Welcome to the first installment of the Not Your Usual MLB Hall of Fame Profile series, in which every player listed on the 2022 MLB Hall of Fame ballot will be cut up and shredded in way that only I can. Or maybe Jayson Stark, but since I’m not Jayson Stark, you’re stuck with me. Anyway, first up, because I arbitrarily decided to do these alphabetically, is Bobby Abreu.
Nickname:
El Come Dulce or La Leche (seriously? SERIOUSLY?? Your nicknames are The Sweet Eater or Milk??? Who comes up with this shit???)
Teams Played For:
Houston Astros (1997), Philadelphia Phillies (1998-2006), New York Yankees (2006-2008), LA Angels (2009-2011), LA Dodgers (2012), New York Mets (2014).
Transactions:
Abreu was selected by Tampa Bay in the 1998 expansion draft but traded to Philadelphia for, checks notes, Kevin Stocker. Yeah, that trade worked out well. He was then traded in a trade deadline move by the Phillies to the Yankees along with someone who couldn’t fly a plane in New York City (Cory Lidle) for, checks notes, three minor leaguers who made exactly ZERO appearances with the Phillies and a 27 year old reliever (Matt Smith) who made 23 appearances with the team, including a brutal 2007 season in which he made 9 appearances, totaling four innings pitched, five runs allowed, four hits, and walked 11. Yes, he walked almost THREE batters an inning. Way to get value there Philadelphia.
The Boring Shit (aka the Stats and Awards Section):
- .291/.395/.475 (128 OPS+), 2470 career hits, 288 career home runs, 400 career steals, 60.2 WAR
- 2-time All-Star (2004, 2005), 1-time Gold Glove (2005), 1-time Silver Slugger (2004)
- Led league in games played twice, doubles once, and triples once. Led majors in walks once (2006).
Previous Hall Of Fame Voting Results:
2020: 5.5%, barely staying on the ballot
2021: 8.7%, going up but still very far away from the Hall.
Why Bob Abreu Should Be in the Hall of Fame:
I mean come on, you know you want to see a Hall of Fame plaque up there with someone with the nickname “Milk” or “The Sweet Eater”. How epic would that be? Abreu would also be listed second alphabetically among the inductees after the great Henry Aaron, so he’ll have that going for him. He’s one of just 43 players all-time to reach the 30/30 club, and just one of 13 to do it more than once. He did have that one epic postseason series in 2009 against the Red Sox where he slashed .556/.692/.778 over the three-game series. Too bad they don’t award MVPs for Divisional Series though.
Why Bob Abreu Shouldn’t Be in the Hall of Fame:
He was traded for Kevin Stocker. Stocker hit .237/.322/.330 in his three seasons after being traded. Yeah, I know that’s not Bob’s fault, but if an EXPANSION team thinks he’s less valuable than this guy when he’s the type of player an expansion team SHOULD be playing, then a Hall of Famer he is not. He was also too passive at the plate. Like dude, swing the bat. Taking almost 1500 walks in his career prevented him from reaching that magical 3,000 hit club. He couldn’t find 530 more hittable pitches to get to 3000 base hits?
If you want to debate this or any other potential Hall of Fame vote, or if you want to talk sports in general, catch me on Twitter. Keep in mind that these profiles are meant to be sort of tongue in cheek, and I will eventually reveal who I would vote for (if I had a vote). Check out the other content here at Belly Up Sports.
