My Wrestlemania rewatch of I and II was something I knew I would need to have tempered expectations with. Wrestling was in the very early years of its pop-culture relevance and Vince McMahon was still working out the kinks. The lighting in the arenas could have been enhanced with even the smallest of Hulk Hogan-themed night lights. It had yet to become this monster event that it is today, the Super Bowl of wrestling. There were glimpses of what would be to eventually come, mainly both ending with Hulk Hogan posing. In my quest to fulfill my adult desire for beer-enhanced nostalgia, Wrestlemania III is where the true childhood memories are unlocked.
The Legacy of Hulkamania Begins
Watching Hulkamania VHS tapes as a kid is one of my greatest memories. While I was raised in the mid-90s and attitude era WWF/E and am a devout HBKstan, Hulk Hogan tapes were my guilty pleasure, even if I was only 8 and didn’t know what that phrase meant. It would be Wrestlemania III that truly would be a mainstay in my rewatch repertoire, forcing my Dad to rent the VHS over and over. Why we didn’t just buy it, I don’t know. We had every single Disney movie in those chunky-ass VHS boxes, but Wrestlemania III was constantly on replay in our refrigerator-sized VCR, with a “return to Blockbuster” sticker on its edge.
So while it may not be on a VHS tape, this is the Wrestlemania I have been looking forward to. This is the one that truly (in my humble opinion) created the lasting legacy of Wrestlemania. This one was right in the sweet spot of WWF 80’s popularity. It didn’t need to rely on celebrity cameos to sell it, but instead on the biggest star in Wrestling, Hulk Hogan. Hulkamania was running wild already, but it truly took off to the levels we remember at this event.
Beer Choice
With each rewatch I continue my quest to find a beer that is somehow tied into the event. For this one, I went with Sam Adams’s Breakaway Blonde Ale. How is this relevant? Well as I said before, Hulk Hogan and Hulkamania truly began to break away with this Wrestlemania. I think one of Hulk’s defining factors is his beach blonde locks.
Sam Adams is my all-time favorite beer, so I was excited to try this. With a 6 pack on sale, this was the perfect situation for me to give it a whirl. I love blonde beers, but this drinks more as a Summer ale. This is great because as Summer quickly approaches, this is a beer I think I’ll be drinking quite often as the grill goes and I annoy my neighbors with WWF theme songs blasting. 7.9 based on absolutely no actual ranking system.
Wrestlemania III
With wrestling now as popular as it was, McMahon was able to utilize Hulkamania to sell out even bigger arenas. The main event for this one would be the first true legendary match. The first Wrestlemania main event was basically a gimmick match and the second could have been done on a Saturday night house show. Wrestlemania III is, to this day, one of the first ones people will think of at the mere mention of Wrestlemania. The build-up was huge and the payoff was palpable. We’d move away from New York for the first time and go to Detroit. The Pontiac Silverdome would be the sight of the largest indoor attendance ever (allegedly) with over 93,000 people. The lights of Wrestlemania finally were shining the brightest. Literally… compared to I and II, you could actually see the action.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Begins
We start with overhead views of the arena, people quickly shuffling to their seats, and the arena looking almost like it’s outside thanks to the fiberglass roof.
America The Beautiful: Aretha Franklin
Sadly, it’s clear Mean Gene Okerlund will never sing again to start a Wrestlemania. Instead, we’re once again treated to a legend at a piano singing America The Beautiful while a montage of American images is shown sporadically. Unlike with Ray Charles the year before, with mountains and flags and the military, Aretha is saddled with images of traffic and people in cubicles. Not even Hulk Hogan pointing at the flag. It was a great rendition, but Ray definitely had the stronger montage. Again, not that he ever got to see it.
