Going into the season, the University of North Carolina had high hopes for their football squad. On the back of their Heisman hopeful quarterback, Sam Howell, the Tarheels expected to push for an ACC title. However, after a disappointing start to the season, UNC football seems to be dealing with an outbreak.
How Bad has the Outbreak Been?
While some programs have spent the past year dealing with Covid, UNC football is dealing with a… difference kind of outbreak.
Ah, good ol’ chlamydia. While it’s not surprising a bunch of D1 athletes are getting laid a lot, it is surprising they are having unprotected sex, for a whole host of reasons. Any athlete reading this, let’s run through the list of reasons to at least wear a condom.
1. No STDs
In football, it’s necessary to be in peak physical condition. While being in shape and eating right is a big part of that, there are other ways to take care of your body. Whether it be the clap, the clam, crabs, or the pox, you cannot perform at peak efficiency with any kind of virus/infection, especially one easily prevented with a little latex.
2. No Kids
Also in regards to peak physical condition, you can’t play well if you had a kid crying in your ear all night. More importantly though, your goal is to make it to the NFL. You don’t want to get slapped with child support after signing that rookie contract. Don’t fumble the bag like PJ Washington did:
PJ Washington is now forced to pay $200k/month in child support over the next 18 years. Ex-wife secretly filed for divorce 2 weeks after giving birth to child. pic.twitter.com/1ZsU03JgFG— Locked (@Lockedau) August 9, 2021
It doesn’t matter how much you love her (or how drunk you are). Wrap it up guys. If my words aren’t enough, here’s a quick PSA.