Going into the season, the University of North Carolina had high hopes for their football squad. On the back of their Heisman hopeful quarterback, Sam Howell, the Tarheels expected to push for an ACC title. However, after a disappointing start to the season, UNC football seems to be dealing with an outbreak.

How Bad has the Outbreak Been?

While some programs have spent the past year dealing with Covid, UNC football is dealing with a… difference kind of outbreak.

Ah, good ol’ chlamydia. While it’s not surprising a bunch of D1 athletes are getting laid a lot, it is surprising they are having unprotected sex, for a whole host of reasons. Any athlete reading this, let’s run through the list of reasons to at least wear a condom.

1. No STDs

In football, it’s necessary to be in peak physical condition. While being in shape and eating right is a big part of that, there are other ways to take care of your body. Whether it be the clap, the clam, crabs, or the pox, you cannot perform at peak efficiency with any kind of virus/infection, especially one easily prevented with a little latex.

2. No Kids

Also in regards to peak physical condition, you can’t play well if you had a kid crying in your ear all night. More importantly though, your goal is to make it to the NFL. You don’t want to get slapped with child support after signing that rookie contract. Don’t fumble the bag like PJ Washington did:

It doesn’t matter how much you love her (or how drunk you are). Wrap it up guys. If my words aren’t enough, here’s a quick PSA.

Want to stay up to date on all things college football? Check out Belly Up, and check out Tailgate on the Quad to hear a weekly breakdown of the biggest games/stories!
Listen to “Episode 16: The Tailgate 25 and CFB Scheduling Sucks” on Spreaker.
About Author

Kev

Growing up in the northeast, college football wasn't exactly played in my house. That all changed when I went to the University of Alabama. I immediately fell in love with college football, and took that love to Belly Up Sports where I became the college football department head. One upside of being from Massachusetts is I have seen a lot of success in terms of sports, and fell in love with all sports at a young age, so I will dip my pen about pretty much anything. I also make graphic content for the site.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *