Wrestlemania really became the Goliath we know it as today with Wrestlemania III. Hulk slamming Andre is still a top 3 moment of all time. Not only for Wrestlemania, but maybe wrestling in general. That moment alone made the entire third Wrestlemania the renowned event of lore. Yet, rewatching these, I feel Wrestlemania IV is the first Wrestlemania where the nostalgia of old WWF/E begins. This is, in my humble opinion, the one that begins the wrestling of old that we remember and love. This is when the promos became cocaine riddled gibberish and the wrestlers used over-the-top gimmicks that resonate to this day. It’s time for another WrestleMania rewatch with a beer!
Beer Choice
For this one I have to go with a Flying Dog Raging Bitch. Why? Well this is Macho Mans night and when you think Macho Man you think about that flying elbow drop. Well, that or Slim-Jims.
A lot more hoppy than my preferred beer taste, but at 8.3% it makes sense. Coming in at around $13 for a six-pack of these, it’s worth the price. Double-edged sword though being that high of an ABV, as this WrestleMania is almost 4 hours long. So, there’s a good chance I’ll be trying to focus on the Macho Man in the middle by the time I get to the final bout.
Wrestlemania IV
Hulkamania had been running wild at this point, and the WWF/E was more popular than ever. For some reason though, even with a record crowd the year before, it took place in front of only 19,000 fans. That’s a far cry from the 93,000 just a year prior. Vince McMahon chose to instead hold the event in Atlantic City, NJ this time, at Trump Plaza. Fun fact, Trump Plaza was actually just Boardwalk Hall, the convention center on the AC boardwalk. Keeping in kayfabe, they didn’t acknowledge that and we pretended Trump hosted the event the entire night. Pro-wrestling and politics are all built on lies though, so this isn’t very surprising.
Unlike the first three, this Wrestlemania didn’t have an advertised main event. That’s because a few months earlier, Hogan lost the title to Andre in a Wrestelmania III rematch. That match, of course, didn’t end in a very legally sincere way. Even worse, Andre “sold” the belt to the Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase after winning it. These series of uncouth events would lead to the title being ultimately vacated. It would set up Wrestlemania IV, where a 14 man tournament would be held for the belt. Hulk and Andre, due to their previous engagement with the title, would get first round byes.
Much of the build for this night would revolve around Andre and Hulk Hogan. So many people thought they’d be seeing a rematch. Smart. Reignite that feud and try to mimic the results of the year before. Instead, fans were treated to a much different card than they initially signed up for.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Begins
For Wrestlemania III, they started with a brightly lit arena for once. Wrestlemania IV starts in a similar fashion, but in a much smaller arena with less people. The familiar sights are there with the classic red, white and blue ring and the superior Wrestlemania logo adorned on banners throughout. Mean Gene Okerlund stands in the ring, and hope fills the air as we’ll be treated to another of his renditions of the Star Spangled Banner.
America The Beautiful: Gladys Knight
Unfortunately, that was wishful thinking on my part. Instead, we get Gladys Knight who is wearing enough flair to work at Chotchkies. For the third year in a row, we get an Americana montage of images during the song, along with a surprise treat. Gladys breaks into some “My Country Tis-Of-Thee” midway, to the delight of the crowd. She does end rather quickly, perhaps to grab a midnight train to Georgia.*
*I apologize for the 2 seconds you spent reading that atrocious attempt at a joke.
Announcers
A trophy is brought down to the ring as we pan the dynamic duo of Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura. These two are to me the quintessential sound of classic Wrestlemania. Halfway through, we get Bob “Harry Doyle” Uecker himself for the second year in a row joining them. He continues his mini-beef with Ventura as our first celebrity of the night (after Gladys).