Celebrity Announcements
We begin with the always-welcome tandem of Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura as our announcers. Joining them are Mary Hart, the woman who made Kramer have seizures, and Bob Uecker. Seeing Bob Uecker there immediately adds a level of esteem for this event. This is Harry Doyle, the Cleveland Indians’ greatest play-by-play man of all time. As the biggest Major League fan ever, even as a child, this was huge to me. It just furthered my admiration for the man.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 1: The Can-Am Connection (Rick Martel and Tom Zenk) vs. “The Magnificent” Muraco and “Cowboy” Bob Orton w/Mr. Fuji
Bob Orton makes his third Wrestlemania appearance and somehow this is the first time we see him wrestle. I don’t know anything about the lead-up to this match, and seeing Rick Martel without his “model” gimmick is odd. Also seeing a cowboy character being managed by Mr. Fuji is not very realistic, at least based on what I know from watching the show Deadwood. Monsoon talks up the Can-Am connection throughout the match, and they move a lot quicker than their opponents, controlling the majority of the match.
It’s a great change being able to see the crowd though as opposed to the first two Wrestlemanias. Orton is thrown out of the ring at one point and you see people stand up and flip him off immediately. The crowd adds to the overall feel of Wrestlemania right from the start. The Can-Am connection eventually wins, fighting in the ring at the same time to pretty much trip Muraco into a pinfall.
Winner: The Can-Am Connection
Interview 1
We get a little montage about the lead-up to this match followed by Mean Gene making his first appearance. He interviews Hercules and Heenan, who don’t seem too interested in this particular match. He does call Billy Jack (Hercules’s eventual opponent) Billy Jerk a few times, and even when phoning it he’s great.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 2: Hercules w/Bobby “The Brain” Heenan vs. Billy Jack Haynes
We get our first look at one of the greatest inventions to ever grace the WWF screen: The moving mini-rings that transported the stars from the back. Neither wrestler had entrance music, but their intros were amplified thanks to those ring carts. The match itself was alright, just two muscular dudes going at each other. Billy Jack was never very memorable to me, and unfortunately these days his biggest claim to fame is outside the ring. At least OJ was a great running back, Billy Jack was never anything special. The match was billed as a “full-nelson” match, meaning each wanted to get the other to lose by way of that hold. Billy Jack did get it, but it was outside the ring, and he held it while the ref counted them both out. Hercules does whip Haynes with his chain after, very similar to Ralphie and Georgie in The Sopranos.
Winner: Double count out
Interview 2
Mean Gene and King Kong Bundy, last year’s main eventer. Bundy is standing with his two midget partners, one British and one Asian. He yells at the camera, scares one of his partners, and we cut away.
We then go to Hillbilly Jim with his two midget partners, an African-American and a native American. WWF checked off all the necessary ethnicity boxes to cancel any outrage at the pure idea of this match.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 3: Mixed Tag Match: King Kong Bundy, Lord Littlebrook, and Little Tokyo vs. Hillbilly Jim, The Haiti Kid and Little Beaver
What hilarious chain of events led to this match happening is beyond me, but I’d really love to have seen the build. If there was no build, then just the WWF execs doing lines of coke and saying “fuck it, midgets!” It’s a “mixed” tag match because 4 out of 6 are midgets. Those four start the fight and honestly, the wrestling isn’t too bad. The Haiti kid was in Mr. T’s corner the year before, so he’s technically a Wrestlemania veteran. With 93,000 people, if you were sitting in the last row you had absolutely no idea what was happening. You’d have needed to stack 3 binoculars on top of each other to get even a minuscule of a peek. Even then, it was probably akin to watching ants fighting for a single crumb.
The rule for this match was the “regular” sized wrestlers could not fight the midgets. This doesn’t stop the midgets from hitting Bundy a few times, even drop-kicking him. This inevitably leads to Bundy slamming one of them to ultimately lose.
Winner: Hillybilly Jim, The Haiti Kid, and Little Beaver. Plus anyone who finds midgets funny.
Interview 3
Mary Hart reappears with Miss Elizabeth, asking if she feels trepidatious. Macho Man then comes out repeating the word trepidatious. This was a clear attempt on his part to not have to acknowledge that he doesn’t know what that word means.
Interview 4
Harley Race, Bobby Heenan, and… Fabulous Moolah. Moolah is here to “crown” the king because she pimp-slapped her way to being queen I guess? Unsure.
