In Season 3, Episode 4 (“Remedial Chaos Theory”) of the widely popular sitcom “Community,” Abed and Troy host an apartment-warming party. They invite the study group over for pizza. No one wants to get the pizza, so they all roll die to see who gets the pizza. In once scene, the number one is rolled by Jeff and Troy must get the pizza. What follows is a series of tragic events (as seen in the embedded video below)…
The events lead to the beginning of “The Darkest Timeline.” Like the events on “Community,” fans of the New York Jets have now entered “The Darkest Timeline.” Following one of the most embarrassing losses in recent memory – and believe you me, I’ve witnessed some clunkers – this got me thinking of how we as fans got here.
A Roll of the Die
To see how we the Jets got to “The Darkest Timeline,” we must go to the roll of the die. In this scenario, general manager Joe Douglas is Jeff. Douglas hired former San Francisco defensive coordinator Robert Saleh. Saleh selected his staff and he brought on board from the same San Francisco team run game coordinator Mike LaFleur to run the offense. In the draft, Douglas selected BYU quarterback Zach Wilson as the second overall pick. Douglas has rolled the die this season with a rookie quarterback, a first-year head coach, and a former run game coordinator in his first year as offensive coordinator. As soon as Jets fans left the room to get some pizza – like Troy – and come back to the tragic events.
The Series of Events? Injuries.
Like our journey into “The Darkest Timeline,” the series of tragic events for the Jets are the injuries suffered. Defensive linemen Vinny Curry and Carl Lawson were each lost for the season in the opening weeks of camp (Curry to a blood disorder, Lawson to a torn Achilles). Offensive lineman Mekhi Becton and punter Braden Mann were each injured in Week 1. Wide receiver Elijah Moore suffers a concussion, safety Marcus Maye hurts his ankle, and wide receiver Jamison Crowder pulled his groin in Week 2. Linebacker C.J. Mosley pulled his hamstring in Week 5 and did not play in Sunday’s game. Finally, Jets fans walked into the fire surrounding the gnome last Sunday with Wilson injuring his knee and linebacker Jamien Sherwood rupturing his Achilles.
We’ve Entered the Darkest Timeline
I watched what happened in Sunday’s game. I sent this tweet semi-joking about my expectations for that game.
My prediction for Jets-Patriots:
— Ryan McCarthy ???? (@WhoIsRyanMcC) October 24, 2021
– I watch the 1st half;
– Seethe endlessly as the Pats possess the ball for over 20 mins. & go up 21-0;
– I turn off the game & watch Nacho Libre instead, discovering later the Jets score 21 & still lose by 14.#TakeFlight #ForeverNE #NFLTwitter
The Jets were playing a New England Patriots game that was – on paper – not very good. They made that team look like the “Cobra Kai” Patriots of 2007. Bill Belichick showed no mercy on the Jets like he had the previous eleven times the two teams have met. I turned the game off at halftime and watched movies for the rest of the game. If that makes me a bad beat writer and a worse fan, then fine. But the apex of my frustration watching this team fail week after week for the last 12 years reached its apex. I later sent this tweetthread, explaining that the Jets are now in “The Darkest Timeline.”
Furthermore, the Jets are light years from the Super Bowl. Nowhere near playoff contention. Hell, I don't see them being anywhere near .500 for another two years, but only if their picks hit. The Jets are in Browns 2004-2018 territory. It's the darkest timeline.
— Ryan McCarthy ???? (@WhoIsRyanMcC) October 24, 2021
Will Jets Fans Ever See the Light of Day?
Does one bad game define a season? No. Does four bad games define a season? Up to this point, yes. For the rest of the season, the Jets’ roster is super thin and their fans will be in “The Darkest Timeline.” Saleh promised, “All gas, no brake” when he was introduced as head coach back in February. As of this moment, the only gas Jets fans are seeing is Pierce’s Serbian rum spilled on the floor before Britta’s joint sets the apartment on fire. We’ll need to endure the pain of another lost season and the eleventh season of no playoffs.
I just hope Saleh doesn’t put on a felt goatee.