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 1: 20 Man Battle Royal
This is the second time we have a 20 man battle royal in Wrestlemania. This one is different though, as it’s solely wrestlers (no NFL players) and all the wrestlers are introduced after already being in the ring. The competitors were:
- Bad News Brown
- Nikolai Volkoff
- Boris Zhukov
- Bret Hart
- Jim Neidhart
- B. Brian Blair
- Jim Brunzell
- Danny Davis
- George “The Animal” Steele
- Hillbilly Jim
- Jacques Rougeaus
- Raymond Rougeaus
- Harley Race
- Paul Roma
- Jim Powers
- Junkyard Dog
- Ken Patera
- Ron Bass
- Sam Houston
- Sika
The bell rings and the participants just start wailing on each other. These battle royales are often victims of “too many cooks in the kitchen” as it’s tough to figure out who to focus on. George “The Animal” Steele starts outside the ring, wearing his trademark skin sweater. He also confuses both the refs and Gorilla Monsoon, as he never actually entered the ring. Instead he kinda just stands outside until everyone forgets this, and he’s told to just head to the back. That’s a pretty easy payday.
The final three are Junkyard Dog, Bret Hart and Bad News Brown. After seeing the pop JYD got in years prior, it’s unfortunate he was relegated to this match and not given an opportunity to shine alone. It seemed like it was just Vince finding something for the mid-carders to do. That trophy was literally the original participation trophy. It would also be won by Bad News Brown, and then subsequently broken by Bret Hart. I wish Hillbilly Jim won because that trophy was huge, so it would’ve been nice to see next to him. Hart celebrates in the ring with pieces of the trophy, and Brown retreats to the back. I assume they had a participation ribbon waiting for him.
Winner: Bad News Brown
Round 1 Heavyweight Championship Tournament
Howard Finkle explains the rules to the crowd for the tournament, even though it’s pretty cut and dry. Robin Leech is then our third celebrity, who comes out to read a scroll that explains the reasoning for the tournament. They should really start March Madness this way every year, with “champagne wishes and caviar dreams.”
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 2: “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan vs. “Millionaire Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase w/Andre The Giant and Virgil
The second match and we still haven’t been treated to any entrance music. Unfortunate, because Dibiase is technically the reason for this entire tournament. His Money Inc. theme blasting throughout the night would’ve brought good heat and given him the aura of being the (rigged) favorite.
Hacksaw controls the crowd, as he’s always been a favorite. The “YOOOOO” with a thumbs up was a crowd-pleaser that you’d hear roughly 25 times a match. It sort of became second nature for him. He had the match won, but Andre grabbed his leg and, as per Gorilla, “knocked him silly.”
Winner: Ted Dibiase
Interview: Brutus The Barber Beefcake
Brutus Beefcake is finally the man we all remember him as for the first time at Wrestlemania. Holding his shears, he cuts his promo, and the barber gimmick is in full swing.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 3: Dino Bravo w/Frenchy Martin vs. Don Muraco w/Superstar Billy Graham
The best part of this match is Jesse Ventura talking about how he taught Billy Graham everything he knows. Those two, plus Hulk Hogan, were basically just three of the same characters, lookswise. Aside from that, this match was somehow in the title tournament. Bravo is introduced in the ring, over the first entrance music of the night. This whole match was off though, as it felt more like they just didn’t want to make the battle royale 22 people, so had these two fight one-on-one instead. Bravo eventually gets the ref knocked out purposely and himself eliminated via DQ in the process.
Winner: Don Muraco
Interview:
Bob Uecker starts this one by interviewing Honky Tonk Man and Jimmy Hart. I’d love to have seen Uecker fight Jimmy Hart, as he actually had a few inches on him. Honky Tonk drops some nonsense about “shake rattle and roll” and then leaves.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 4: Greg “The Hammer” Valentine w/Jimmy Hart vs. Ricky Steamboat
Ricky Steamboat had been 3-0 and in one of the best Wrestlemania matches ever at this point. After winning the intercontinental belt the year before, he had left for a while for the birth of his son. He lost his title (for asking for time off), but came out on this night holding his son. Probably slightly more important to him than any championship, so good for him. Overall this match isn’t bad, which is expected with Steamboat involved. He hits a cross body off the top rope, but gets rolled up for a reverse pin in the end.
