Not since Avengers: End Game have I been so thirsty to watch something. This wasn’t even an actual sporting event and when it came on I was sitting on the edge of my seat like I was gearing up to watch the Dolphins begin a two-minute drive. The anticipation, without a pandemic where everyone is quarantined in their homes, for The Last Dance was mounting as we got closer to June. But then a pandemic did happen and the powers to be threw us a bone, caved to public pressure and fast-tracked it to April.
It’s wild to think that there has been this footage of the Bulls final championship season for 97-98 just laying around. There’s a story behind how it all came to be and why it just sat on a shelf for two decades, but I don’t feel like getting into that. Bill Simmons goes over it with a producer (around starting around 2:06:00) on his latest podcast. But anyone who knows anything about Michael Jordan and those Bull’s teams knows some of things we’re going to see. We’re going to see Jordan losing his mind on his teammates, Jordan gambling stories, Rodman antics and how everything fell apart.
We didn’t get the gambling stories yet, but I did learn, more thoroughly, how and why the Bulls’ dynasty came to an end. It came to an end because their GM, Jerry Krause, was an asshole and couldn’t handle not being thought of as the main guy why those Bulls’ teams were great. Krause, who died in 2017, couldn’t defend himself in this documentary. The picture painted of him wasn’t a flattering one though a few did say that he was a real nice guy. Sorry, but Jordan, Pippen and mostly everyone else didn’t respect the guy and thought he was a dick.
To me, Krause was that guy who’s on the outside of your friend group who wants to be in the main friend group but isn’t and the reason he isn’t is that he can’t shut his mouth when he’s around. He always has outlandish stories that you know aren’t true and is just to much work to have around. Krause seemed like a guy who wasn’t comfortable with himself. As a fellow short guy, you have to know your role and know when to speak and when not too. Those are the rules.
Intro
– The highlight intro to the documentary was of course fun. Naturally, when they first mention Scottie Pippen, they show him dunking on Patrick Ewing. I’m sure Ewing, who was in the documentary, loved seeing that as he watched this last night. A real, “Come on man,” was surely uttered.
– In that same highlight intro when they first showed Dennis Rodman, they show him kicking the cameraman. Not that I forgot that, but I haven’t seen that in a while. I was 10 when he did that and I remember 10-year-old Sern thinking, “That guy has issues.”
– One of the themes of this whole thing (and it’s not a new one that I just thought of before anyone else) is that imagine if Twitter was around during this. Rodman kicking a cameraman, Jordan punching Steve Kerr would be all the world would be talking about for days if it had happened today.
The Man Behind the Legend
– It was cool seeing Jordan doing his interview with a big cigar and snifter of some form of booze. I wonder what kind of alcohol it was? I like to think it was a fine scotch.
– Jordan was really good during the whole two hours. I feel like I never saw him so relaxed with his guard not fully up. He seemed like a regular guy who just happens to be the greatest basketball player who ever lived. When Jordan isn’t trying to rip your heart out or telling you how much he’s better than you, he’s a funny guy.
– I can’t talk about how Michael Jordan was during the first two episodes without speaking about his eyes. His eyes were a bloodshot/gold color. I’ve seen eyes before. That’s not how they’re supposed to look. It’s like years of stogies and hard liquor is bad for you or something.
– On the contrary, Jordan’s mother looked 10 years younger than him. She’s 78. She can easily still get after it.
Michael Jordan’s mom looks younger than half of the 50 year mothers out there! #LastDance pic.twitter.com/mSO6ACrwfz
— Darren M. Haynes (@DarrenMHaynes) April 20, 2020
Other People
– Hey, it’s David Aldridge. I haven’t seen that guy in forever. Good to see he’s still out there.
– Imagine being Phil Jackson. You do nothing but win championships and then you hear that Jerry Krause is going on fishing trips with Tim Floyd. I bet Phil just let out a big bellow type laugh at thinking Tim Floyd was anything. Also, I bet those Krause/Floyd fishing trips were off the chain with shenanigans and craziness.
– Krause told Phil that he could go 82-0 and he’d still be gone. That’s amazing to me. You typically never know that a team is guaranteed to be broken up let alone one of the greatest dynasties in the history of sports.
France
– I didn’t think we’d be hearing any French rap but hear we are.
– Speaking of the the Bulls dominating in France, how about the one guy who asked Jordan for an autograph only to be told by one of his handler’s that it wasn’t going to happen.
– The Bulls destroy that international tournament in France and when they go to the back Jordan says to not give the trophy to Jerry Krause. That’s how much they hated him. Whenever they can get a dig in at Krause, everyone took it. He’s an easy target, but Krause made it even easier by acting like a jerk all the time.
Other Stuff
– I didn’t know the Chicago Sting, an indoor soccer team, outsold the Bulls in Chicago.
– Nobody and I mean nobody loves a soul patch quite like Michael Jordan. He’s the GOAT of soul patches. There I said it.
– The phrase of the documentary so far is easily Traveling Cocaine Circus. Its beauty is in its directness. When you hear Traveling Cocaine Circus, you know what’s going on. Cocaine, that’s what is going on.
More Other People
– Nice to see Pat Riley doing his best impersonation of the architect of the Matrix.
– Hey, it’s former Chicago resident, Barack Obama. I wonder if this guy did anything else besides living in Chicago that he’s more known for?
– The Kenny Mayne State Farm commercial broke my mind.
And the best commercial of 2020 goes to… State Farm featuring Kenny Mayne! #TheLastDance pic.twitter.com/qfbw6nvWM0
— Dwight A. Looper (@DwightALooper) April 20, 2020
-Hey, it’s Ahmad Rashaad. He’s another guy I haven’t seen in a while. Nice
-Finally, we get to see Bill Wennington. If Bill Wennington doesn’t own a Harley and makes his own beef jerky something is wrong with the world.
