Times were simpler back in the 1990s. I was just a kid, didn’t have to worry about a job, a mortgage, a wife, basic daily hygiene, etc. It’s safe to say we’re in much different times now as adults. We’re going through life trying to navigate the endless changes and stressors that get thrown our way. That’s why, as life continues to be stressful, it’s nice to be able to lean back on the novelty of our youth. One of the biggest things in my life as a child was pro wrestling. It helped to shape me into the adult I am today. This is probably why I refuse to enter my office without the sound of shattering glass in my head while I envision pounding beers and flipping all my coworkers off.
Pro wrestling was one of the greatest things to me as a kid. I always thought one day I’d grow up to be a pro wrestler. My childhood naivete prevented me from realizing that takes an actual work ethic and healthy living. So instead, at 35 years old and as someone who heavily breathes halfway up a flight of stairs, I’m choosing to relive the nostalgia of my childhood. Now though, instead of a Ghostbusters Hi-C in my hand, I am choosing a beer for every rewatch of Wrestlemania. Here, I will summarize all the matches, the in-betweens, and unnecessary celebrity appearances. All courtesy of Peacock and the WWE network and back catalog.
Wrestlemania
As the inaugural post, we’ll start with a review of the inaugural event. From Madison Square Garden in New York City, miles from where I lived and only 3 years before I was born. Vince McMahon (Voldemort I guess, these days) created the pivotal moment for pro wrestling as we know it today. This was the beginning of the end for the territories. They just didn’t realize it at the time, as McMahon’s (and WWF’s) future hinged on this event. The buildup was huge and with it, the WWF began its ascent into mainstream. I’ll always remember my chubby little boyhood ass sitting in front of the TV, watching a rented VHS of Wrestlemania with joy. Hopefully, the pessimism of life that I’ve acquired in the years since will not skew my memories.
The build-up for this first Wrestlemania was huge, especially for the time. While it’s normal to see wrestlers in the mainstream these days, back then it was rare. WWF was able to rely on the budding era of Hulkamania paired with the star power of Clubber Lang himself, Mr. T. The two would team up and be seen on talk shows, MTV, the Grammys, and even Saturday Night Live.
So for this first Wrestlemania rewatch, I chose a Riwakamania beer. As you can see by the can, this decision was based solely on the design. A clear salute to Hulkamania seems to me to be the perfect beginning for this journey of mine.
Overall a good beer, normally I’m not a fan of hazy IPAs, but this one was decent. 6.3/10 based on absolutely no actual ranking system.
Rewatch Begins!
National Anthem: Mean Gene Okerlund
Fun trivia fact: Mean Gene Okerlund sang the very first rendition of the national anthem for Wrestlemania. Not so fun trivia fact, it was thrown together last minute. Mean Gene, a legend in wrestling, obviously had no idea he would be out there. Clutching his index cards of lyrics, he manages to finish the song while never actually hitting a note. The New York faithful did lend a hand, one of our rare moments of kindness, as they watched Gene struggle. Good thing he wasn’t a homeless guy outside MSG, completely different story. Anyway, turns out there was a celebrity who was supposed to sing, but they cancelled last minute. Somehow, nobody has ever revealed who that celebrity was, and it’s a mystery to this day.
And after he’s done, we begin, with the commentary of my childhood Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse the Body Ventura.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 1: Tito Santana vs. The Executioner (Buddy Jones)
This match may have been right before they chose to have Mean Gene sing the national anthem. Even the pre-match interviews were filled with (again Mean Gene) and Tito saying they had no idea who the Executioner even was. Not that they didn’t know who was the man underneath the mask, but rather who the hell he was to even be on the card. For all they knew, the MSG janitor slapped a luchador mask on and decided he was wrestling that day.
I know Santana is a Hall of Famer, but this match is one we can easily forget. We do get our first reminder of how far wrestling has come during this match, as Santana throws the Executioner out of the ring. Rather than an announcer table feet away, the timekeeper is connected to the ring. The entire outside is a claustrophobic nightmare. Even as the camera pans out, you see people resting their arms on the mat, watching inches away.
Winner: Tito Santana
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 2: King Kong Bundy w/Jimmy Hart vs. SD Jones
We get a small little prematch interview with SD Jones before the match, as he tells people this is the moment he’s been waiting for. That’s sad because the moment lasts about 10 seconds as Bundy quickly squashes him in, per Gorilla Monsoon, record time. Bundy was one of the biggest names to me as a kid, so it’s fun to watch him. Unfortunately, I chose to blink, so I missed this match.
Winner: King Kong Bundy
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 3: Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne
Another Hall of Famer, Steamboat, would have much better Wrestlemania matches than this. Monsoon and Ventura do their best to hype this match up as it goes, but you can tell in their voices even they know that’s a losing effort. There’s nothing wrong with this match on the surface, it’s just boring. Steamboat does have a nice flying finish off the top rope, which finally breathed some life into this event.
