Do you feel it? The excitement of the NBA season is here! You survived a global pandemic, you deserve this feeling. Basketball is back, baby! Time for some preseason NBA Awards!
Back by popular demand (at least in my mind), The Bellies recognize excellence pretty good-ness in the NBA.
You probably thought that feeling had something to do with holiday cheer. You’re probably hoping that feeling has nothing to do with that eggnog from your office party (Peter told you that stuff was sitting in the conference room for two days unrefrigerated, but you didn’t listen, did you?).
I’m pretty sure that it is all about ball!
Now, you can’t have a basketball season with out the Bellies,. These are Belly Up Hoops official awards celebrating the NBA in all of its pull up three-shooting glory!
*Disclaimer
The ideas expressed in this article are not officially sanctioned by any of the intelligent, wonderful, and fine-smelling people of the Belly Up Hoops Department- just Chaka, who we can’t seem to get rid of!
Now we got that out of the way (you happy, now, Belly Up Legal Department?), let’s get this show on the road. Welcome to the Bellies: Pandemic Edition (Still?! I mean, what the hell, 2020, just end already)!
Question I’m Already Sick of and the Season Hasn’t Started Yet Preseason NBA Awards: Where Will James Harden Be Traded?
The first Belly (stop laughing!) of the night goes to James Larden… I mean, Harden! This seems stunningly appropriate based on the latest in-game pictures we’ve seen during the preseason. Apparently, Harden dropping a 50-burger has multiple meanings!
Anyway, this NBA Belly Up Hoops Award is all about the dragging out of the James Harden saga in Houston. The writing is on the wall. James Harden‘s days in H-Town are numbered and Mr. Harden is going to eat at every buffet before he leaves town (okay, that’s my last fat joke, I mean it).
The Possibilities
The possibilities of where Harden lands, and the impact it has on the NBA landscape, are varied and numerous. Will it be Brooklyn, Philadelphia, Milwaukee, maybe Toronto? That sound you heard was Jade Johnson throwing up in her mouth.
This was fun conversation… two weeks ago! Like the incredible philosopher, Marshall Mathers, said:
“Whatever is going to happen, it needs to happen now.”
Eminem, 8 Mile
Seriously, because Harden is hungry… for a championship (ha, I got you there, didn’t I? Admit it!).
Almost Honorable Mention: Will Giannis Antetokounmpo Sign an Extension with the Bucks?
Thank you, Greek Freak, for removing this question from the NBA stratosphere early on this season. Giannis inked a deal with Milwaukee for the Super Max of 5-years, $228 million. This Knicks fan couldn’t take this type of speculation and the subsequent disappointment.
Coach That Will Most Regret Signing That Contract This Past off Season Preseason NBA Awards: Tom Thibodeau
Listen, I get it! There are only so many NBA head coaching jobs. So if you want one, you kind of have to take what you can get, in most instances.
Do you think Tom Thibideau regrets taking the Knicks job? He signed in July, before the Pelicans, Sixers, and Clippers all came open after Bubble City wrapped up.
Well, at least you get to live in New York! As a native I know you can enjoy fine dining. Don’t forget unprecedented cultural opportunities, and some of the best schools in the world.
You better love that stuff. Working with James Dolan ain’t going to be a picnic in Central Park.
Good luck signing any free agents, as well. Obi Toppin and R.J. Barrett had better hit because, to paraphrase that rat-bastard Rick Pitino, Willis Reed ain’t walking through that door; Patrick Ewing ain’t walking through that door. And, frankly, neither is any meaningful addition this coming off season.
Honorable Mention: Stephen Silas
Congrats to Stephen Silas on getting his first NBA head coaching gig! This is well deserved after many years of being an excellent assistant coach.
My condolences for that job being in Houston. Tilman Fertitta is in the same rarified and toxic air of James Dolan.
Player the Media Is Trying to Give the MVP Award to Before We Even Play a Game Preseason NBA Awards: Luka Doncic
Luka Doncic is a stud. There is very little question that he is the future of the NBA. Both on the court, and with global marketing appeal off the court, that title rests with Slovenia’s finest.
