I wanted to write something about Father’s Day but I didn’t want to go with a typical list of the best TV Dads or something like that. For the record, the answer to who’s the #1 TV father of all time, which is also who’s the best overall father of all time, is Al Bundy. See, we already knew the answer, so where’s the fun in that. This is a list about the top 5 Fathers, literally. Keep reading, you’ll get it and most certainly love it.
#5 Father Mulcahy
If you were born any time after 1990, you have no idea who Father Mulcahy is or what show he was on. Well, I was born in ’86 and I know, all too well, who Father Mulcahy is. I don’t want to get into semantics, but MASH is easily one of the greatest shows of all time even though young people probably would think it’s terrible because there are actual jokes and the humor isn’t based on awkward conversations. Father Mulcahy was the pastor for the fighting 4077 M.A.S.H unit that was stationed in Korea on the show MASH. Though he was a man of God, he fit in extremely well with the constant shenanigans of Hawkeye Pierce, Trapper John, and BJ Hunnicutt.
When anyone in the 4077 needed someone to speak to about how to resolve eternal struggle, Father Mulcahy was there. His wisdom and charity was one of the reasons the M.A.S.H Unit were able to succeed. Also, Father Mulcahy had amateur boxing training meaning that he could knock you out, sort of.
William Christopher, the man who played the role of Father Mulcahy, passed away in 2016. He will not be soon forgotten. To me, I think he is the most famous TV Priest ever. Perhaps I’m forgetting an obvious one or two, but maybe I’m not.
#4 The GodFather
The Godfather was flat out fun, during the Attitude Era of the WWE. For a guy who was only a mid-carder for the #1 wrestling organization, The Godfather is one of the more memorable characters of that time period. There’s one all-encompassing reason for that and it wasn’t because The Godfather was a ring technician or had supreme mic skills. It was because The Godfather was portraying a pimp, which is illegal in the great country of the USA, and would usher out his stable in what would be affectionately called a ho-train and nobody thought this was problematic. That’s why he’s remembered. That’s it. Good enough to make the list and get into the WWE Hall of Fame. Ultimately, what a time to be alive.
#3 San Diego Padres
The San Diego Padres are the fathers of the MLB. I don’t want to say that these fathers are failing in their duty by not taking MLB behind the shed teaching them a lesson but the Padres should have stepped in and enforced their wishes upon everyone and gotten baseball back on the field at this point. This is the only multiple father’s entries on this pristine list. The Padres make the list because they’re an actual team full of fathers. There’s strength in numbers.
#2 Founding Fathers
I understand that without the Founding Fathers, America wouldn’t really exist. But #2 is where they fall and you’ll understand why in a bit. You can split hairs all day on who is a Founding Father, but the main guys are George Washington, Alexander Hamilton, Benjamin Franklin, John and Sam Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and John Jay(not Rambo, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Rambo is involved.) These guys were tired of being ruled over by England and decided that it was time to Peace Out. They began the Revolutionary War, won that, and made The Constitution. These guys were the ultimate badasses who weren’t afraid to get their hands dirty. I’m glad they did because, without their efforts, I wouldn’t be sitting here on a Saturday night letting you know that they placed second on my list of all-time Fathers.
#1 Father Time
I feel this is a no-brainer. The most influential thing in all of our existence is time. So, how could there be a higher father than Father Time? There can’t be is the answer. We know, from the wide world of sports, that Father Time is undefeated. If you were to bring in the rest of the world along with those who compete in sports, that would make Father Time Infinity-0. Michael Jordan is 6-0 in Finals and that’s to admire. But, no individual has the stats that Father Time does. Andre the Giant got close with his 15-year undefeated streak. But even he, eventually, fell. Father Time is undefeated and he’s coming for us all. A harsh reality, but a reality none the less.
I don’t think it’s a stretch that Father Time can control time as if he has the Eye of Agamotto. That’s a pretty good tool to have especially when his wife, Mother Nature, is nagging him to do more around the house.
By the Way- If you clicked on this blog because of the picture of Al Bundy, well, don’t feel bad. Feel good, that Al was in our lives in the first place.
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