Tonight is the well-hyped debut of the number two overall pick in the 2021 NFL Draft, Zach Wilson. The New York Jets’ newest quarterback is arguably the most polarizing of the rookie class of quarterbacks. NFL Twitter has been ablaze with takes on the former BYU star during his practices. Reactions to his inauspicious intra-squad scrimmage only threw more gasoline onto this fire. Though it’s highly unfair to declare a player a “BUST” on one scrimmage and a handful of practices, I’ve decided to turn my anger into some fun. It’s difficult to say how many series he’ll see, but let’s play the inaugural Zach Wilson Drinking Game.
Only Two Rules
Wilson played his college ball at Brigham Young University, which is highly focused on GCL: Good Clean Living.
So, we need to establish the most key rule of the Zach Wilson Drinking Game: no alcoholic beverages. Grab a water, a Gatorade, maybe a Coke, Pepsi, or a Dr. Pepper. Whichever non-alcoholic beverage suits your fancy. The object of the game is to have fun and not regret your actions the following morning. The next rule is to have two glasses ready: a shot glass and a pint glass. This will come in handy in the next section for your scenarios.
Here’s When You Drink
Any drinking game had different scenarios where you need to drink after something happens. I know most of you who are reading are past college age, but this is a reminder for all of the brain cells you obliterated during college or at tailgates. Now, here are the scenarios you’ll need to take a drink during the Zach Wilson Drinking Game. Get your Mr. Pibb, shot glasses, and pint glasses ready!
The Official Zach Wilson Drinking Game Scenarios
Zach Wilson’s first NFL pass is a completion: take a shot.
Zach Wilson’s first NFL pass is an interception: take a shot.
Zach Wilson throws a touchdown or a Pick Six: chug.
Zach Wilson is sacked: take a shot.
Zach Wilson avoids a sack and runs or throws for a first down: take two shots.
Zach Wilson throws an interception while under pressure: chug.
Zach Wilson’s final completion percentage is over 60%: take a shot.
Zach Wilson’s final completion percentage is under 60%: take two shots. (Caveat: if it’s under 50%, take three shots.)
Any shots of Zach Wilson’s mom in the crowd: take two shots, then call your mother and tell her that you love her.
Any mention of Zach Wilson’s time in the film room: take a shot.
Any mention by commentary of Zach Wilson’s accuracy, then he throws an incompletion: take three shots.
The Final Round
The final round of the Zach Wilson Drinking Game will be the post-game reaction. If you’re in the New York area, your local news and cable sports stations will break things down. There will also be the reaction on social media from a myriad of Jets beat writers. So, if Wilson has a great game and the media laud him, then do nothing. Be happy that he had a good game. But if Wilson has a lousy game and everyone is concerned, grab the nearest bottle of hard liquor and do a shot. Keep the bottle for the remaining 19 weeks. You might as well admit that it’ll be another long season on One Jets Drive.
