Boston, which was once one of America’s brightest cities, has been reduced to ruins. Why? Because of sports obviously. As a result of waiting for David Krejci and Patrice Bergeron to sign with the Bruins, the city has aged 562 years ahead of the rest 0f the world. What is now left is a shell of Boston’s former glory.

The Long Wait

Bergeron and Krejci

The citizens of Boston have dubbed this situation the Long Wait. In July of 2022, it was reported that Boston Bruins icons, Patrice Bergeron and David Krejci would re-sign with the team. However, nothing happened. Like nothing happened.

As the Bruins fanbase waited for the news of the signings, they entered a state of waiting that resulted in the city itself somehow becoming fractured from the timeline. As the fans waited, they neglected all of their duties outside of wanting their favorite Bruins veterans to return. Which then meant the city became dilapidated over time.

Is This An Overreaction?

Bergeron and Krejci

Is destroying your city and making look suspiciously as it did in Fallout 4 an overreaction to a sport? Nah. Sports are obviously all that matters in the world. And if my team is no good, then I would rather society be reduced to rubble. Ask any other sports fan and I’m sure that they would say the same thing.

Now, what would be overreacting would be saying that the Bruins aren’t going to be Stanley Cup champs for 200 years in a row. Since they are my favorite team, that means they are the best ever, no matter what. Anyone who says their “championship window is closed” probably also means they don’t believe in Santa (idiots).

Can This Be Reversed?

Bergeron and Krejci

Yes, all it would take is for the Bruins to finally sign Patrice Bergeron and David Krejci after centuries of basically teasing the fanbase. When those two sign, the city will return to normal. And don’t worry, if they don’t sign, Boston sports scientists have come up with a plan to reverse this situation.

And that plan is Mac Jones. He’s like really good at football and stuff. So the plan would be to divert everyone’s sadness about Bergeron and Krejci into excitement for Mac Jones and the Patriots. Obviously, since Mac Jones is a billion times better than Josh Allen, he will make Boston sports fans forget all about the potential dark times ahead for the Bruins. Also do not attempt to refute that claim there with actual facts and logic because I will ignore it because I do not like the Buffalo Bills.

Hi, I’m RJ Oakley, the Bruins beat writer here at Belly Up Sports. Check back here and follow me on Twitter for news and discussion on the B’s. Be sure to follow Belly Up Hockey for all your NHL needs!

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RJ Oakley

Hi I'm RJ from Hartford but I am all about Boston (and sometimes cars that go very fast).

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