The Junkyard Dog is interviewed and says he’ll win “just as sure as I’m black and the day’s sunny.” Immediately the best Wrestlemania line ever uttered to this point.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 4: “Loser Must Bow” Match: Junkyard Dog vs. “King” Harley Race w/Bobby “The Brain” Heenan and Fabulous Moolah
Junkyard Dog is such an underrated wrestler, and his entrance music deserves more appreciation. While the 80s were ruled by Hogans music, JYD’s is a banger too. He is also incredibly over with the crowd every time he fights, including here. Harley Race is an all-time great, but he shouldn’t have won this one. The match ends quickly and with a whimper. JYD is distracted and gets pinned. The stipulation is that the loser bows to the winner. That goes about as well as you’d expect, with JYD hitting Race with a chair instead. Moolah stands in the ring the entire time, but unfortunately, she is never hit with the chair. JYD steals Race’s purple royal cloak and triumphantly leaves.
Winner: Harley Race and Fabulous Moolah (for staying relevant)
Interview 5
Vince handles this one, in the back with Hulk Hogan. Hulk is so amped up that he rips his shirt off an hour before his match. He drops about 43 “brother’s” and mentions prayers and vitamins, as well as 24-inch pythons. This was peak Hogan 80’s promo.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 5: The Rougeau Brothers vs. The Dream Team (Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine) w/”Luscious” Johnny V and Dino Bravo
Not sure why The Dream Team required an entourage, but they packed their ring cart like a clown car. Brutus Beefcake was beginning to dress like the Barber character he’s most known for (foreshadowing!). This was basically a rehash from the year before. Just sub out the British Bulldogs for the Rougeau Bros. Beefcake and Valentine argue most of the match, and Bravo interferes to help Valentine get the pin. Beefcake gets left behind at the beginning of his rapid face turn.
Winners: The Dream Team
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 6: Hair Match: Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. “Adorable” Adrian Adonis w/Jimmy Hart
We’re treated to a montage before this match showing the build-up. Adonis comes down carrying hedge clippers, prepared to cut Piper’s hair. This is also announced as Piper’s retirement match, win or lose. The match starts with haymakers being thrown and Adonis getting tossed around. As big as he was, Adonis was definitely light on his toes. No, that’s not innuendo. Though if his character existed today, there’d surely be an uproar over which locker room he should use.
This is another instance where seeing the crowd’s reactions enhances the match. The people are behind Piper, unlike Wrestlemania’s past, where he was the bad guy. Jimmy Hart interferes eventually, spraying Piper with some weird liquid mist, and Adonis puts him in a sleeper. Adonis drops Piper’s arm before it falls a 3rd time, like DeSean Jackson with the ball on the 1. While prematurely celebrating, Brutus Beefcake runs out and wakes Piper up. Piper then slaps Adonis in a sleeper and wins. We get to watch Beefcake then shave Adonis’ head while Piper holds Hart down. Brutus becomes a barber right in front of our eyes this night, and Adonis leaves in shame.
Winner: “Rowdy” Roddy Piper
Side Note: Some guy jumped the barrier and congratulated Piper, it’s fun watching security basically swarm him in the background. Is he alive? Who knows. It’s not mentioned on screen.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 7: The Hart Foundation and Danny Davis w/Jimmy Hart vs. The British Bulldogs and Tito Santana
Danny Davis was apparently a corrupt ref, who was suspended from refereeing and became a wrestler. He screwed the Bulldogs and Santana out of their titles. This is actually a great gimmick that they should use today. But instead of a kayfabe wrestling ref, let’s get an NFL ref. Those guys are crooked as hell. Next time one “misses” a blatant Chiefs holding call or throws a ghost flag, WWE should call them. They’d have immediate heat the moment they step in the ring. The promos would be fire, just talking about how much they make off the gambling racket Roger Goodell has allowed.
Davis gets his ass kicked by everyone a bit, which is a crown pleaser. Yet in the end, he hits Davey Boy with Jimmy Hart’s megaphone and gets the cover. As usual, no matter how corrupt, in the end, the referees get away with whatever they want.