– Everyone hated Jerry Krause. I know this because he got the life booed out of him on opening night of the ’97-’98 season, which was also championship ring night.
Practice
– The quote of the whole night and potentially the entire documentary is when Jordan was at practice and Ron Harper screwed up and he said, “Fuckin’ Harp!” I need more Bulls’ practice video of Jordan berating everyone.
– Hopefully every episode would feature the Chicago Bulls intro song. I listened to it three times yesterday. I expect more of the same.
That was only episode one. It planted the seeds of how Jordan got to Chicago and showed his drive that couldn’t be matched along with why Jerry Krause was going to blow it all up. On to the second episode.
Episode Two
Episode two begins and you know it’s going to be the Scottie Pippen episode. It shows he was drafted by the SuperSonics but it was already agreed up on the day before that the Bulls were going to trade for him.
Pippen
– Scottie looks pretty well. His eyes aren’t gold, so that’s a plus. Given the way Scottie talks, is there any humanly possible way that he could have ever yelled? Like, physically, I don’t think he could do it.
– Scottie’s brother sounds just like him.
– Here’s Scottie Pippen’s plight: He played basketball to get out of his house because he had a father and older brother who were both in wheelchairs. Started playing basketball, goes to Central Arkansas and becomes their equipment manager. A bunch of guys are deemed academically ineligible so Scottie asks the coach if he can play. The coach, eventually, gives him a scholarship. Scottie grows like 4-5 inches, gets real good at basketball, gets drafted fifth overall in the 1987 draft. He gets traded to Bulls, wins six titles, named one of the 50 best players of all time.
Underpaid
– I left out that he got paid like a second-string defensive lineman. The episode really focused on Scottie’s problem with Jerry Krause. Scottie got injured in the Finals the previous year. He elected to have surgery, not in the summer but instead having it closer to the beginning of the season. He did this because he wasn’t happy with the contract that he signed in 1991. That contract was a 7-year $18 million contract. I don’t know why his agent let him sign that contract. Scottie said he did it because he wanted a sure thing and he needed to take care of his family. I get it, but that agent should have known better.
– Great quote about how Scottie feels about Summer;
Scottie Pippen. BIG fan of summer pic.twitter.com/2qslygyLRc
— Rob Lopez (@r0bato) April 20, 2020
– The Bulls started the 97 season without Scottie and they were playing bad.
– Jordan thought Pippen was being selfish. Jordan was making tens of millions and Scottie was the 6th highest paid player on the Bulls making him the 122nd highest paid player in the league. He was making less than Luc Longley. Let that set in.
1997-98 Bulls season salary…
— Jhonathan ?? (@deafboricua21) April 18, 2020
Scottie Pippen was the 6th highest paid player on the team. pic.twitter.com/mbMdy4AXX1
Back to Jordan
– The Scottie Pippen episode, officially, turned into a Michael Jordan episode.
– It time jumps all the way back to 1986 when Jordan was dealing with a foot injury and Krause was trying to tank to get a lottery pick. Jordan was on a minutes restriction only playing seven minutes a half. Obviously, Jordan hated it. It went against everything he stood for. It started the feud of Jordan vs. Krause.
– Cut to the last game of the season. The Bulls need a win to get into the playoffs. If they lose, they get in the lottery. Jordan is desperately trying to play more in the game to get Chicago to the playoffs. John Paxson hits one of the more unathletic game-winners you’ll ever see and the Bulls get the eight seed. Krause was pissed that this happened.
– I’m not sure why showing that there was team called the Washington Bullets when it actually happened is problematic, but that’s ESPN for you.
– Chicago gets the mighty Boston Celtics, with Bird, Parrish, Walton, McHale and Ainge. This is when Jordan took his game to the next level. He scored 49 in game one.
– Then in a move that surely has the people-who-believe-players-of-today-are-soft-because-they-all-hang-out-with-each-other crowd annoyed, Jordan plays golf with Danny Ainge before game two. He tells Ainge, “Tell DJ I got something for him tomorrow.” He’s referring to Dennis Johnson, the guy who mainly guarded Jordan. Jordan preceded to drop 63 on the Celtics in a losing effort. A ridiculous number considering he didn’t attempt a single three.
More Other Stuff
– Hey it’s former Arkansas governor Bill Clinton. I wonder if he ever held a higher office than governor?
– Watching those Bulls Celtics highlights I noticed Bill Walton looking as unzen and not toasted as I’v ever seen him.
– The random trivia questions before commercials are just alright.
– Speaking of randomness, here’s a story from Common about forging MJ’s signature and selling it for five dollars.
– I like how they illustrated that Bulls weren’t playing well without Scottie Pippen by showing the Phoenix Gorilla dunking a stuffed animal Bull into a hoop from the ceiling.
– Since we’re talking about the Suns, there’s Joe Kleine. He played center for Phoenix once upon a time. Alonzo Mourning once said that Joe Kleine was the strongest center he ever played against, not Shaq. That’s neat even if it’s not true.
– Bird and Magic Johnson knew Jordan was the truth and that he was for real. Bird called him God disguised as Michael Jordan.
– Would have been nice to one of the exchanges of Scottie Pippen crushing Jerry Krause. All this backstage footage and we couldn’t get one encounter? I’m selfish. I wanted more.
Next week, The Last Dance continues at the same time and it will be two more episodes. I imagine the Rodman episode will be happening. That’s going to be fun. Maybe Kim Jung Un will make an appearance. I already can’t wait for it. Maybe they’ll get into the gambling stuff. That’ll be swell. The Last Dance was everything I thought it could be. For a moment, sports was back.
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