The information powerbroker of the NBA, Adrian Wojnarowski, recently apologized on twitter after he told a Missouri Senator “Fuck you” in an email. Woj is known for breaking NBA stories about trades, signings, and draft selections before the deals are finished. At times, players and franchises are upset at Woj for intercepting these deals before the parties can properly inform one another. The internet has coined the phrase “Woj Bomb” whenever he breaks one of these stories. Instead, this story is about an F-bomb.
Don’t criticize #China or express support for law enforcement to @espn. It makes them real mad @Outkick pic.twitter.com/WJDxrotUBD
— Josh Hawley (@HawleyMO) July 10, 2020
I strongly advised against anyone picking a battle with the hivemind that is Woj. The C.I.A and K.G.B both fear him for the type of blackmail that he has saved in his drafted tweets. Fully typed out and just waiting for him to drop a Woj Bomb that could cripple an entire nation. When Woj was still working for Yahoo in 2016, he would force the mighty NBA and ESPN to bend their knees to him. He spoiled every single pick of the NBA draft that year and basically made the televised event worthless to watch. It got so bad that ESPN had to hire him so they could pay him to stop spoiling their event. Below I have listed some of the dastardly ways Woj has used his collection of information to ruin people’s lives.
Woj Bomb Hit List
1. Woj tweeted the name and gender of a rival NBA reporter’s firstborn child before the wife even knew she was pregnant. – Woj Pregnancy Bomb
2. When Woj was in high school, he was the editor of his school’s paper. One time this kid named S(h)am took his unassigned, assigned seat in his history of pottery class. Woj couldn’t let this slight just go unpunished. He broke the news that Sam’s parents are in the process of getting divorced due to the father’s infidelity. This was news to Sam, and also news to Sam’s mother. They weren’t actually in the process of getting a divorce, but once Sam’s mom read the story it was a done deal. – Woj Divorce Bomb
3. Woj was about to tweet the ending of Game of Thrones because the writers wouldn’t rename the character of Little Finger into Lil Woj. HBO and their army of interns caught wind of this. They had the writers scramble to rewrite the ending so there was enough time to film it. That’s why the show had such a horrible ending. – Woj Dracarys Bomb
4. In 2008, Woj knew the housing bubble in America was close to popping. Instead of running in the streets like Paul Revere to warn the country, Woj shorted the housing market and made a killing on stocks. He used the wealth he just assumed to start building the intricate web of spies he uses to collect information. – Woj Big Short Bomb
5. When Woj was in the 3rd grade, his parents didn’t get him the Power Ranger toy he wanted. He wanted the Yellow Ranger Sabertooth Tiger and instead got the Red Ranger T-Rex. So next Christmas, he wrote a letter to all his cousins that Santa wasn’t real and to invest in something called Amazon. – Woj Christmas Bomb
Final Thoughts
All jokes aside, Woj is not some horrible human being. He has written hit pieces on players and agents who have refused to let him in on deals. Woj has also used his power to leverage himself into a position to gain more power. But who in his position hasn’t? I respect him for ascending to the pinnacle of his profession. He hustled and worked tirelessly to be the modern NBA guru he is now. Also, not many people can have the steel to tell a senator to fuck off. Woj is as part of the NBA as any player. If the NBA is truly the player empowerment league, why shouldn’t the empowerment also extend to its writers?
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