We also get our first shot of Donald Trump in the crowd during this match, who Ventura calls his friend. I’d love to know their friendship dynamic these days.
Winner: Greg “The Hammer” Valentine
Interview: British Bulldogs and Koko B. Ware
The Bulldogs are holding a bulldog, and the entire interview is about hunting weasels. The weasel in question is Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. Not much to this one.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 5: “The Natural” Butch Reed w/Slick vs. Macho Man Randy Savage w/Miss Elizabeth
Macho Mans music hits and the crowd goes pretty crazy. He’s getting big pops already, even with Hogan still in the running to win the belt. He actually spends most of this match down, with Reed basically staring at Miss Elizabeth the entire time. Odd, because I still think Slick is a pimp, so not sure if Miss Elizabeth paid for that attention. In the end, his overly ambitious eyeballing costs him the match, with our first flying elbow drop of the night to seal the win.
Winner: Macho Man Randy Savage
Interview: The Islanders w/Bobby Heenan
Bob Uecker had seemed to be relegated to backstage interviews by this point. I wish this was more Uecker and Heenan just going back and forth with insults. Though Heenan telling Uecker he’d have gotten more hall of fame votes if he hadn’t ran out of stamps was classic.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 6: One Man Gang w/Slick vs. Bam Bam Bigelow w/Oliver Humperdink
I don’t know who the hell Oliver Humperdink is, but he went toe-to-toe with Slick in the pimp game. Coming out in the Kramers Technicolor Dreamcoat, he seemed ready to make sure his b*****s were using jimmys. Bam Bam being from Asbury Park, NJ was the hometown hero, and the crowd was on his side. It’s weird seeing him in a WWE/F match this early, but people forget he was over for a while then. Slick actually uses his pimp hands and gets Bam Bam out of the ring. He’s then counted out, even though he’s standing on the apron fighting. This usually ends the count, but they didn’t seem to think this match through when booking it. I actually think they confused who was who and just told the ref count whoever goes out first.
Winner: One Man Gang
Interview: Hulk Hogan
It doesn’t get more legendary than Hulk Hogan and Mean Gene. Especially when Hulk starts spouting off what Hulkamaniacs ask him, in between deep full body heavy breathing. This interview starts going off the rails as he begins talking about Andre falling into the ocean after he slams him into the fault line. It’s weird to hear him talk science after he’s preached so much about saying prayers. The entire promo is pretty unintelligible. Somehow, he is going to swim every Hulkamaniac to safety, after he crushes the fault line, of course. Just pure gibberish and ranting. Classic 80’s Hogan promo. He does end with the famous backstroke off screen, that I’m sure you’ve seen.
Also, we learn Donald Trump is in fact a Hulkamaniac. Something that we didn’t realize at the time would be a factor in our presidential election 36 years later. Who knew Hogan had been setting up the ultimate Real American storyline all those years ago, truly a visionary.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 7: “Ravishing” Rick Rude w/Bobby Heenan vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts
This should have been a much better match. These two are legends in their own right. Rude gets some quick heel heat to start, and Jake is his usual, cunning, slow burn self. However, the crowd just didn’t seem too into the match the entire time. It was a good match all around, but unfortunately it ends in a “time limit” draw. Which I believe is code for “we didn’t really have much plans for you two further than this match tonight.”
Winner: Draw
Interview: Vanna White
We’ve been hearing Bob Uecker and Jesse Ventura talking about Vanna White all night, so it was inevitable she’d show up. She also has no idea who Uecker is. They discuss the results of the first round of the tournament, and Vannas projections for the quarter finals.
Side note: I don’t think Vanna White has aged.
Double side note: I haven’t watched Wheel of Fortune in like 20 years, so I also don’t know what she currently looks like.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 8: Ultimate Warrior vs. Hercules
The Ultimate Warrior makes his Wrestlemania debut, looking just as fine tuned as he would throughout his entire career. Warrior makes his usual entrance, but he clearly isn’t as over with the crowd yet as he’d eventually become. His coked up convulsing isn’t met with the enthusiasm we’d come to expect from the fans. The two square off and the only body fat in the ring is on the ref (sorry Earl Hebner). Jesse Ventura actually asks during the match why Warrior wears all those tassles, which is ironic considering how Ventura dressed during his wrestling career. And actually, even his announcing career.