It would be nice, though, if we saved the NBA MVP talk until after we’ve -played a few games. I mean, let’s at least play one game, no?
Vegas, obviously, thinks I’m an idiot (and, frankly, they wouldn’t be the first). The odds from Vegas Insider have Luka as the +400 favorite to win the MVP this season. This is followed by the reigning, defending, two-time MVP Giannis (+425). Then comes former MVP’s Stephen Curry (+500) and King James (+700).
I wish Luka all the best!
As a Knicks fan, his running mate Kristaps Porzingis can kick rocks. He’d probably miss three weeks with a strained big toe if he did. Soft!
Honorable Mention: Kevin Durant
Kevin Durant is at +1000 on the Vegas insider odds. You give me the list of guys that tore their achilles and came back to win an MVP Award. I mean, in any sport. I’ll wait!
Player That the Media Will Try to Give the MVP Award to Once We Start Playing Games Preseason NBA Awards: Devin Booker
I’ll keep trying to make you look like a smart basketball fan. Just trust the knowledge your boy drops.
Devin Booker is going to make a run for MVP this year. That’s Gwen Stefani (that means no doubt for you young-lings on the site).
Reason Number One:
Did you see how Book dominated the Bubble?! He went off in leading the Phoenix Suns to an undefeated run in Orlando. Booker finished the season averaging a career-high 26.6 PPG. Then, he raised his level in Disney World by dropping over 30 per game! Uncle Mo has a room in Devin’s mansion.
Reason Number Two
Phoenix will be good this year. The Bubble will be fresh on the minds of Book and Deandre Ayton. All the Suns did was add Chris Paul in the off season. I mean the real Chris Paul, not Carlton from the Fresh Prince in some lame commercial. Check Mr. Paul’s resume to see how he elevates both himself and his squad in the first season with a new team. Booker is primed to be on the receiving end of this boost.
Reason Number Three
He still has a chip on his shoulder. He’s trying to prove to haters that he’s worthy of that $158 million dollar deal he signed a couple of years ago. It might look like a steal, now; not everyone thought so back in 2018, though. Who knows, maybe he’ll even make the All-Star Team, although my money is on All-NBA. Apparently, so is Booker’s money, based on the escalators in his contract.
Honorable Mention: Jamal Murray
Yeah, I went to the University of Kentucky. Why do you ask?
Never mind. Just remember that it was Jamal Murray that was the CAT-alyst (Go Big Blue!!!) to the Nuggets coming back to stun the L.A. Clippers. If you think the run to the Western Conference Finals in Bubble City was a fluke, you’re going to learn something this season!
I’m Hella Smart Because I Knew This Guy Was Going to Have a Breakout Season Award: Colin Sexton
Admit it. You don’t know a damn thing about Colin Sexton, do you?
Cleveland wasn’t in the Bubble. It isn’t like you got to see him shine in front of Mickey and Minnie during the pandemic play-in.
Know this, though, Mr. Sexton is only 22-years-old. He was already putting up over 20 PPG before Rudy Gobert brought an end to our NBA world last March.
Cleveland doesn’t have a ton of scoring options.
Kevin Love is a shell of the shell of himself he was when LeBron brought him to Cleveland and carried him to a title in 2016. Tristan Thompson bounced to Boston this off season.
Andre Drummond will get his. Now Colin Sexton will still have the ball in his hands to create offense. Plus he’ll have a green light to let the world know that he is going to be a problem!
Don’t be surprised when he is up for the Most Improved Player Award. Seriously, because I’m telling you right now. He will be up for that award to put on his shelf right next to his Belly!
Honorable Mention: Zion Williamson
Maybe this isn’t much of a reach. Between injuries and minutes restrictions, however, you may have forgotten Zion Williamson was even in the NBA last year.
Well, he’s healthy and the the handcuffs are off!
NBA rims everywhere are trembling with fear. I imagine poster sales in New Orleans will be through the roof, so there’s a bright side. Unless you are the defender that tries to jump with him on the fast break, that is.
Well, friends, that is all for another rousing Belly Up Hoops Awards show. Thank you for wearing your mask the entire time. And pull that damn thing over your nose. You know who you are! Please have your tickets ready for the valet to grab your vehicles.