Winner: Steamboat
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 4: David Sammartino (w/Bruno Sammartino) vs Brutus Beefcake (w/Johnny Valiant)
Thinking of Brutus Beefcake you would not immediately picture this incarnation of him. Missing are the hedge shears and bombastic persona. Instead, we have a somber, yet still flashy, version fighting the son of one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. David Sammartino had a long way to go to live up to his father’s name. Bruno is considered by many to be one of the greatest to ever wrestle. This match didn’t help him shed those whispers of nepotism. There are some fun holds, and Beefcake does his job as the heel to get cheap heat. We eventually get to see some of Bruno’s actions as he sticks up for his son, which only hurts David’s image in the long run.
Winner: Nobody- Double Disqualification
Side Note
I’ve been to MSG many times. Sure, I’ve usually had a few beers before I get in, but I’m still 99% sure they have lights in there. Did nobody think they should turn them on during this? It’s tough to get a crowd reaction when all you see is the lower half of the faces of only the front row. The crowd is around 19,000 but watching this you wouldn’t be shocked to hear it was 75 people. If you said the crowd cheering was as real as the laughs on ‘Friends’ I wouldn’t even think to argue.
Anyway, after this fight, they take a minor break. Monsoon claims “pandemonium” has begun due to the ending of the last fight. As he says this they show the crowd silently sitting in their seats, probably wondering where Hulk Hogan is.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 5: Intercontinental Championship: Junkyard Dog vs Greg “The Hammer” Valentine (C) w/Jimmy Hart
My first thought is, that the Intercontinental title looks awesome in green. Also, we finally get an actual intro as Junkyard Dog comes out to music. Rocking the chain around his neck and chasing Valentine out of the ring, Junkyard Dog was over with the fans. The crowd finally seems interested in a match. JYD does some good taunting during the match, mimicking a dog. Valentine eventually cheats to pin JYD, but Tito Santana comes out to narc on him. The ref reverses his decision, but by this point, Valentine is walking away and gets counted out. So he’ll lose the match but keep the belt. Classic heel victory.
Winner: Junkyard Dog (but by count out so, not really)
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 6: Tag-Team Championship: Nikolai Volkoff & Iron Shiek w/Freddie Blassie vs The U.S. Express w/Captain Lou Albano
This match starts with Volkoff singing the Soviet national anthem, which heat current wrestling is missing. The ring was littered with trash as he sang it during the height of the Cold War. For those who are unaware, the Cold War was quite a tense time in history, as the entire world was constantly on the verge of being Oppenheimer’d. Thankfully, Sylvester Stallone ended the war in Rocky 4, but that wasn’t until 8 months later, so people hated the commies at this time.
The U.S. Express was the right choice to take them on, clad in red white, and blue. Captain Lou Albano is actually from the same town as me, so he’s always been a favorite. Plus, he was a better Mario than Chris Pratt.
The U.S. Express spent most of the match jumping around, beyond that it was a pretty mediocre match. Volkoff and Shiek did their best to get the crowd against them. Sure, the Shiek could have spit sand at the crowd or Volkoff could have threatened the gulag to the crowd if they didn’t agree with his personal views, but they still worked. In the end, Freddie Blassies cane was used to cheat, and Ivan Dragos’s cousin and his weird curled-toe friend won the championship. Captain Lou tried to tell the ref about it, but for some unknown reason, he didn’t listen as the ref did to Tito Santana earlier. Fuckin communists, man.
Winner: Not America
Post Match Interview
There wasn’t much to this, but The Iron Shiek called Gene Okerlund “Gene Mean” which I thoroughly enjoyed. There was also some blood on his hand?
After that, we see Bobby the Brain Heenan with Big John Studd interviewed by Mean Gene. Finally some Bobby Heenan, probably the best heel manager and commentator ever. Studd is holding a bag of money for the next match, then Bobby comes to the ring in a bedazzled coat that, in the right light, shows there was a second row at MSG that night.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 7: Big John Studd w/Bobby “The Brain” Heenan vs Andre the Giant in a body slam challenge
Whoever body slammed the other wins this match. Side bet was if Andre slammed Studd, he’d get the 15k in a sweet WWF duffle bag Studd showed earlier. If Andre lost, he’d have to retire. Studd starts the match by throwing haymakers, and Andre slows him down. It’s just Goliath vs Bigger Goliath, with Heenan outside yelling. Jesse Ventura also says Andre has size 24 boots, which would rival only Krusty the Klown’s feet. Maybe the Iron Shiek too, if we unrolled his toes.
The match itself was pretty slow, but to be fair there were roughly 800lbs between the two of them. According to WWF billing at least. Studd also measured at 7’3 and Andre was 7’whereverthecloudsare. In the end, Andre gets the win, takes the duffle bag (which now looks like a purse in his hands), and starts throwing the money out to the crowd. NYC hasn’t seen as good an economic stimulus since that day, to be honest.
