Look, in a basketball game sometimes things happen and sometimes things happen. Everyone knows the most important thing on a given play is the ball… but after this weekend, that may mean more things than it did before, as more and more players are swiping the ball.
NBA players have worn padding on an array of different parts of their lower bodies for years now. It started with McDavid girdles, and now NBA players often wear as many ore more leg pads than their NFL counterparts. But, for freedom of movement, hoopers just never want to wear a cup. While it’s not the collision sport that football is, it certainly is a full-contact sport.
That contact can, sometimes, yield not so great consequences. Sometimes, it is obvious and cheap. Sometimes, it’s accidental and unintentional. On Saturday night, for the second time in the series, a member of the Oklahoma city backcourt hit a member of the Houston Rockets below the belt…. In what is a disturbing trend of getting hit in the balls.
To properly get to the bottom of this, we did some investigating. Here’s what we found about NBA guys getting hit in the family jewels.
Let’s face it, these guys get heated in the course of an NBA game. Sometimes, they get very heated. But none of that would ever excuse hitting someone below the belt. Especially if it was so obvious
In each of these clips, the violator didn’t even try to hide their intentions. There is no excuse for something any of these guys, or folks like them, could have been doing.
But what about someone more sneaky? Is it possible to make it look like, or perhaps even actually be, an accident? If it’s woven into a basketball move, is it better? Do we buy that it isn’t intentional?
OK, so maybe that second one wasn’t so sneaky. But are arms and legs the only thing guys can use to hit other guys in their, well, guy parts?
Ok but to be fair, Scola and Kevin Love had a history of violence… and that could have just been an unfortunate way to keep the ball. Right? No one would ever just hit someone in the balls with, well, the ball and not be discreet, right?
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A46T6XdK3UE&w=560&h=315]
Oof… Well, ok. So maybe these are just wild, completely random occurrences, right?
Well, that’s also wrong. There’s one player that, for whatever reason, must have magnets in his groin area. Steven Adams, for whatever reason, cannot stop getting hit in the balls while playing basketball. While his personality exudes a toughness head and shoulders above any other NBA player, he has at least one (or two) clear weak points. For the duration of his career, it’s the only way he’s ever shown weakness.
In fact, the Big Kiwi has been hit in the kiwis so many times there’s an entire compilation of it…
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Qu_FwSnABw&w=560&h=315]
Ok, so sometimes this happens, right? Like there clearly is a disproportionate number of times NBA players get nut tapped and there may be nothing the NBA could do. The league tackled the Draymond issue in 2016, and it’s not like anyone else in the NBA has a problem with constantly hitting other dudes in the groin, right?
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3a-uuxbgGg&w=560&h=315]
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTkTi-dUoTE&w=560&h=315]
Oof… Well, ok ok ok… But what does that have to do with last Saturday? I mean, what’s the connection?
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nt_bkWAblQE&w=560&h=315]
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7f_xmNWt9M&w=560&h=315]
Ok, after understanding the evidence, here are a few things we can clearly see:
- Dennis Schroeder wanted to be sneaky but he clearly does NOT want the smoke. PJ Tucker is much larger, stronger, and has a longer wingspan for the fight that would have broken out had no one held him back. Schroeder seemed to cower, in an effort to be sure he came off as a non-aggressor… Even if he was well-practiced.
- Speaking of well-practiced, why does this continue to follow Chris Paul around wherever he goes? Why does his hand just magically end up at just below other players’ belt buckles? I get he’s the NBPA president, but shouldn’t the league look into that?
- With two guys that enjoy hitting others in the private area, and one guy that seems to get hit there way too often, will someone please monitor the Oklahoma City Thunder practices? It feels like that intrasquad scrimmage is an “accident” waiting to happen.
- How has Nike, Adidas, or Under Armour not made some flexible, moveable, cup that is basketball specific? The NBA only doled out a $25,000 fine to Dennis Schroeder and PJ Tucker (yes, you read that right… PJ got hit in the junk and fined), and it doesn’t appear that he, or any other NBA player but definitely not the one he shares a backcourt with, will be deterred. If they’re going to just let them do this, shouldn’t the athletes be protected? and if they’re going to need protective equipment, I’d imagine Nike, Adidas, and Under Armour want in on the sales.
- How many times can one player or team be guilty of an “accident” before it is no longer an accident?
I’m not one to say I have all of the answers. But I can say that some guys will clearly do whatever it takes to get away from a defender or screener, even if it involves taking the low road.
For more things basketball, football, jokes, or otherwise, follow me on Twitter @painsworth512 for more, and give our podcast “F” In Sports a listen wherever you listen to podcasts!
