Between injuries, weight cut drama, and COVID 19, there is no way Dana White pulls off Khabib Nurmagomedov vs. Tony Ferguson at UFC 249, right?

UFC fighters practiced social distancing before social distancing was cool!

God bless Dana White!

Dana is trying to do something that no other leader in sports is willing to do. He is trying to have live sporting events in a time where the world has shut down crowds. He pulled off UFC Fight Night on March 14 in Brasilla, Brasil- with no fans present.

Why wouldn’t Dana think that he can pull off a miracle and hold UFC 249 on the scheduled date, April 18?

Well, it isn’t about the event, so much as the main event. It is the unicorn of fights; no one has ever seen it, so there is not proof that Khabib Nurmagomedov will ever fight Tony Ferguson.

And it’s not like the UFC hasn’t tried!

Dana White, Stop Trying to Schedule This Damn Fight: Reason Number One

Friends, let me take you back to 2015. It was a simpler time, Bruno Mars was Uptown Funking us up, the 74th Rocky movie was released in the form of Creed, and you could not wait to watch the latest episode of misogyny and chain-smoking that was Mad Men.

Dana White had this crazy idea; take two of the top lightweight fighters in the world and match them up in the octagon at The Ultimate Fighter Finale.

That’s where it all started to go wrong.

Khabib Nurmagomedov busted his rib and had to withdraw from the fight with Tony Ferguson. Now, this happens in the fight game; fights get cancelled for a multitude of reasons.

So like any good promoter, WWDWD (What Would Dana White Do)? He tries to make the fight down the road.

Ughhh!!!

Dana White, Stop Trying to Schedule This Damn Fight: Reason Number Two

Ahhh, yes! 2016. I was so young then! I believed all superhero movies would be awesome- then I saw Suicide Squad. You live, you learn.

At least I had MMA. I had the UFC, where Dana White was going to make a lightweight mega fight with top contenders Khabib and Tony! UFC on Fox, national television; this made a lot of sense.

So young; so naive.

Tony Ferguson has to go to the hospital with blood in his lungs. The fight is scrapped.

MMA fans are left longing for this fight. MMA fans are also left wondering if this fight is cursed and will ever be scheduled again.

Welp…

Dana White, Stop Trying to Schedule This Damn Fight: Reason Number Three

What were you doing way back in 2017? Did you Millie Rock your way through life? Were you still dabbin’ on fools? Did you floss to your little heart’s content?

Dana White was trying to make a huge mega card for UFC 209. He had a welterweight title fight slated. The perfect co-main event would be the making the impossible happen; the fans would finally get their Khabib vs. Tony showdown!

The fight made it all the way to weigh-ins, the day before the event! It would finally hap… what? What do you mean Khabib isn’t feeling good? I don’t understand; what do you mean the doctors aren’t going to let him fight? Don’t tell me we’re going to have to cancel this fight THE DAY BEFORE IT IS SCHEDULED TO GO DOWN?!

Ummm, yeah. This isn’t meant to be. Dana will finally take the hint, I’m sure.

Damn it Dana! What are You Doing Trying to Schedule Khabib vs Tony? Stop it with this Foolishness: Reason Number Four

Back in 2018, I thought anything was possible! My shorts got a little shorter, my jeans got a little less skinny, and and I started rocking blazers with my dark denim. I was king of the world!

Dana White, however, had the comedy of errors that was UFC 223.

First, he tried to headline a pay-per-view with the doomed Khabib vs. Tony fight. Of course, Tony tears ligaments in his knee when he tripped while walking to do media for the event. The main event is destroyed!

Dana tries to replace Tony with the, then, Featherweight Champion in Max Holloway, who can’t do the fight, either. This doesn’t even get at Conor McGregor going friggin’ looney tunes and attacking the bus with Khabib on it and injuring several fighters by breaking the bus window.

Dana White finally gets smart, though, and announces that he will never try to make the Khabib vs. Tony fight ever again!

UFC, Y’all Some Damn Fools Trying to Make This Khabib vs. Tony Fight: Reason Number Five

And now, welcome to 2020! This year can’t end soon enough!

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Dana White is trying to make the Khabib vs. Tony fight for April 18 at UFC 249.

The universe has responded by creating a scenario where human beings can no longer interact with each other. Check and mate, Dana!

This fight is cursed! Some things are never meant to happen; humans aren’t meant to have wings, fish aren’t meant to climb trees, the Knicks aren’t meant to win an NBA championship in my lifetime. It is what it is.

But, this isn’t stopping Dana White!

Some dudes just won’t take a hint, am I right?

Continue to check out the best sports content on the web at Belly Up Sports. Follow me on Twitter and check out my podcast “F” in Sports.

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Chaka Cummings

I'm your favorite rapper's favorite writer.

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