The Last Dance, which aired on Sunday night (and that I did a phenomenal job reviewing) was the biggest sporting event since quarantine life began eons ago. I knew that would be short-lived because the NFL Draft was right around the corner and it’s actually a sporting event that will affect what happens on the field as opposed to a documentary which doesn’t.
Obviously, this will be the most unique draft of any sport ever due to the current pandemic. The draft was originally supposed to be held in Las Vegas, which would have been awesome. We don’t get to witness that type of fun. Instead, we’re getting a virtual NFL Draft, with war rooms located in GMs and coaches homes with a commissioner rattling off picks from his dungeon basement as if he’s the one friend in your fantasy league that moved away.
It’s certainly going to be weird but will definitely have hilarious moments. It will also include one of the more fascinating drafts in recent memory due to all the uncertainty with the quarterbacks. It’s a quarterback-driven league so it’s only fitting that this is a quarterback-driven draft. I’m a Dolphins fan, so I know that Miami controls the entire draft. It means, I’m going to need this game to keep the edge off.
So like I’ve done the past few years, I’ve put together an NFL Draft Drinking Game that should really enhance anyone’s NFL Draft experience assuming you’re of age to consume alcoholic beverages. Also, goes without saying though I’m going to say it anyway, don’t be a dick and drink and drive. Given the current state of our society, you shouldn’t have too many good reasons to be driving anyways. But, don’t be a moron and think drinking and driving is a good plan, especially if you adhere to the rules of the drinking game. Be smart. That being said, onto the rules of the 2020 NFL Drinking Game.
Drink Once…
- If an announcer says that a guy is a workhorse/has a high motor/student of the game/leader/has intangibles you can’t teach/does well in the film or classroom/is fiery/freak athlete/a project
- If anyone mentions the term “big board”
- If the phrases “character concerns or off the field issues” is said
- If an announcer says the word “need” or “best player available”
- If someone says a team is “listening to calls”
- If Trey Wingo calls Adam Schefter “Schefty”
- Whenever you see a player on a phone
Drink Twice…
- If an announcer uses the phrase “mortgage the future”
- If they show the Henry Ruggs’ Dunking video
- If anyone mentions that Mekhi Becton had a failed drug test
- If anyone mentions Tua or anyone’s Wonderlic score
- If anyone says that Tua would have been the number one pick if it weren’t for the hip injury
- If the word Skype or Zoom is mentioned
- Every time there is a trade
- If someone says that Chase Young is number one on everyone’s board
- If a fan base BOOS their own draft pick
- If a player gets drafted and Kiper or McShay said that he had him as a second to third-round pick
- If any coach, GM or, anyone’s pets make an appearance on camera
- If Mel Kiper and Todd McShay argue over a player or about anything
- If a coach or GM’s family walks by or is in the background of their camera
- If someone says this is the deepest wide receiver class of all time
- If they show or mention Justin Herbert’s Senior Bowl highlights
- If and sadly when someone mentions that we don’t know when the off-season activities will start or when there will even be a season.
- If anyone mentions that you shouldn’t sleep on the Patriots taking a TE to replace Gronk
- If they show Rich Eisen’s 40 time
Drink Thrice…
- If anyone mentions or if they show a picture of Laremy Tunsil’s gas mask
- If four quarterbacks get drafted in the first round
- If anyone mentions that Lamar Jackson will be on the cover of Madden 21
- If anyone mentions that Joe Burrow may not play for the Bengals
- If someone mentions that if Al Davis was around then he’d have to take Henry Ruggs
- If Sean Payton is drinking a beer
- If someone says Isiah Simmons is a “Jack-of-all-trades or a Swiss army knife”
- If someone mention’s that Alabama quarterbacks haven’t panned out
- If someone mentions Joe Namath as being the last Alabama quarterback to be good in the NFL
- If anyone says that the Jaguars appear to be tanking so that they can get Trevor Lawrence next year
Finish Your Beverage…
- If they show footage of when Aaron Rodgers sat in the green room for hours back in 2005
- If Roger Goodell gets booed in any fashion whether it’s virtual booing or his own family
- If something happens that’s as crazy as the Laremy Tunsil gas mask situation. Use your judgment
- If there’s a montage of Mel Kiper’s hair over the years
- If they show or mention the time the Vikings ran out of time and missed their pick
- If anyone’s internet connection screws up and the whole production is paused
If you feel that there are to many rules and that it’s impossible to play this without dying, be smart about things. Given the levels of cabin fever that have set in with everybody, I didn’t want to go light. Again, drink responsibility, stay the hell home and lets….
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