We have yet another bizarre finish with this one, as Warrior gets his shoulder up at the last second while being pinned from on top. If that sentence seems to make no sense to you, that’s because neither did this finish. The Warrior gets Hercules chain and begins swinging it around the ring, a la Ralphie to Georgie in The Sopranos. Also, a la Hercules the year before at Wrestlemania III.
Winner: Ultimate Warrior
Round 2 Heavyweight Championship Tournament
Before the quarter finals begin, we see video clips of what led to the title being vacated. This all starts with Wrestlemania III and ends with Andre pinning Hogan, while his shoulder is clearly up.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 9: Andre The Giant w/Virgil and Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase vs. Hulk Hogan
Andre comes out to silence and some scattered boos. Once in the ring, Real American hits and Hogan brings the crowd to life. I love how on top of the entrance fans were for this Wrestlemania, as you feel Hogan is almost just coming out straight through the crowd. It’s much different from the enormous arena sets we see today. Hogan runs into the ring and begins the match before even doing his signature shirt tear. He gets Andre stuck in the ropes and Atlantic City collectively rises to their feet. This match lacks any of the the feel and emotion from WM III, but the crowd is still eating it up.
Hogan eventually goes to slam Andre, but Dibiase interferes with a chair. Hogan then gets the chair and hits Andre. The bell doesn’t ring though, the ref seems to just warn him. The Andre grabs the chair and hits Hogan and the ref basically says “f**k it” and the bell rings in a double DQ. Hogan does eventually slam Andre, and his music hits, but its all for nothing as they’ve both been disqualified from the tournament. For the first year, Hogan will not be main eventing Wrestlemania. We do still get Hogan poses, however.
Interview: Macho Man and Miss Elizabeth
Macho Man talks about Hulk Hogan has never been defeated, for some reason. Then he goes on about how he’ll never be stopped. Miss Elizabeth just stares blankly, most likely wondering what her husband is on. As great as she is, she always seemed like she accidentally wandered into the arena, and just kinda went with it best she could.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 10: Don Muraco w/Superstar Billy Graham vs. “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase
Always fun seeing Billy Graham make an appearance during the highpoint of Hulkamania. He’s like Jackson Maine’s brother in A Star Is Born, except Hulk didn’t steal his voice, but rather his entire look and persona.
The match itself is alright, Muraco takes the lead to start, but even as the face the crowd didn’t seem to care. Dibiase eventually gets a clean win, which is surprising if you wanted to get him more heat. Overall, pretty lackluster match.
Winner: Ted Dibiase
Interview: Demolition w/Mr Fuji
They talk about the good old days when they used to hit each other over the head with baseball bats. You know, for fun. Also crazy to me how Ax was able to sound like he was using one of those voice boxes when he talked. Any blind smokers listening to the show probably thought he was mocking them. They wouldn’t know any better.
No Match: One Man Gang
One Man Gang comes out to have Finkle announce that he would automatically move on due to Rude and Jake the Snakes draw. Not sure this was necessary, as we didn’t see many people in the audience keeping track of their own brackets for the tournament. He hugs Slick and they leave to go celebrate his non-participation trophy.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 11: Greg “The Hammer” Valentine w/Jimmy Hart vs. Macho Man Randy Savage w/Miss Elizabeth
Everyones favorite lesbian gym teacher Valentine starts off controlling the match. Trump actually eagerly looks on throughout, wincing at the action. Elizabeth does as well, watching Savage get thrown around outside the ring, looking very unprepared.
At some point, Macho Man’s 80’s powder-super-power kicks in and he comes to life. He gets the win with a surprise reverse small package off of an attempted figure four. This got the crowd back to life after that 1-2 punch of Dibiase vs. Muraco and One Man Gang vs the air combo they’d just watched.
