As a football fan, I’m excited for the return of the NFL. I’m also a pro wrestling fan and arguably the best thing about pro wrestling is the theme song for each wrestler. I have your definitive AFC preview matching a theme song for each team according to artists from their city/region. With apologies to Peter Gammons, let’s kick things off proper (pun intended).
Theme Song for Every AFC East Team
Buffalo: Goo Goo Dolls’ “Slide”
Will this be the season that the Bills “slide” into first place in the AFC East? Quarterback Josh Allen is improving and the Bills are built on one of the league’s best defenses. A combination of both could mean the Bills’ first division title since the Clinton administration.
Miami: Flo Rida’s “Good Feeling”
The Dolphins made some upgrades on defense by signing linebacker Kyle Van Noy and cornerback Byron Jones. Arguably, the biggest acquisition was drafting Alabama quarterback Tua Tagovailoa. He won’t play until later in the season, but Dolphins fans have a good feeling he’s the answer at quarterback.
New England: Godsmack’s “Nothing Comes Easy”
As long as Bill Belichick is the head coach, the Patriots will be contenders. Can they overcome the league’s toughest schedule, losses in free agency, and a slew of COVID opt-outs to keep their postseason streak going? As the song says, nothing comes easy.
New York Jets: New York Dolls’ “Jet Boy”
Aptly fitting of the name, the Jets’ hopes rest on the development of quarterback Sam Darnold. Although the Jets improved upon their offensive line woes, they lack talent at wide receiver. The defense, meanwhile, lost Jamal Adams (trade) and CJ Mosley (COVID opt-out).
Theme Song for Every AFC North Team
Baltimore: Billie Holiday’s “Fine and Mellow”
The Ravens literally ran roughshod over their opponents last season but were shocked in the divisional playoff. Management added some talent on offense to help quarterback Lamar Jackson improve his passing game. Life for head coach John Harbaugh is fine and mellow as long as all systems are operational.
Cincinnati: The Isley Brothers’ “Go for Your Guns”
Head coach Zac Taylor has his quarterback in Joe Burrow. The rookie will have plenty of weapons with running back Joe Mixon and wide receivers John Ross III, AJ Green, Tyler Boyd, and fellow rookie Tee Higgins. The offense will certainly be fun to watch.
Cleveland: Nine Inch Nails’ “Year Zero”
The Browns’ offense has threats with running back Nick Chubb and receivers Odell Beckham, Jr. and Jarvis Landry. The defense will also be solid with lineman Myles Garrett returning. The onus, though, will be on quarterback Baker Mayfield to step up.
Pittsburgh: Wiz Khalifa’s “Black and Yellow”
Ben Roethlisberger is back after an elbow injury cut his 2019 season short. The offense is loaded with running backs James Conner and Benny Snell to receivers JuJu Schuster-Smith and Diontae Spencer. Head coach Mike Tomlin hopes that the team can put everything together, but time might be running out for Big Ben.
Theme Song for Every AFC South Team
Houston: Kenny Rogers’ “The Gambler”
Head coach Bill O’Brien is gambling that his befuddling trade which sent wide receiver De’Andre Hopkins to Arizona will pay off. David Johnson has fellow back Duke Johnson to take the load off quarterback Deshaun Watson. On defense, the big question is if JJ Watt can play his first full season since 2018.
Indianapolis: The Jacksons’ “Can You Feel It?”
The shockwave of quarterback Andrew Luck retiring in the 2019 preseason reverberated into a suboptimal season. Head coach Frank Reich is confident his team can bounce back. The Colts signed quarterback Philip Rivers and added DeForest Buckner on defense to help the pass rush.
Jacksonville: Shinedown’s “Cut the Cord”
Head coach Doug Marrone has cut the cord with every first-round pick from 2013-2016. Nevertheless, the Jaguars still need to play games. Quarterback Gardner Minshew is entertaining off the field: can he be the leader the Jags need on the field? The defense is super young with cornerback CJ Henderson and linebacker K’Lavon Chaisson joining linebacker Myles Jack.
Tennessee: Justin Timberlake’s “Sauce”
The Titans hope that the momentum from their surprising 2019 playoff run carries into 2020. Quarterback Ryan Tannehill was rewarded with a big pay raise. He has support from running back Derrick Henry and wide receiver AJ Brown. The Titans signed edges Jadeveon Clowney and Vic Beasley in the hopes that they’ll get their pass rush going. Plenty of “sauce” on both sides of the ball.
Theme Song for Every AFC West Team
Denver: One Republic’s “Dreaming Out Loud”
The Broncos are dreaming out loud that Drew Lock is their quarterback going forward. They added running back Melvin Gordon and wide receiver Jerry Jeudy. Their season will depend on how the defense will do without all-everything linebacker Von Miller. He suffered a freak ankle injury in camp this past week.
Kansas City: Tech9ine’s “Everready”
The Chiefs are ever ready to defend their Super Bowl championship. The franchise kept their quarterback by rewarding Patrick Mahomes with a huge extension. They added running back Clyde Edwards-Helaire through the draft making them more dangerous offensively. On defense, they were able to sign lineman Frank Clark to an extension.
Las Vegas: The Killers’ “Hot Fuss”
The Silver and Black are making a hot fuss with a new stadium and a new city. The Raiders have lots of offensive weapons with running back Josh Jacobs, receiver Henry Ruggs, and tight end Darren Waller. They’ll only go as far as quarterback Derek Carr will lead them. Defensively, linemen Maxx Crosby and Clelin Ferrell look to improve on solid rookie campaigns.
Los Angeles Chargers: Red Hot Chili Peppers’ “If”
If quarterback Tyrod Taylor struggles, will we see draft pick Justin Herbert? Will the Chargers have an elite defense if defensive linemen Joey Bosa and Melvin Ingram continue their Pro Bowl-like play? If the Bolts can steal a few games, will they make the playoffs? Lots of “ifs” to be answered this season.
NFC theme songs for 2020 coming tomorrow.
What are your theme songs for each AFC team this season? Comment below or hit me up on Twitter, @WhoIsRyanMcC. Follow Belly Up Sports for additional football coverage. And don’t forget to check out my podcast, No Credentials Required, and my live show A-Round for the Weekend, each streaming weekly.
