Oh, Dion. Dion, Dion, Dion. What are the Heat going to do with you?
Dion Waiters has been suspended by the Miami Heat.
Again.
It’s the third time.
This season.
It’s not even Christmas yet.
According to spotrac.com the Miami Heat holds the second-largest dollar amount for fines and suspensions this season behind the Phoenix Suns. The total is $1,420,621.00 for four infractions in total. The amount that doesn’t belong to Waiters? $2000.00 in technical foul fines.
Waiters’ First Suspension – One Game, $83,448.00
Waiters’ first suspension came before the 2019-20 NBA season even started. Reportedly, Waiters did not handle himself well at the end of the Heat’s final preseason game. Pat Riley made the following statement regarding the suspension:
There were a number of unacceptable incidents this week, culminating with his unprofessional conduct on the bench last night. As a consequence, I feel we had to suspend him.
SB Nation also reported that Waiters made comments on a fan’s social media account badmouthing his coach and teammates. Unsurprisingly, those comments are no longer available. Thank goodness for screenshots. Am I right?
A Different Kind of Mile-High Club – 10 Games, $834,483.00
Suspension number two for Waiters came not a month later on November 10th. This time it was more than the ‘meltdown’ that got him his first suspension. According to ESPN, Waiters had a THC induced panic attack while on the team’s plane. This time, it would be 10 games Waiters would sit out.
It almost goes without saying that NBA Twitter had a field day.
Waiters’ mom was vocal about the incident adamantly insisting that the report was fake news. Regardless of it if was true or not, I always learn something about a man who’s mama is willing to publically defend her boy in this way. Maybe it’s not fair but it definitely leaves an impression. And not a good one.
Check Me Out, I’m Seasick – Six Games $500,690.00
Calling Waiters’ latest suspension his third strike is putting it very very generously. Especially as when he was suspended the first time, it was reported that there had been several infractions leading up to the disciplinary action.
But if the phrase, “the third time’s a charm”, is alluding to the concept that the third time you try something it just might be the most impactful… well, Waiters certainly proved that rule. His most recent suspension is beyond BUSDA worthy.
I keep a running list of people whose loved ones should keep them off social media by any means necessary. I’m talking about desperate measures. Take their phone away. Hack their account and change their password. Even delete their accounts if necessary. There’d be no reason to feel guilty. It’s for their own good, after all.
Donald Trump and Kanye West have long topped that list for me. Dion Waiters has just landed himself with this ignominious company. This time, Waiters reportedly called in sick and then posted himself on Instagram living it up on a boat.
Insert facepalm here.
More Than Meets the Eye?
It’s possible that Waiters’ antics come down to playing time. It’s been suggested that this was the reason behind the bad behaviour from his first suspension in the preseason. Now, between the play of rookie teammates Tyler Herro and Kendrick Nunn and having been suspended for so many games, basketball-reference.com doesn’t even have a stat-line for Waiters this season. He averaged 26 minutes and 12 points per game last season.
Thinking about Waiters’ behaviour of late makes me imagine what could be going on in his head. I can’t help but wonder, “Is Dion Waiters pulling a fast one the Miami Heat front office, Coach Spoelstra and all of us?” I’ve known someone for many years whose inner voice is very very vocal. He describes this voice as belonging to a belligerent 12 to 14-year-old smartass. I wonder if Waiters has a similar voice?
“You Really G’on Sit Me!?”
Oh, word? That’s how you gon’ do me? Play me behind these puppies? That’s disrespec! A’ight, a’ight, a’ight. Imma see who rollin’ wit me on this one.
“@super_heat_305 lol I would win to if I had Bron & wade plus bosh.”
Oh, he still on that BS, huh? Time for my own special version of the mile-high club. G’on, suspend me again.
Oh, where’s the party? Nah, I ain’t doing nothing. Lemme roll through.
Instagram caption: Check me out, I’m seasick.
Oh, you don’t want me no mo? Fine.
Just trade me.
We’re still going to award Waiters the Belly Up Sports Dunce Award. But we’re doing it with the full knowledge that the dunce may just be on us. Dion Waiters might just have pulled off the ultimate eff you.
Follow me @auxiliarythings for basketball musings and live tweets during NBA games.
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