You know UNICEF? The United Nations organization that provides relief and humanitarian aid to children? Otherwise known as the exact opposite of the Boston Red Sox. The children of Boston have eaten twice in the last 12 days, and ten times in the month of August. At this point, the state of Massachusetts needs to come in and take the children of Boston to suitable homes and press charges against John Henry and Fenway Sports Group for child endangerment and neglect. Is this overreacting to a bad season? No, it’s overreacting to two bad seasons.
Red Sox to Bring Chaim Back for Next Year
The kids are STARVING @RedSox#FireChaim pic.twitter.com/DfhYAKhyoF
— McCorkle Stan Account (@BellyUpKev) August 29, 2022
That’s right, get ready for more salary cuts next year with the return of Chaim Bloom, as Sam Kennedy announced he would be returning for next year. The man who cannot make up his mind when it comes to this roster is expected to return for another season in the Red Sox front office. While I do not like this move and blame him for some baffling trades, he is not to blame. He was brought in with marching orders to cut payroll, which he has done. But why?
“‘F*ck Them Kids’- Michael Jordan”- John Henry
Look, I hated the Mookie Betts trade, but I get it. You don’t want to pay a guy $300 million, and got a decent player in Alex Verdugo back. However, why did we get to this point? You are the Boston Fucking Red Sox. Even with the third smallest, second most expensive venue in the MLB, you still regularly finish top ten in attendance. You have the support of the city, yet refuse to put a product on the field that doesn’t make the average Red Sox fan vomit. Why is it you refuse to spend money?
Fenway Sports Group is to Blame
You sent our best homegrown talent since Ted Williams out of town due to money. You are about to chase away to other homegrown talents, a young star in Rafael Devers and a seasoned veteran in Xander Bogaerts, by lowballing them. Why do you have money trouble? Oh, Mohamed Salah makes $18.2 million per year for Liverpool. Crosby makes $9 million and Evgeni Malkin makes $6.1 million for the Penguins. Oh, and co-owner Lebron wants an NBA team in Las Vegas. On the Red Sox, Salah would be the 4th highest earner, Crosby would be the 5th, and Malkin would be the 8th. You are the fucking Fenway Sports Group. Put some money into this team.
Am I Overreacting?
No, I am not. “But the Red Sox have the 6th highest total payroll in the MLB!” you shout. You’re right, with the second highest retained payroll number in the league. Next season, they drop to 14th, still with $12 million retained payroll. Their 26-man payroll is below league average for 2023. Pay Raffy, pay Devers, and go out and get some free agents. You’re the fucking Red Sox, stop being a laughingstock.
Very sad to report that the children are left starving tonight, truly hate to see it pic.twitter.com/1KVjKaLcCx
— Patches O’Houlihan (@sondraa) July 8, 2022
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