I was in high school when a friend of a friend begged us to join him in a program he was highly enthusiastic about. My friend and I walked into what was described as an “opportunity” meeting. It was an amazing-looking building with bright, shiny lights. Everyone was smiling and invested in every word uttered by the podium speaker. Ultimately, they aggressively tried to get my buy-in to the opportunity (join the team and pay for the services). It was my first introduction to the world of pyramid schemes. The plot is familiar to 21st-century Dallas Cowboys fans.
The Dallas Cowboys began a similar pyramid scheme when they took the moniker of America’s Team as a trademark in 1992. The early investors (top of the pyramid) reaped early dividends with three Super Bowls. Investments into the biggest stadium with the largest television in the world soon followed. Everything is bigger in Texas. Quarterbacks like Tony Romo and Dak Prescott basked in the Dallas glow while legions of fans convinced others to hop on the bandwagon. The 48-32 thrashing the Green Bay Packers handed to the Cowboys on Sunday night felt like the bottom of the pyramid.
Dallas Cowboys Lose Again
I am DONE with these gutless, heartless, playoff frauds.pic.twitter.com/IKYYHb2HZD
— Skip Bayless (@RealSkipBayless) January 15, 2024
The Dallas Cowboys had not lost a game at home all season. The Packers had one of the youngest teams in the league. The Cowboys had seven Pro Bowlers to the Packers’ zero. Dallas Cowboys receiver CeeDee Lamb enjoyed arguably the most outstanding season as a receiver in Cowboys history. Optimism was at an all-time high. So, how did Green Bay eliminate the Cowboys from the Wild Card playoff round?
Bad Offense. Bad Defense.
The answer was a demoralizing first half. The offense, especially the connection between Prescott and Lamb, seemed out of sync. Additionally, the Cowboys continually gave up big plays, resulting in touchdowns. Green Bay Packers receiver Romeo Doubs gained the most receiving yards in his young career. Quarterback Jordan Love only missed on five of his 21 pass attempts and had zero turnovers and sacks. The vaunted Cowboys pass rush led by Micah Parsons only received a few holding penalties made irrelevant by the Packers’ second and third-down conversion rate. The first half ended with a Cowboys touchdown to avoid a 27-0 goose egg heading into the locker room.
The third quarter wasn’t much better. A field goal made it 27-10 Packers, but the Cowboys’ defense continued to give up touchdowns. Running Back Aaron Jones, the only 100-yard rusher in this game, scored to make it 34-10. A penalty on a Cowboys two-point conversion attempt turned it into a 48-yard missed PAT, which would have reduced the deficit to two possessions. Rookie tight end Luke Musgrave was left so open on a wheel route that no defenders even made it into the graphic on his catch and run for a touchdown.
😭😭😭😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/9qOK4xzM4K
— Reece (@DefaultReece) January 15, 2024
The Cowboys’ last 16 points mainly were window dressing. Another disappointing ending for “America’s Team.”
How To Know You’re In a Pyramid Scheme
Some people are so far gone that they cannot be reasoned with. However, maybe you don’t fall into that category. Perhaps you can step away from the Kool-Aid owner Jerry Jones is pouring and see the big picture. This is how to tell if you’re in a Dallas Cowboys pyramid scheme.
People Try to Recruit You
Every NFL offseason is a Dallas Cowboys opportunity meeting. Cowboys fans beam with excitement and seduce you with promises of Super Bowls. Do you ever stop to wonder WHY you’re a Cowboys fan? Is it because you remember how they played three decades ago? Brand new three-bedroom homes sold for $60,000 in the mid-90s. You could retire with a treasure trove of plush toys as your only assets in the mid-90s. Mid-90s things are a distant memory, and you shouldn’t continue to live in the past.
If you are younger, is it because your parents or older siblings were Dallas Cowboys fans? There is nothing illegal about choosing different allegiances. Ask those same people to re-recruit you into the fandom today and listen to what they say. Today’s tone may be markedly different after the Cowboys’ next winning streak. Maybe even after the draft and off-season personnel moves. If people have to point to data retained before your birth to convince you to climb aboard the Cowboys bandwagon, you might be involved with a pyramid scheme.
Empty Promises
Another telltale sign of pyramid schemes is empty promises. There are no demonstrated returns for people who are not at the top. Sure, the Dallas Cowboys will win the division championship now and again. The Houston Texans have the same number of division championships as the Cowboys since the Texans’ 2002 inception. I haven’t seen any Cowboys fans convert over to Houston’s side. Losing is ingrained in the Cowboys’ foundation, yet they will continue to sell you on unrealistic dreams of the mountaintop, much like a pyramid scheme.
Meanwhile, the Cowboys’ valuation has ballooned to approximately $9 billion as of 2023. The top of the pyramid benefits by convincing the bottom that next year will be better.
So keep buying the jerseys, the stadium beer, and the propaganda that America’s Team sells if you choose to. A sucker is born every minute.
— Belly Up Sports Writer (NBA) (@thaherojoe) January 15, 2024
Photo Credit for featured cover image: Getty Images.
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