If a Duke player takes a flop on the hardwood, does anyone hear that he’s cheating? Not if you’re watching Dick Vitale call the game.
The Critic wrote about cheating earlier this year. Since then, being outraged about cheating is all the rage. For example, MLB cannot escape from the Astros cheating scandal. Instead of the usual Spring Training discussions about bullpens and platoons, everyone wants to talk about pounding on trash cans.
Respecting the Game
Meanwhile, we’ve all been watching Dookies flop for years. Flopping is cheating, folks. Still, it doesn’t cause that much of a stir. Oh, sure, every once in awhile Jim Boeheim will see a Duke flop, go krazy and start undressing on the court.
But Boeheim also goes nuts over other things as well as flops, so you might be tempted to take him with a shaker of salt. Especially since Duke supporters are actually eager to brag about their flops.
Back in 2008, a Duke fan posted on a message board that: “We take a lot of charges at Duke; our coach teaches this. Do ALL of the attempts to take charge work? NO. Some work, some don’t, some look better than others. That is part of the game at Duke.”
Well, mission accomplished. Duke has made the flop such a part of the game that it’s almost become background radiation. Flops are causing damage without anyone even noticing anymore.
In the Flop House
Back to the Astros scandal, which has every other major league player outraged. Why they themselves would never cheat. Or, at least not be dumb enough to get caught.
They’ve internalized the lesson taught by Hall of Famer Gaylord Perry. He’d run through a series of silly movements before every pitch, touching his hair, cap, ears, eyebrows, whatever. He did everything but flop out there.
But as he noted in his autobiography, he also didn’t tell his teammates how he cheated. After all, he played for eight MLB teams across his long career. When he himself wasn’t coming and going, his teammates were. He couldn’t afford to have a former teammate batting against him and knowing where he’d hidden the Vasoline.
Time to Flip Flop
The size and scope of the Astros cheating operation have some baseball insiders changing their tune. “I have no problem with cheating,” Joe Torre told the L.A. Times in 1990. “Whatever you can get away with. I mean, we’re not going and robbing stores or anything.”
Torre is holding a different hymnal these days. “I always want the ability on the field to determine who the winner is,” Torre says, now that he works for MLB’s commissioner’s office. “I just don’t think it’s a level playing field and it’s not good for our game.” That, folks, is a flip flop. Will we see any former Duke players repent of their flops?
A Future Flop
The Critic has a theory that, while flops help Duke to win college basketball championships, they hurt Duke players once they leave college. It sure seems as if Duke departees are punching below their weight in the NBA. For example, a few years ago, Bleacher Report ranked Elton Brand as the second-best NBA player to come out of Duke in the Coach K era.
Wow. THE Elton Brand?
Shane Battier, Carlos Boozer and Christian Laettner also made the Top-10. Of course, Laettner, “Was never able to live up to the legend he created for himself during his collegiate career,” the site added. Maybe because, once Coach K is no longer screaming at referees, they call the game straight and the Duke flop advantage disappears.
A Final Word
Speaking of flops, I recently learned that I am literally (and I am literally using that word correctly) mispronouncing the word “forte.”
Some pronounce it as “fort” as in Fort Wayne (named for Gen. “Mad Anthony” Wayne, and who wouldn’t want to be around a town named for a madman?). The Critic always goes with “fortay” as in “grande.” That’s a musical pronunciation, however, and is admittedly not the correct pronunciation. So it has to be said: Pronunciation isn’t my “fortay.”
If criticizing others is your forte, DM me @TheSportsCriti2.