Winner: Macho Man Randy Savage
Tournament Recap: Mean Gene and Vanna White
We hear more about how Bob Uecker seems to be stalking Vanna White. She also says she still likes Hogan in the tournament, seemingly unaware of him having been disqualified. If only she paid attention to the recap she was literally currently a part of.
Tournament Break
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 12: Intercontinental Championship: Honky Tonk Man (C) w/Jimmy Hart and Peggy Sue vs. Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake
Honky Tonk man comes out with Jimmy Hart who literally just ran to the back after the last match and turned right around, like Grandpa Simpson at the burlesque house. Peggy Sue is leading them down the aisle, dancing like Elaine in Seinfeld. Brutus comes out snip-snapping his hedge clippers, like Michael Scott talking about vasectomies. And with that, I’ve hit my pop culture simile quota for this article.
Honky Tonk does his usual schtick, trying to avoid the fight and getting cheap heat. They both control the match at different times, each one trading missed moves at various points. Basically a lot of air fighting. Bruti (as Monsoon refers to him, since I guess Brutus implies multiple Bruti, and he’s just one wrestler) eventually gets the sleeper hold on. As Honky Tonk man begins to fall asleep and we wonder if he can dream (that was a stretch of an Elvis reference by me, I’ll admit), Jimmy Hart concedes. By concedes I mean he knocks the ref out with his megaphone because no ref, no loss. Brutus then chases him and starts to cut his hair, sans that weird blue liquid barbers have. As Honky Tonk man escapes, Brutus is held back by multiple refs snapping his clippers away looking to cut everyones hair, like a guilty barber doing community service at a homeless shelter.
Winner: Brutus The Barber Beefcake
Interview: Andre The Giant
Bob Uecker starts talking about his creepy lust for Vanna White, before being interrupted by Andre. He cuts a promo about the end of Hulkamania, before Uecker delivers the greatest line ever.
With Andres hand on his shoulder:
“Hey how ’bout getting your foot off my shoulder.”
Which is then followed by the unforgettable moment where Andre momentarily chokes Bob Uecker. Also, Andre The Giant’s hand is literally the size of Bob Uecker’s head.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 13: The Islanders (Haku and Tama) and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan vs. The British Bulldogs and Koko B. Ware
Not sure of the leadup to this match, but having a six-man tag match where five out of those six are actual wrestlers and the other is Bobby Heenan seems a bit unfair. He’s wearing heavily padded gear and comes in to get some clean-up shots when the other guys have been worn down. The match wasn’t much to watch, with a few good moves as usual from the Bulldogs.
Heenan actually scores the pinfall, being thrown on top of an already KO’d Ware. After the match, we get the Bulldogs chasing Heenan with their actual Bulldog, Matilda. They eventually catch up to him and pretty much force Matilda to uncomfortably attack Heenan, like some sort of gang initiation. Only the guy being initiated wants nothing to do with it.
Winners: The Islanders and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan
Weird Posing: Jesse “The Body” Ventura
Howard Finkle directs the audiences attention to Ventura in the rafters, who proceeds to just strike a few Hoganesque poses. That’s the entire segment.
Round 3 Heavyweight Championship Tournament
Match 14: One Man Gang w/Slick vs. Macho Man Randy Savage w/Miss Elizabeth
Fresh off his victory over circumstance, Gang is now tasked with fighting the fan favorite Macho Man. The match is pretty straight forward, neither one showing dominance. The turning point comes when Slick inexplicably goes after Miss Elizabeth, in a moment of not-so-subtle racist undertones, and then One Man Gang begins to wail on Macho Man with Slick’s cane, eventually being disqualifed.
Winner: Macho Man Randy Savage
Tournament Recap: Mean Gene, Vanna White and (eventually) Bob Uecker
We got a quick update from Mean Gene letting us know that the final is set. Macho Man vs Ted Dibiase, thanks to a couple of byes. Vanna then hightails it out of there right before Uecker comes hopping in, pheromones trailing him, searching for her.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 14: Tag Team Championship: Demolition (Ax and Smash) w/Mr. Fuji vs. Strike Force (Tito Santana and Rick Martel) (C)
The most memorable aspect of this match was ten straight minutes of Jesse Ventura making Mexican jokes and referring to Tito Santana as “Chico”. This was years before Razor Ramon would popularize the term.
