<\/figure>How is it that the Cincinnati Bengals have become the least relevant professional sports team in Ohio? The Browns are everyone’s bandwagon team this year. The Cleveland Cavaliers have fallen back into mediocrity without Lebron James, but they were on top of the NBA for years with him. The Indians made it back to the World Series. The Bengals are less exciting than Ohio State’s football program and less interesting than the Cincinnati Bearcat’s basketball program.<\/p>
That all sucks, and I feel bad for the fans. But honestly, I’m glad Mike Brown is in this situation. It’s one of his own makings. He’s the all-powerful entity that controls this team’s destiny, and he is very bad at his job.<\/p>
Mike Brown is an awful lot like Donald Trump. He doesn’t deserve the position that he inherited, but he’s convinced that he got there all on his own. If he wasn’t Paul Brown’s son, he’d just be some old fogey stuck in a middle management job. He’d get passed over for promotion after promotion, and he’d go home to complain to his wife as she sits in silent contempt.<\/p>
Mike Brown is 83 years old. You might hope that he’ll give up the team soon, selling it to someone that can use it as more than a vanity project. However, we should never assume that a mediocre old white man would ever cede ownership of a football franchise willingly. He will somehow figure out a way to preserve his brain, stick it in a robot, and hold the fanbase hostage as he demands a new stadium to increase ticket sales. We will be stuck with robot Mike Brown for the next 100 years. <\/p>
If Daniel Snyder didn’t exist, Brown would be the de facto crappiest owner in the league. It’s a closer race than we give it credit for.<\/p>
Last year the Cincinnati Bengals went 6-10, after starting 4-1. This year, they’ll go 5-11 with no chance to make the playoffs. Keep an eye out for the next GBU Rankings article to see if your team is next!<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There\u2019s good and bad to find everywhere, but breaking down what\u2019s ugly about everyone else\u2019s team is what keeps us feeling superior as fans. Good, Bad, and Ugly Rankings are here to remind you that your team is just as ugly as the rest of them. Next on the list, the Cincinnati Bengals. Will recent changes deliver an exciting new chapter for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":116,"featured_media":18546,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[2224,2230,2231,2232,2233],"class_list":["post-18355","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-nfl","tag-clint-boling","tag-zac-taylor","tag-a-j-green","tag-tyler-eifert","tag-mike-brown"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
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