In 2020, we are seeing athletes, sponsors, and fans ask their sports teams and universities to make a real change to their image across the sports landscape. One easy, simplistic way to begin that change is through language and imagery. Changing a name may be a tangible step in moving in the right direction both morally and logically. The Washington Racial Slurs have said they will change their name (and we had some ideas), the Cleveland Indians have debated their own name, (and we had some other ideas), but does every name change happen because they’re offensive to a group of people? What if some names are just bad? The NBA has some that are just bad.
Today, with the NBA officially coming back this week, the crew looks at three NBA teams who need a mascot makeover: the Utah Jazz, the New York Knicks, and the Sacramento Kings. Each of these three NBA team names needs to be changed because they’ve been outdated (if they were ever really any good in the first place).
This week, as the NBA comes back, we’re going to TRIPLE up and come up with some ways to help out these teams. Yes, that’s right… we’re each going to come up with a new name for EACH of these teams.
Read them through, make your votes, and let us know if you’ve got any better ideas in the comments below! Should we look at exploring these, or some other NBA team, a lot more? Share!
Parker’s Team: Utah Jazz
The story behind the Utah Jazz is similar, albeit older. The Utah Jazz relocated to Salt Lake City in 1979. The Jazz basketball team originated, just like Jazz music, in New Orleans. In their inaugural season, the New Orleans Jazz traded for LSU star and Hall of Fame point guard Pete Maravich. Much like the creativity of a Jazz musician, Maravich led the Jazz basketball team with creative and “adlibbed” ball handling that was ahead of his time.
Instead of changing to a more regional mascot, the Jazz kept their name when they moved to Utah. Maravich was waived in their first season in Utah, and the franchise keeping the name felt a lot like a band keeping their name after a lead singer departs. The Utah Jazz have, forever since, been an oddly named franchise in the heart of the Wasatch Mountains.
(It should be noted, had the Jazz made some sort of a regional play on the Shoshone or Mormonism… they may have been the subject of a more serious edition of Mascot Madness.)
Parker’s Idea: The Utah Miners
Ok so yes, in Utah, spelling MINERS correctly (as opposed to “Minors”) may be an important distinction… but the mining economy is a key facet of the state. The Miners could offer a cool name that plays off the blue-collar toughness of a Utahan, and it wouldn’t require too much of a total rebrand.
Utah already utilizes a large variety of color schemes that play off of nature in Salt Lake City. They have their traditional uniforms that use dark blues, yellows, and a hint of green to play off of the lake itself, and the surrounding forestry. They also have a very unique yellow-to-red gradient uniform playing off of the desert skies. Both kits would play well towards representing a Miner.
Miners work in nature, underground, from sun up to sundown. They are hardworking and fearless, and an important part of the economy because they pull out valuable metals from the soil. Some may say it’s too close in resemblance to the Denver Nuggets branding… but the NBA has two bird-related mascots (Hawks and Pelicans), two horned-mammal mascots (Bulls and Bucks), two mountainous wild mammals (Grizzlies and Timberwolves), and two teams that have a horse as a mascot (Mavericks and Pistons). They can live with two references to the mining culture.
Chaka’s Team: New York Knicks
The idea of the New York Knicks really makes no sense (in so…many…ways)!
The history is that the original owner wanted a name that represented New York, so Knickerbocker was one of the choices based on Washington Irving’s book The History of New York. The nickname was based on the original Dutch settlers and the pants they wore.
You heard that right; the team is named after some pants!
In one of the most diverse cities in the world, the limited world view of taking on a dutch nickname seems short-sighted.
And being named after some slacks is just dumb!
How about a name that describes New Yorkers for, well, being unapologetically New York?!
Listen, as someone who grew up in The City, we embrace all of the terms that are thrown at us. We’re rude; okay. We’re tough; damn straight! We talk fast, we’re loud, we don’t do small talk; yeah, this is a New Yorker.
We are also bound together in the name of Gotham. Terrorists fly airplanes into the towers, we rise up. COVID-19 ravages the city, we rally to have one of the best responses in the country to date.
I love New York! The team needs a name that better reflects the unabashed love New Yorkers have for their city.
Chaka’s Idea: New York Gullies
The term “Gully” is a slang term invented, where else, in New York. When you are described as “Gully”, that means you are real; you are genuine- authentic.
Find a tough lookin’ bird mascot (playing off of seagulls) and change the name to the New York Gullies. It is original and it plays off of what the founding owners wanted: a name that feels genuinely like New York!
Time for a rebrand; the Knicks are a laughing stock that has seen better days long ago. Let’s get new ownership and get a team that really represents!
Gully ‘til we die, baby!
Kev’s Team: Sacramento Kings
What’s the most offensive thing to an American? Royalty, of course! So many men lived and died to make sure we lived under a democracy, not the whims of some royal. Long gone are the days of the inbred Hapsburgs or the ancient Windsors (they’ve only been in power since 1917, but the queen is OLD). This is America goddammit, and if we don’t like who’s in charge, we can vote them out. Why on earth do we have a team honoring the old ways of doing things?
Kev’s proposed team name: Sacramento Sound
Sacramento is the largest metropolitan area in the Central Valley, a region with a lot of history, specifically music history. This is overshadowed by LA to the south/west, but no more! In the southern Central Valley lies Bakersfield, the home of Bakersfield Sound. This is a type of country music influenced by rock, and was a reaction to the “slickly produced, orchestra-laden Nashville sound”. With huge artists such as Merle Haggard being originators of the Bakersfield Sound, it’s only right Sacramento pays homage to this, and reminds people the California music scene has more to offer than the southern coast.
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