Winners: The Hart Foundation, Danny Davis, and Roger Goodell
Interview 7
Bobby the Brain and Andre The Giant with Mean Gene. Some historical rewrites are done, as The Brain says Andre hasn’t lost in 15 years. Andre does his part and just stares menacingly at the camera. Mean Gene sells it with his usual excited tone.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 8: “The Natural” Butch Reed w/Slick vs. Koko B. Ware
I have seen Slick since I was a kid, yet I still am unsure what his gimmick is. Was he a pimp? If so, was he pimping out the wrestlers? Again, if so, to whom? Just so much unanswered regarding his character. I was also never a huge Koko B. Ware fan, but he was entertaining to watch come out. Gets the crowd riled up but that’s about it, and Reed isn’t much either. Overall, a slow match with two guys I never cared too much for. Tito Santana comes out after the match and strips Slick of his clothes before Slick retreats to the back. I genuinely am unsure what I just watched during this match.
Winner: “The Natural” Butch Reed
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 9: Intercontinental Championship: Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat w/George “The Animal” Steele vs. Macho Man Randy Savage (C) w/Miss Elizabeth
We get a recap of this feud prior to the match. Turns out George The Animal is still obsessed with Miss Elizabeth and kidnaps her at some point. Also, Macho Man basically has crushed Steamboat’s throat with a ringbell. Tensions are high, and we get a quick Macho Man promo. Steamboat gets one too, half of which is drowned out by crowd noise and music (this is for the best).
This is considered by many to be one of the greatest matches in the history of Wrestlemania. I understand the hype, the match itself is great. The two go back and forth, it is fast-paced, and there’s plenty of drama throughout. I just am not a fan of the finish, as Macho Man is the bad guy, and he loses because of the ref being knocked out. He should have won and instead ends up being put into a reverse small package to lose the title. Steamboat should’ve won the match outright, helping to push him. Minus that, the rest of the match was phenomenal.
Winner: Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat
Side note: I’m the biggest fan of the winged eagle WWF Championship belt, and if I had money to throw away I’d have bought that by now. However, the more I see the classic Intercontinental title as an adult the more I realize it may be my favorite. If anyone out there is looking to buy me an unnecessary gift and has excess cash to throw away, I’m not against this belt.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 10: The Honkey Tonk Man w/Colonel Jimmy Hart vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts w/Alice Cooper and Damien
Aside from the announcers earlier, we have our first celebrity sighting! Unlike Ozzie Osbourne the year before, Alice Cooper seems to be lucid and aware of his surroundings. I also love how Jimmy Hart is now being referred to as “the Colonel” for this match. I used to find Honky Tonk’s gimmick funny as a kid, just an old Elvis impersonator holding onto the old days. Watching old WWF events though, once you realize Elvis was only about 10 years gone, it probably resonated a lot more at the time.
Honky Tonk cheats to win and then runs away before Roberts could knock him out with his guitar. Alice Cooper then gets involved, uses his noodle, and attacks Jimmy Hart with the snake. He does this while Roberts holds Hart in a full nelson for a long time. Had this been during the Hercules-Haynes match, Jake would’ve won handily.
Winner: Honky Tonk Man
Announcement
Mean Gene comes out to make a “special” announcement. No, he’s not going to sing the National Anthem, to the dismay of many. Instead, he lets the crowd know they’ve made history, setting the record for indoor attendance. 93,173 people would be the official number. Keep in mind that they also say Andre The Giant is about 7’10, so they’re not the best when it comes to numbers.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 11: The Iron Shiek and Nikolai Volkoff w/Slick vs. The Killer Bees
We’re treated to Volkoff trying to sing the Russian national anthem before the match but being interrupted by known mega patriot Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Pretty sure Corporal Kirchner ended the remaining animosity of the Cold War during Wrestlemania II, but Volkoff persisted, nonetheless. The match is pretty straightforward, we get some “U-S-A” chants throughout, and typical back-and-forth fighting. Duggan stays outside the ring the entire time, holding his 2×4 with a mini American flag attached.
