No, you didn’t read that wrong, and no, it’s not a typo. The ghost fiancé of a woman ghosted her.
2020 has been a weird year. We started with Australia literally being on fire, then moved onto a possible WWIII, and finally settled on a worldwide pandemic. Things are weird, so of course this headline is a thing.
The Story: Ghosts Gone Wild
Amethyst (because of course that’s her name) met the sexy specter, Ray, on a 2018 Australian vacation. They immediately hit it off, and she took him home Britain with her. Ray even got to join the Mile High Club on the way back, as the two got physical on the flight home. After nine months, Ray popped the question, and the two got engaged. Amethyst found true love at last, after cheating on her ex-fiancé with a ghost, and then becoming an ectoplasm dumpster, sleeping with around twenty spirits.
Or so she thought. After going on vacation to Thailand, Ray came back a changed man, and Amethyst believes he fell in with a bad crowd. Ray would disappear for days, then come back with some ghost friends who would just hangout, do drugs, and party. Due to this change in behavior, Amethyst has announced the leaders of the ghost-human sexual relations movement have called off their engagement.
My Questions
Now, when any high profile couple splits up, there are important questions. When it’s the ghost fiancé of a woman, those questions get weird. Well, don’t worry folks, I have Ray here with me, and we’re going to get to the bottom of this.
Ray, is Amethyst blowing things out of proportion?
“No Kev, to be honest I did disappear for a few days at a time. While we were in Thailand, I was talking to some friends from out there, and over half of them had slept with Amethyst. Now, I’m not saying someone can’t have a sexual past. It did feel like Amethyst had a type though, and I felt as if she didn’t love me for me, but she loved me for my ethereal form.”
Can you you elaborate on the ghosts you’d bring home?
“Ok, I lied. That was a bit extreme on her part. I told her my friends were coming over, and my brother. I wanted her to meet them before the wedding, because they were going to be my groomsmen. Part of the reason I was getting second thoughts was also how she reacted to them. They say [ghosts] leave cold spots, but Amethyst’s cold behavior towards them was inexcusable.”
Ok, what about the drug use Amethyst alleged in her interview?
“Kev… c’mon man. I’m a ghost. I can’t inhale, snort, or inject anything. How could I do drugs?”
Good point. Last question, then I’ll let you get out of here. Any truth to Sam Darnold seeing ghosts?
“No comment.”
There you have it folks. The ghost fiancé, Ray, himself, breaking down the break up. I want to give a huge shoutout to Ray for taking some time out of his busy schedule to give Belly Up an exclusive interview.
And Amethyst, if you see this, I have a question for you: who you gonna call?
Last note: if I get killed, possessed, or haunted for writing a really shitty joke article, so be it.
For all your ghost related needs, follow me on Twitter (@BellyUpKev) and check out Belly Up Sports for all things spooky during October
