That’s right, we’re talking Stephen A. Smith. The Tsar of Takes, the Head of Horny, the Kaiser of Controversy. With so many legendary takes, why not round off his greatest moments!

HM: All of the Memes

These don’t quite fit anywhere, but Stephen A. Smith is a meme god. Nothing more to it.

HM: General Hospital Appearance

I mean, what the fuck was this. It was so raw, so intriguing, and… so weird. Stephen A. as a federal agent… or something? He also all over Sonny’s wife, Carly, which is very on brand for him. Which brings us to our first actual entry…

4. Stephen A Smith, but the A Stands for Horny

There’s just too many moments to pick from. However, there is zero doubt in my mind that good ole Steve is horny ALL HOURS OF THE DAY. Like a lot of men, he wakes up ready to go, so that knocks out hour one. He is unmarried, but probably wakes up next to a girlfriend or a Tinder hookup, so there’s hour two. The time between getting ready for his work day to whenever he sees Molly is up for anyone to debate, but I can tell you one thing: he is definitely horny. There’s no ifs or ands about it. I would say there’s no buts about it, but Stephen A. is, as everyone knows, a bottom feeder.

3. Holla at ya Boiiiiii

This is why Stephen A. Smith is allowed to be the way he is. He is just dripping with sex appeal. The cigar, the flag, the swagger. As a straight man I can say, Stephen A. has me feeling some type of way. But I digress, Stephen A. is a stud, a legend, and gets away with it just because he is the coolest man on ESPN.

2. Stay Off the Weeeeeeeduh

C’mon, you knew this had to make an appearance. One of Stephen A. Smith’s most iconic lines. The extended E, the emphasis on the D. It is, quite possibly, perfection. As one who does not partake in the devil’s lettuce (gimme a bottle of Jack and I am good to go), I can 100% say this is some great advice. Marijuana derails careers, just look at Josh Gordon. Now, would his career had been derailed if the NFL were cool for just once? No, but that’s besides the point. Stephen A. Smith is doing the lord’s work, and I commend him for that. What might be shocking to you, however, is that this is only number two…

1. Who was on CRACK

Stephen A. Smith is two things: an ass man (as noted above), and a Knicks man. Well, he had some thoughts about the Knicks signing of Lamar Odom. Instead of doing the Lord’s work and telling the kids of America to stay off the weed, Stephen A. should’ve been telling Lamar to stay of the crack. The most fired up I’ve ever seen him, he does have a point…

As a quick disclaimer, I am not, nor will I ever knock someone for having a substance abuse problem. If you or anyone you know is struggling with substances, please seek help or encourage them to seek help.

There you have it, some Stephen A. Smith iconic moments. England has the Queen, Australia has Steve Irwin (RIP), but we have Stephen A., so who’s the real winner? Thanks for the memes, the laughs, and above all, the horniness Stephen A.

Be sure to follow me on Twitter to hear more about my love Stephen A. Smith, and my other weird thoughts. While you’re at it, check out some other great blogs over at Belly Up!

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Jack Daniel

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