know, Tennessee is 2-0. And I know, expectations are high, but c’mon. They’ve played South Carolina and Mizzou. After the Georgia game, Vols fans will wish they were blind. Well, crack open a mason jar, and hope you never have to see those puke, inside of a pumpkin orange uniforms ever again.
Also, never forget: they lowdown, they dirty, they some snitches.
Florida: Meth
Not technically a drink but… we were all thinking it. I will not be including a picture for this one.
Vanderbilt: Old Fashioned
An elegant, smart drink. This has nothing to do with their play on the field. Vandy fans don’t really care about their team, they’re all too busy going to Broadway to some bar, getting a drink and talking about school. Because they are nerds.
South Carolina: Aristocrat Vodka
God, Aristocrat is gross (hope they never sponsor us because this would be hard to explain.) In Tuscaloosa, you could get a handle for $13.49. It was not good, but it was cheap. Except for that one night. You soaked some Jolly Ranchers in it, and it suddenly became the greatest thing ever… after you drank everything else. For South Carolina, that one night was the Georgia game last year. Everyone loved that one game, but would never pick South Carolina ever.
Kentucky: N/A
This is a basketball school, and is exempt from the SEC football drinking guide.
Missouri: Miller Light
Look, I have nothing to back this up. I don’t have a reason for it, it just feels right. Don’t ask me why, but you know its true.
Texas A&M: Kool Aid
Texas A&M is a cult. When you think of cults, what do you think of? That’s right, Kool Aid. A&M fans are drinking the Kool Aid, and for that, more power to them.
LSU: Fireball
Fireball is great, but only for one night. Everyone has those memories of downing a whole bottle of Fireball their freshman year, and then thinking it sucks forever. LSU’s 2019 team was that first night of Fireball. Next thing you know, they suck, but you’ll always have that one night.
Auburn: PBR
It’s not that good, some people love it, and the choice of absentee fathers everywhere.
Auburn’s OL has completely abandoned Bo Nix tonight. Kind of like how Bo Nix completely abandoned his son.
— the content is good (@BourbonGhost) October 4, 2020
Arkansas: Home Made Wine
This stuff is disgusting, and trust me, I know from first hand experience. I’m not going to tell you all you need is grape juice, sugar, and yeast to make it. I remember how excited we were while we waited for this to ferment, only to be disgusted once we had it. This is life for an Arkansas fan.
Mississippi State: Original Recipe Four Loko
Only a lunatic would drink Four Loko, which a lot of my friends did in college. Mike Leach is an absolute nut case, and he is slowly becoming the SEC’s darling child. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn Leach pounds Four Lokos before kickoff. Gives him the energy he needs to call the same three plays all game, but enough of a buzz to not get bored of it.
Ole Miss: Whatever the Girl Across the Bar is Drinking
There you have it. Your 2020 SEC drinking guide. What will I be drinking on gameday? Some Breckenridge Brews of course. Want to follow my journey into inebriation during Alabama football games? Check me out on Twitter (@BellyUpKev). Need some more CFB content? We have you covered.
