For once in my life, I won’t get sick hearing an “E-A-G-L-E-S, Eagles!” chant. I won’t lose my lunch staring at those putrid green jerseys. I won’t even argue if I hear someone say “Fly Eagles fly”.
On Sunday and Sunday only, I will root for the Philadelphia Eagles. As a lifelong and diehard fan of the New York Giants, the aforementioned chants and cheers for the G-Men’s most hated rival have always caused me physical pain. My ears have bled from hearing Philly fans spell out their team name. My eyes have watered from watching them flap their arms like an incoherent bird trying to fly for the first time.
When the Eagles take on the Washington Football Team this Sunday, I will be foolishly flapping along with the rest of Philadelphia. This sudden change of heart obviously stems from my 5-10 New York Giants still having a chance at a playoff spot and a division title. With a Giants win and a Washington loss, Big Blue will play in the postseason for the first time since 2016.
NFC East is up for grabs in Week 17:
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) December 28, 2020
∙ Washington: Win and they’re in the playoffs
∙ Cowboys/Giants: Winner of this game gets in if Washington loses to the Eagles pic.twitter.com/h3a4PR8vna
Who wouldn’t want to see a 6-win team, without their star running back and with their general manager on the hot seat, in the playoffs?
The Perfect Storm
With Alex Smith still dealing with his calf injury and Dwayne Haskins walking right out of FedEx Field and into the strip club, Taylor Heinicke will potentially start for Washington this weekend. Heinicke took over for Haskins in the Football Team’s loss to Carolina on Sunday and finished with an honorable stat line. If the likes of Brandon Graham and Fletcher Cox can’t make the third stringer uncomfortable all day, it will truly solidify the Eagles organization as my least favorite collection of humans in America.
However, aside from all of my hopes and dreams riding on an Eagles win, the Giants still have to hold up their end of the bargain. They’ll host a somewhat unhealthy, yet rolling Dallas Cowboys team at MetLife Stadium on Sunday. The Cowboys have won three in a row and seem to be peaking at the perfect time. I can only hope Mike McCarthy doesn’t smash another watermelon in the locker room during his pregame speech.
#Cowboys owner Jerry Jones on Mike McCarthy’s watermelon smashing ways on @GMFB: “Our team was inspired. I don’t know if it was the watermelons, but they were inspired. If it takes knocking the water out of a watermelon before every game, I’ll line up for that.”
— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) November 25, 2020
It Hurts So Good
My biggest concern lies in the matchup between a pedestrian Eagles offense facing a stout Washington defense. Chase Young was named a team captain last week and the extra motivation for Number 99 scares me. With Washington allowing 21 points-per-game and Philly scoring right around the same per contest, it should be a close game. Can Jalen Hurts shine under the lights of Sunday Night Football and play the role of spoiler? One can only hope and, as of this week, the rookie from Alabama is my favorite quarterback in the NFC East.
Highest-graded rookie edge defenders since 2015:
— PFF (@PFF) December 29, 2020
1. Nick Bosa, 49ers (2019) – 89.8
2. Chase Young, WFT (2020) – 87.7
3. Joey Bosa, Chargers (2016) – 86.6 pic.twitter.com/jGEmyTil4B
I would’ve never expected those disgusting words to come out of my mouth, but in 2020 it seems to make sense. I don’t care if Doug Pederson is immediately fired after this game. I’d care even less if the Eagles moved on from Carson Wentz and started to rebuild following this season. For now I need those ugly green jerseys to ruin Washington’s season like they have ruined the Giants’ so many times in the past.
For now, all I can say is “fly Eagles fly”. Hopefully this weekend is the last time I ever do.
