Everyone’s read a BuzzFeed article. You’re scrolling through Twitter and suddenly a link to “Pick Your Favorite Cheese and We’ll Tell You What Show to Watch Right Now!” and you’re drawn to it like a fat kid to cake. I’ve done it, I’m certainly not proud of it, but I’ve done it.
Amidst all the bullshit that is BuzzFeed articles, I bring you HummNews – The Anti BuzzFeed. HummNews will be everything BuzzFeed is, without all the suck. I will meticulously scan every tweet they post, article they write, and opinion they have looking for ways to undermind and one-up them. Like the creepy guy from high school who just found your Instagram, I’ll be watching their every move. Last week, they slipped up.
Victorious? The show that spawned the biggest pop star in the last 10 years? Who cares where everyone else is, Arianna Grande blew the fuck up. When I see these “Then vs. Now” things I want to see people I don’t know about. I want to know if the guy who played Barney really was arrested for having drugs in his tail. (He didn’t, but he did end up in a pretty interesting spot.)
Here at HummNews, we decided to look at where BuzzFeed fell flat. Good idea, wrong show, wrong cast. So we did what should’ve been done all along.
Here’s What The Cast of “Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide” Looks Like Then Vs. Now
Devon Werkheiser – Ned Bigby
Has anyone heard a lick about Ol’Neddy since this show ended? He’s been in a few movies and shows over the years, most of which got pretty bad reviews. But apparently, the man’s got pipes. His song ‘If Eyes Could Speak” has over 1.1 million plays on Spotify. I’ll be honest not a huge fan of his music, but his voice is not half bad. Also, it’s amazing what a little hair gel can do for a guy.
Lindsey Shaw – Jennifer ‘Moze’ Mosely
OH MY GOD, SHE LOOKS……….exactly the same as she did in 2004. Lindsey Shaw has actually been in some shows I’ve heard of which is surprising. She peaked in 2007 when she was in the music video for Nickelback’s ‘Rockstar’. Aside from her greatest achievement, she was in the 10 Things I Hate About You series, as well as Pretty Little Liars for a brief stint. She played one of the most disliked characters on the show and she must’ve done a really good job with the part because the hate spilled over into real life. What kind of low-life, garbage human being do you have to be to get so invested in a show that you start bully the cast? Pathetic.
Daniel Curtis Lee – Simon “Cookie” Nelson-Cook
Get a load of his GQ lookin’ ass. What a glow up for this man. He went from the first owner of the google glass to a young Denzel. There’s not much to say about reverse Jamie Lee Curtis besides the fact that he looks like he’s ready to be the next Bachelor.
Rob Pinkston – Coconut Head
I had to include Coconut Head because he’s Coconut Head, but it turns out there is not really much going on in Rob Pinkston’s life since Ned’s. He’s just kind of….a guy. Also, that was a wig so he’s hardly even more handsome than before.
Christian Serratos – Suzie Crabgrass
Hell-fucking-O Suzie Crabgrass. No doubt the biggest success story to come out of Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide, Serratos has stared in all of the Twilight movies, as well as The Walking Dead since season 4. She also had a shot at going to the Olympics for figure skating but didn’t really want to. Oh, and she’s a smoking hot model that was number 65 on Maxim’s Hot 100 list in 2010 and was featured in the March 2015 Playboy ‘After Hours’ section. It’s no wonder Ned was in love with her for so long (chances are Cookie’s gotta better shot with her at this point).