Winner: Andre The Giant
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 8: Womens Championship: Wendi Richter w/Cyndi Lauper vs Leilani Kai (C) w/Fabulous Moolah
This match starts with Lauper, a huge pop star at the time, and Richter running to the ring together to what sounded like Nintendo background music. Moolah and Kai were already in the ring, and it appeared Moolah was discussing financial agreements with the ref for one of her girls later that night. Or something like that. I’m not sure. She was an awful human.
Anyway, this match was huge, as Lauper and my man Capt. Lou had helped to usher in the Rock N’ Wrestling Connection. This was important for the WWF, as they utilized Lauper to bring their brand to the forefront of MTV and gain a ton of popularity. Many of the younger people, AKA now our parents, tuned in just for this match. It was divas before Trish Stratus got adolescent men interested and Becky Lynch made people realize women’s wrestling was legit.
Lauper and Moolah are the two people mainly remember, but Richter was a big deal at the time. She’d end up winning the match, and the belt, while Lauper held her hand up. This was the big celebrity endorsement WWF/E would come to rely on as the years went on. While not the main event, it helped to lay the foundation for what Wrestlemania would become
Winner: Wendi Richter
Side Note
True Colors is a classic.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 9: Main Event: Hulk Hogan and Mr. T w/Jimmy Snuka vs Paul Orndoff and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper w/Cowboy Bob Orton
This is what the people have been waiting for. Hulkamania had taken the world by storm and there was no bigger name in wrestling. He transcended the typical image of a wrestler, bringing the sport to the mainstream. He even was on the cover of Sports Illustrated, further bringing relevance and popularity for the WWF.
We start the match with a guest ring announcer, Billy Martin. His first introduction for the match: Liberace. For those unfamiliar with Liberace’s work… well I’m right there with you. He was a more flamboyant but less talented Elton John, I believe. Regardless, he dances in the ring with some showgirls, until Martin introduces the next guest: Referee Muhammad Ali. People had to pay close attention because otherwise, they may have confused Liberace with Ali. Their similarities are almost endless.
Ali was announced as the referee, but instead, he sidled up next to the real one (Pat Patterson) and watched as Roddy Piper entered to his bagpipes. Orndoff and Orton came out with him, as most cowboys are synonymous with bagpipes.
Finally, we get Real American blasting, and turns out, there ARE lights in MSG as they go up like the encore for a Bruce Springsteen concert and we see the entire crowd erupt. Hulk Hogan is shown walking out with Mr. T, wearing a boxing robe for some inexplicable reason. Hulk is rocking a red shirt over his usual yellow tights, a look I feel he should’ve utilized a lot more. Jimmy Snuka is there too, so not sure why they didn’t just use him instead of literally *ANYONE ELSE* earlier in any other match.
The bell rings and the 6 of them just kinda stare at each other. Hulk goes over the rules of wrestling quickly with Mr. T, who up until about 5 minutes ago thought this was a boxing match. Hulk and Orndoff are poised to start, the lights go back to where we forget there are living humans in the arena. Piper instead steps in, Hulk does some pointing, and Mr. T chooses to switch in too. So, we go to those two to start.
Nose-to-nose stareoff between the two, some slaps, it’s quickly getting slightly homoerotic. Piper makes some actual wrestling moves and the match begins.
Side Note
We give David Arquette so much shit for basically killing WCW, or Dennis Rodman and Jay Leno. We criticize and thumb our nose anytime a celebrity gets in the ring. Yet we forget, Mr. T was literally in the main event of the first Wrestlemania, the biggest event in wrestling. And somehow nobody batted an eye about it.
Back to the rewatch of the match
Muhammad Ali is the outside ref, and Pat Patterson does an awful job inside as the 4 fighters are in the ring at the same time often. Hulk does a lot of poses. Eventually, he gives a huge big boot to Piper that knocks him out of the ring, something I wish he’d have done more often to his opponents. Also, Hulk is 32 during this fight, and good lord I no longer feel bad about my inability to walk up steps without heavy breathing. Mr. T. does a good job during the match, but you can see Orndoff and Piper are carrying him. Piper is the real star, but Orndoff and Hogan were also always great to watch. Snuka and Orton eventually find their way into the ring to interfere, and Orton ends up hitting Orndoff by accident which leads to Hogan getting the cover and the win.
Piper knocks out Patterson after, then storms away. Mr. T checks on Paul Orndoff as a sign of sportsmanship, who gets up defensively. Muhammad Ali gets in the ring, finally. The Real American finally hits and we get the first of what would be roughly 9 straight years of Hogan posing at the end of Wrestlemania.
Winner: Hulk Hogan and Mr. T.
Final Thoughts
This was the beginning of the golden era of wrestling. Hulkamania may have started when he pinned the Iron Shiek, but this was what brought wrestling mainstream. While it would have been nice to see Hulk defend the belt, it made sense to use celebrities to showcase what the WWF was trying to do. It was something that worked out in the end for Vince McMahon, as we are now almost 40 years further from the beginning and still celebrate every year what is ultimately known as Wrestlemania season.
Thanks for reading! For more sports content, visit Belly Up Sports and follow me on X, @RyanCapalbo.