Demolition eventually gets the win, using the cane from Mr. Fuji to knock Martel out from behind while the ref was down. So that’s two matches in a row decided by a cane. Also, while Demolition were the heels here, the crowd popped pretty good for their win, with a lot of kids visibly celebrating the 1-2-3.
Winners: Demolition
Finals Heavyweight Championship Tournament
Pre-Match Introductions
Robin Leach comes out carrying the greatest WWF title belt ever: the winged eagle. Bob Uecker follows, as he announces the guest timekeeper, Vanna White. Vanna is accompanied by uniformed security guards, no doubt due to Uecker’s presence. They do eventually meet in the ring and she plants a kiss on his cheek. He convulses almost as violently as he did when Andre choked him earlier.
Wrestlemania Rewatch Match 15: Heavyweight Championship Tournament Final: Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase w/Andre The Giant vs. Macho Man Randy Savage w/Miss Elizabeth
If ever there was a time for Million Dollar Man’s “Money, Money, Money” theme song to debut, this match would have been it. Unfortunately, we were a few years away from that and he came out to silence. Macho Man comes out with his fourth wardrobe change, which had this been today, WWE would have no doubt capitalized on with variant wrestling figures for each.
As the match begins, it’s clear Andre will be disruptive for Macho Man. This prompts the crowd to start chanting for Hogan, who no doubt was in the back politicking for McMahon to somehow change the finish at this point.
While Macho holds his own, Andre does continue to prove to be a distraction. This leads to Macho eventually whispering something to Elizabeth, leading her to go off running to the back. She’ll return soon with Hulk Hogan in tow, who grabs a chair and takes a ringside seat. He doesn’t get much R and R as he immediately has to go get in between Andre and Macho.
Hulkamania Was About to Run Wild
Things would eventually settle down and the match would go on with no more interferences. Until, for reasons unknown, Hulk gets in the ring and smacks DiBiase in the back with a chair as he was about to end Macho Man with a sleeper. This wasn’t to stop Andre, mind you, but rather just Hogan stopping Macho from losing. As Jesse Ventura would go off about Hogan stooping that low, it was hard to argue with him. Just blatant cheating by the company’s biggest star.
DiBiase would go down and Macho Man would shake off the sleepys, climbing to the top and hitting him with the most famous flying elbow in wrestling history. As the ref hit the 1-2-3, Hogan would go running to snatch the title out of Robin Leach’s pretentious hands and hand it to Macho himself. As the ref hit the 3, the crowd roared and rose to their feet, Trump included.
Miss Elizabeth would cry and Hogan wouldn’t leave the ring, choosing to celebrate Macho’s victory as a win for both of them. We’d end the show with Macho hoisting Miss Elizabeth on his shoulders and the crowd continuing to cheer. Pandemonium at its finest, as per Gorilla Monsoon.
Winner: Macho Man Randy Savage and somehow Hulk Hogan
Final Thoughts
While it was the first Wrestlemania not to feature Hulk Hogan in the main event, it still featured Hulk Hogan in the main event. This would be a common theme for the next few years. The event itself suffered from the tournament making it last a little too long, clocking in at almost four hours. It was one of my least rewatched as a kid and I remember why rewatching it now.
The minimal celebrity involvement was a continued welcome change, with the running storyline of Uecker stalking Vanna White entertaining. They definitely aimed too high with 14 participants, as evident from all the draws and DQs they used to lessen the amount of matches. It also would have been better had Macho Man gotten to have his moment alone (with Elizabeth) after the main event, but of course this entire Wrestlemania would help set up the main event for Wrestlemania V. I will now need to start looking for a beer to drink during that rewatch.
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Featured Image: Getty Images
