In international soccer, players can move from one club to another in three ways. One, a player runs his contract down, and they sign as a free agent. Two, a club pays another club an amount of money to negotiate with the player and ultimately sign with the buying club. Third, a player can be loaned from one club to another for a fixed amount of time and then return to the club that loaned him out. But what if there was a fourth way…trades!
Trades do happen, but are rare. Both players must agree to sign with the other club, unlike in North America, where players under contract don’t have that autonomy.
Before I start launching fake trades in international soccer that will never happen but should, there are some parameters. First, the trade can’t cross continents. As fun as it would be to put Messi back on a European club side, Miami nor MLS would let that happen. Second, since there aren’t draft picks, I will be using young players with high potential as fill-ins for picks. Third, only one team is allowed to be used. I must resist making 300 fake Chelsea trades.
Man United and PSG Solve Identity Issues
Manchester United receives: Achraf Hakimi and Nuno Mendes
PSG receives: Marcus Rashford, Bruno Fernandes, and Tyrell Malacia
Manchester United and PSG are both lack an identity. PSG is a collection of talented young players, none of which are big-star names. While Manchester United hired a manager who plays with wing-backs…the team doesn’t have any wing-backs.
Manchester United get two promising full-backs who’ve played wing-back in their career, Mendes has played for new Manchester United manager Rúben Amorim, while Hakimi is one of the best right-backs in the world. Getting rid of Rashford and Fernandes hurts, but would kickstart the squad reconstruction that needs to happen.
PSG feels different, looks different, and has been irrelevant in global soccer conversations since the summer. Yes, this is because they have no star name. Rashford just turned 27 and would demolish Ligue 1 opposition. Rashford and Fernandes starting on the PSG side would do wonders for their brand. Rashford reclaiming his England place would skyrocket PSG back into the global conversation.
Tyrell Malacia would help ease the burden of the departing full-backs for PSG and is young enough to still fulfill his potential.
Real Madrid Solve their “Mbappe Problem”
Real Madrid Get: Harry Kane and Alexsandar Pavlovic
Bayern Munich Get: Vinicius Jr and Endrick
I never said the fans of these clubs would be happy about the trades I’ve cooked up. But nevertheless facts are facts. Real Madrid have started the season off in weird form. They’ve never looked settled and a lot of it is down to Kylian Mbappe and Vini Jr being great players in the same position.
This trade would allow Vini Jr to still chase the elusive Ballon d’Or and Endrick to get more game time. Bayern Munich would see this as a chance to get younger. Michael Olise is the only winger under the age of 28 on the roster. Although it would be hard to say goodbye to Kane, I’m a Mathyes Tel truther, and thrusting him or Endrick into a starting spot wouldn’t hurt them.
Real Madrid would see Kane as an ideal Mbappe partner in attack. Kane is unselfish in attack and would open up a ton of space for Mbappe. Harry Kane would be able to finally win a trophy because Real Madrid always wins and surely Kane isn’t cursed.
Alexsandar Pavlovic would give Real Madrid roster flexibility moving forward. They’d be able to move off another CDM midfielder in favor of a Toni Kroos like replacement.
This move would also give Real Madrid the possibility of teaming up Erling Haaland and Mbappe in the future when Kane starts to drop off. Haaland and Mbappe are a more natural fit than Vini Jr and Mbappe.
Chelsea Trades For Viktor Gyökeres
Chelsea Get: Viktor Gyökeres
Sporting Get: Mykhalio Mudryk, Renato Veiga, and João Félix
Chelsea would be able to pick up the man of the moment and get rid of bench players. Viktor Gyökeres is on fire to start the season and has been on a heater since the start of last season. Gyökeres has scored 66 goals in 67 games since joining Sporting in the summer of 2023.
He would solve Chelsea’s search for an elite number nine. He’d be able to combine great with Cole Palmer.
Sporting would get back three players, all are younger than Gyökeres. Mudryk still has elite potential and would absolutely tear up the Portuguese league with his insane speed. Veiga would give the new Sporting manager tactical flexibility. Veiga can play different positions in defense and midfield.
João Félix would be a tough sell to Sporting fans at first due to his connections with rivals Benfica. However, all would be forgotten as Félix, like Mudryk, would light the Portuguese league on fire with his creativity and goal-scoring threat playing just off the striker.
Sporting would also be able to retain competitiveness in the league and Champions League by bringing in players who’ve played Champions League Football.
If you enjoyed “Three Fake Soccer Trades,” then check out Belly Up Sports! Follow me on Twitter/X @nikgable37
Featured Image: Photo by Florencia Tan Jun/Getty Images
