I was sitting on my couch at about 5:50 last night when Max Fried came into the game. That’s when I saw the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. My heart started to race, I got a little sweaty, my shorts got a little shorter. I was in love.
I hate to watch you go but i love to see you leave that hand. Isn’t that the most beautiful thing you ever laid eyes on. Look at those curves the way she floats to the plate is just mesmerizing. Not to fast and not to slow just moving at that perfect speed you can’t take your eyes off of.
I think I may have been Immaculately impregnated last night, right through my TV screen. You can’t look at these videos and tell me that his curve was not created by a higher power. Max Fried is a miracle worker and this was his greatest performance. He may not be able to turn water into wine or heal paralysis. But he can have the most beautiful thing in the history of this planet leave his hand.
The way she avoids other men maybe her greatest attribute. She is just flirtatious enough to make you think you have a chance, but you never do. Whenever she comes your way you take your best shot, but she leaves you spinning around with your stick in your hand, with no clue what happened. Maybe next time slugger but probably not. I know if I was given the chance, I would strike out and be left embarrassed if I tried.
Just look at that how could you not fall in love. Menelaus sent a thousand ships to get back Helen of Troy. I would be willing to take a razor scooter to the ankle to keep Max Fried’s curveball around forever. Max Fried, will your curveball marry me?
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