I don’t know many of the players that will be selected in the 2020 NBA Draft. The chances are, you don’t either, be honest, after Anthony Edwards and Lamelo Ball, are there any prospects that you are jumping out of your seat for? The NBA Draft, like any NBA Draft, will be exciting to watch if one of these three things happen. 1) An NBA star (like James Harden or Ben Simmons) is traded during the Draft. 2) Top NBA picks are traded (especially if a team trades up to the top three in the draft). 3) The Knicks mess up with their draft selection (this one is inevitable but not nearly as fun since the fans won’t be crammed into bars to sigh unanimously).
In terms of the Draft itself, it’s hard to place much care or interest in it either. The analogy for the NBA Draft is like watching a minor league baseball game. Everyone is collectively bored after a few innings. Without fail, the NBA Draft bores me after three, five, or even ten draft picks. Like minor league baseball, there needs to be an incentive or motivation for the continued watching. This is why I will be grading every player, coaches, and executives set-up for the NBA Draft. With the pandemic starting to take another turn for the worse, the NBA will be having the Draft virtually. Like the NFL, we saw many cool and inspiring set-ups for the Draft. Here will be the grading system for the set-ups and backgrounds of each person in the Draft.
Players
The Players will have all the spotlight on them. For many, this is the biggest day of their life and it will be an exciting moment to hear their name called. We won’t focus on that aspect, rather we will look at the backgrounds and other factors that will make the moment they get drafted feel greater. Every element that players will be graded on will be on a scale of 1 (bad) to 3 (good).
Family
Naturally, the family is going to be present during the draft. It’s always nice to watch the entire family cheer and embrace the star just selected. For this grade, the more family members the better. This means that cousins, relationship members, neighborhood friends, and even pets will receive more points.
Is there more than One Couch?
If yes, than points are awarded, if not, than no points. Chairs do not count for points. Now you might be wondering “how can all these players afford couches? After all, they weren’t being paid from the college that they went to right?” So assuming these players couldn’t afford couches, you have to keep in mind that their agents already have them prepared. An NBA agents might have already endorsed a player and thus a couch can be in play. These points will likely reward the top picks.
Lighting
Like many of us who were forced to work online, we have been trying to construct the ideal set-up for work or school. A good lighting system is a key to anything virtual. For anyone who we see during the Draft, we hope to see a well-lit room. This will be graded on a 1 (bad) to 2 (good) scale since there is either bad lighting or good lighting but not much in between.
No Shoes = Service
A basketball player’s career requires them to constantly wear shoes. It’s part of playing the game of basketball. For the only time in these young player’s careers, I want to see them not wear shoes. From the moment they are drafted, they will be required to wear sneakers and likely be sponsored by one of the big companies. If a player is in their house, on one of their couches, they should be able to flex those socks.
Coaches/Executives
While head coaches and executives have different roles in creating a championship contender, both will be graded with the same metrics. It’s likely we won’t see all the coaches or general managers on draft night (don’t expect a cutaway to LeBron at any point) but we will see enough to declare a winner of the Draft night. Here are the elements that will be scored.
Multiple Screens
When the NFL Draft was on in April, we saw many unique setups. The ones that were the most exciting were the ones with multiple phones, laptops, TVs, and other devices that provide a screen. All the screens make you wonder if the coaches or executive owned them, to begin with, or if they were bought just for the Draft night. Regardless, screens for coaches and executives are like family to players, the more the merrier.
Basketball stuff in the Background
This should be obvious. As basketball coaches or executives, you should naturally have basketball stuff in your house. This should include, basketballs, jerseys, banners, photos that are related to basketball, and so on. Over the years, it has to be assumed that there has been a surplus of items collected that are related to the sport. The Draft is the prime opportunity to show off the items to the NBA fans across the globe.
Books (especially Books on Basketball) in the Background
For those that have tried to create the ideal background for virtual work, they know that books are a key part of the creation of a great background. They show us who you are in your personality and they let the public know that you read Infinite Jest. It has to be assumed that the smart minds of the coaches and executives have read in their life. We have to assume that these executives are going to show us that they read some analytical books about basketball.
No Suit = Service
Like the shoes for the players, this will be the rare opportunity that these coaches and executives will not need to wear a suit. Simply put, do you wear a suit in your house? If so, why? This draft is taking place virtually. We should hope many of the coaches and executives should be having fun drafting from their houses.
Of course this can all fall flat and we won’t have a winner
Of course, it’s possible that the coaches and executives will be working from a war room and this whole grading system is thrown out the window. It’s also possible that every NBA prospect gets the call from their basement (and therefore no grades). It’s also possible that the NBA isn’t going to cut to every player and once again this whole grading system will be out of whack. Regardless, we will watch the draft and hope for a fun time. The grades will only happen in the first round, not the second round in case you were wondering.
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