The fight ends when The Shiek has one of the Killer Bees in a camel clutch, leading to Duggan interfering to break it. Once again, like Wrestlemania II, America cheats against the USSR (and Iran). Jim Duggan gets the crowd to ignore his mistake by pandering with a full-on “USA” chant and all is forgiven. Not sure who thought the US should cheat two years in a row against Russia during the height of the Cold War. Once again, Ronald Reagan shuddered.
Interview 8
Mean Gene interviews Andre The Giant and Bobby The Brain once again. Andre was never the best on the mic, but Heenan’s enthusiasm about beating Hogan is always good to see.
Another montage, this time spanning years to show the Hogan-Andre friendship turned feud. My favorite thing about this has always been the Pipers pit segment where Andre pulls Hogan’s crucifix off, causing a micro amount of blood but massive amount of backlash.
After, another Hogan interview. Shirtless now, after ripping his only one earlier, he goes off on a classic Hogan tirade. Also, his crucifix is back to normal.
Bob Uecker is announced as the guest ring announcer, and he gets a ride on the mini-ring cart. Deservedly so. He then announces Mary Hart as the timekeeper. We have three celebrities for this Wrestlemania, yet they’ve been announced eight times each. This is a far cry from the year before.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 12: Heavyweight Championship: Andre The Giant w/Bobby “The Brain” Heenan vs. Hulk Hogan (C)
This is it. The biggest match in the history of Wrestlemania. I might need another Blonde ale for this. The match that led 93,000 people to come to watch live. It always baffled me they couldn’t pick a song for Andre to come out to, instead just silence as he rolls out on the ring-cart. The place erupts as Hulk’s music hits, and he comes out with a new shirt on, choosing to walk instead of ring-cart roll. He also does his entrance poses and shirt rip as Andre just stands and stares blankly square in the middle of the ring.
The match begins with the most recognizable and significant stare-down in, arguably, wrestling history. Hulk goes for a body slam immediately and Andre falls right on him, leading to Andre controlling the match early. For all the crap Hogan takes from people, he sells this match. Andre at this point in his career wasn’t moving as well as he used to, but he still looked dominant. He had the ability to stand in one spot and still make Hogan look weak.
Andre gets Hogan in a bear hug and looks like he’s about to end Hulkamania. Hulk’s arm drops twice but on the third, he shows life and begins his eventual comeback. Andre knocks him down a few more times, sending him out of the ring at one point. Hogan exposes the concrete outside and goes to, I think piledrive (?) Andre, but is instead victim to the slowest reverse back body drop ever. They get back in the ring and the legend of Wrestlemania is about to be born.
Hulkamania
Andre goes for the big boot and misses, resulting in Hogan clotheslining him and knocking him down. As Andre slowly gets up, Hulk gives us the classic head shake and Hulking up. It’s in this moment that Wrestlemania would forever be etched into the zeitgeist of history. Hulk Hogan would body slam Andre the Giant, resulting in one of the greatest moments in pro-wrestling history. A leg drop would follow and then the 1-2-3. Hulk Hogan wins the match and retains his title. The obvious Hulk poses follow, but they feel necessary on this night.
Winner: Hulk Hogan and Hulkamania in general
Final Thoughts
The first two Wrestlemanias relied heavily on celebrities, and McMahon clearly struggled at times to find his footing. The results were slow-paced (and poorly lit) affairs. This was the first year where wrestling and its biggest star were all that was necessary to sell the event. 93,000 people were in attendance on this night. The main event delivered one of the biggest moments (still to this day) in wrestling history. There’s a reason I would rewatch this often as a kid, it was pure Hulkamania at its finest. This was the year that Wrestlemania set the stage for what would become the annual megaevent it is today. I don’t think Hulkamania lasts as long as it did or gained the popularity it did if not for this moment. Hulk slamming Andre will forever be a moment that lives in any wrestling fan’s head.
Now, time to figure out what the hell beer I’ll drink for Wrestlemania 4.
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