[Parody warning] EA Sports announced earlier today a push to break into the MLB eSports market with their game, MVP Baseball 2020. This will be the first addition to the EA Sports baseball franchise in 13 years since MVP Baseball 2007.
COO and VP of EA Sports, Daryl Holt, said that he was, “Excited to provide users with the most realistic experience to date”. To that end, Holt announced that disgraced former manager Alex Cora and current player Jose Altuve have signed on as consultants. Jeff Luhnow, former Houston Astros General Manager, will join the team in a few days. The video game giant has approached Pete Rose and Alex Rodriguez to serve in similar roles.
Belly Up Sports were able to receive further information from a source involved in the project who wishes to remain anonymous. Here are some of the features of the upcoming game.
EA Sports Features
Steroids, Sign-Stealing and Speculating
In EA Sports’ exciting and revamped addition to the MVP Baseball franchise, choose your path to World Series glory. Get the complete big-league experience by choosing to invest in Biogenesis to create undetectable HGH (human growth hormones).
Or, hire a “consultant” to steal pitch signs in the outfield and relay them to your players via a variety of delivery methods. For the gritty, street-feel, select ‘trash can’. For emboldened users, there is also the ‘buzzer’ delivery system. Feel the controller buzz in your hands when, for example, Aroldis Chapman is about to throw a slider. Use that advantage to blast the pitch into the stratosphere. Careful when using this function in big moments as teammates may attempt to rip the jersey off the game-winning hitter, revealing your nefarious device.
Players can build their financial portfolios by betting on the outcome of the games they play. Users must only bet on their team to win. But feel free to use your inside information to hold off on backing your side when your star player is playing through sickness or injury. MVP Baseball also allows you to use historical methods of success to keep expenses down. The all-new ’80s mode enables users to cooperate (not collude) with other owners to save on player salaries.
EA Sports: Cheating – If it’s in the game, it’s in the game.
MVP Baseball 2020’s marketing slogan
All-New ‘Screw the Fans’ Feature
Sociology enthusiasts will be pleased with the new EA Sports social experiment feature. See how much you can raise ticket prices. While fielding a sub-par team before losing even the most passionate members of your fan-base. Placate your patrons with platitudes that ‘this will allow us to be competitive in the free-agent market’. Then use that extra cash-injection to instead pay for your new private jet while introducing your marquee free-agent signing, a retired goat-herder from Lithuania.
Although Holt refused to confirm the above features, he did make the following statement. “EA Sports has been the industry leader in slapping a different sticker on the same, tired product and charging users more money for it for decades. Therefore, this experience is sure to be the most realistic available to users on the market.”
Thanks for reading. Feel free to follow me on Twitter (@CanStrayan) here, follow Belly Up Sports on Twitter here and like and follow the Facebook page here.
