Welcome back to Belly Up’s Over-Reactionary Coach’s Hot Seat Scale – or BUORCHSS for short. We’ve had more movement in the NFL hot seat scale this week. So much so that I’ve introduced a new scale: Toast. “What’s this new scale, Ryan?” you might ask. Let’s put it this way: if you’re in the Toast scale, you’ve been relieved of your duties as head coach. As of yesterday, we have our first coach in the Toast category and fans of this fanbase are probably none the happier. (And as always, if you need an explanation as to how this NFL hot seat scale works, check out my previous posts.)
Coach-for-Life
Zac Taylor, Kevin Stefanski, Sean Payton, Pete Carroll, Bruce Arians, John Harbaugh, Matt Rhule, Sean McVay, Frank Reich, Sean McDermott, Andy Reid, Matt LaFleur
Taylor’s Bengals earned their first win of the season on the strength of Joe Burrow’s third consecutive 300+ yard game. Stefanski’s Browns built a giant lead in Dallas and managed to hang on. Payton comes back to this scale after the Saints’ comeback win against Detroit. Carroll, McVey, McDermott, Reid, and LaFleur’s team each respectively remain perfect with their teams. Arians, Rhule, and Reich’s teams won their second game in a row. Harbaugh comes back to this scale after the Ravens’ dominant win against Washington.
Tepid
Vic Fangio, Doug Marrone, Brian Flores, Anthony Lynn, Ron Rivera, Kliff Kingsbury, Matt Nagy, Mike Zimmer, Jon Gruden, Doug Pedersen, Kyle Shanahan, Bill Belichick
Welcome to the Tepic category, Matt Nagy and Bill Belichick! Nagy’s Bears were absolutely dreadful on offense in a loss to the Colts where they gained only 28 yards on the ground. Belichick’s Patriots played well against Kansas City in a game that was moved to Monday Night due to positive COVID tests. They hung in there in the first three quarters but the Chiefs pulled away at the end. Fangio moved back up into the Tepid scale after the Broncos’ win over the Jets. Pedersen and Zimmer also climbed their way back to Tepid after wins over Zimmer’s Vikings and Pedersen’s Eagles earned wins.
Instant Pot
Joe Judge, Mike McCarthy (no relation)
Admit it, Cowboys fan: you kinda saw this coming. McCarthy’s Cowboys may be solid offensively but they are a mess defensively. After allowing 20 points in their season opener in Los Angeles, the Cowboys have allowed an average of 42 PPG since. That includes their 40-39 win over Atlanta where they came back from a 20-point deficit. This week, the Cowboys fell behind 31-14 at halftime and lost by 11. Meanwhile, another coach from the Belichick Coaching Tree is struggling to find his footing, this time in the Big Apple (or Garden State for you geographical snobs out there). Judge’s Giants moved the ball against the Rams but couldn’t finish drives as the first-year coach’s team dropped to 0-4. Speaking of the Belichick Coaching Tree…
Circle of Hell: Level 8
Adam Gase, Dan Quinn, Matt Patricia
Welcome back to the Circle of Hell: Level 8 scale, Matt Patricia! For the sixth consecutive game, the Lions took a lead of 10+ points and then lit it on fire. (No pun intended considering the level.) The Lions took a 14-0 first quarter lead against New Orleans and surrendered the next 35 to the Saints. They came back and scored the next 15 but lost to fall to 1-3. Gase and Quinn remained in this level after both their teams dropped to 0-4. Gase’s Jets snatched defeat from the jaws of victory against Denver and a THIRD-STRING QUARTERBACK on Thursday Night Football. Quinn’s Falcons, meanwhile, didn’t blow a 15+ point lead this time – because they never had the lead to begin with. Atlanta was slapped around by Green Bay on Monday Night Football.
Toast
Bill O’Brien
And we’ve had our first coaching casualty of the season! Yesterday, the news broke that Bill O’Brien was now persona non grata as head coach/GM of the Houston Texans. You’d have to be blind or completely unaware of the damage that O’Brien has done in the last year. Though his Texans have been to the playoffs four of the last five seasons, they never advanced past the divisional playoff. O’Brien has gutted his draft capital over the last couple seasons and as a result, the Texans haven’t been able to grow. This has culminated into an 0-4 record in 2020 and as a result, O’Brien is out of a job. Defensive coordinator Romeo Crennel will fill in as interim head coach for the remainder of the season.
N/A: Mike Tomlin, Mike Vrabel (Stupid #CoronaSZN. Be safe out there, folks.)
Got your own take about the NFL hot seat scale? Leave a comment below or hit me up on Twitter: @WhoIsRyanMcC. And don’t forget to check out my podcast No Credentials Required (new episodes every Wednesday) and my live stream show A-Round for the Weekend (most Fridays at 6:30pm).
