Football fans are not sane human beings. We gamble with our health – both mental and physical – week in and week out watching the games. We eat, sleep, and breathe any sort of football game, content, or information we can get our hands-on. No matter your vice – gambling, fantasy football, or just a superfan – everyone is excited for football to come back.
One thing that has me a mental blender this year is when is football officially back? After hours of countless research – combining strenuous number crunching with years of studying the philosophy of football guys – I have finally cracked the code.
It’s actually more than one. It’s actually five unique stages that all give football fans a reason to say that beautiful, some might even say sexy, three-word phrase: “Football is back.”
The Start of Training Camp
There are very few things in the world that get football fans more excited than football season arrives. And that is marked by the start of training camp.
You turn back on Twitter notifications of your team’s most reliable beat writers. You’re constantly searching the name of your teams’ first-round pick to see how far he’s fairing in camp. It doesn’t matter whether you’re coming off a Superbowl victory (I would know); or if your team had the first overall pick, you’re looking for any piece of information to reaffirm the belief that it is definitely the year you’re going all the way.
Does anything happen on the first day of training camp? No, absolutely not. But I don’t want to hear about how they’re not even in pads. Spare me that they’re just going through the motions and working on their conditioning. No, no, no don’t tell football fans that. Football is back and I won’t hear anything else.
The Hall of Fame Game
The first live football game of the season has arrived. You’re excited after all of the Hall of Fame festivities and above all else, to watch a live game. This year, it was two of the most legendary franchises in NFL History, one of whom is featured on Hard Knocks.
You get a look at the highly-touted first-round picks like Najee Harris and Micah Parsons. Will the Cowboys improve their defense and make a run? How does Dwayne Haskins look in a Steelers jersey? How has the Steelers’ offense be improved after a disappointing end to the 2020 season? Well, how are you supposed to know if you don’t tune in?
In the grand scheme of things, it’s just another preseason game… BUT, it’s the first one. And us psychos finally have a fully televised football game to watch. And maybe if you’re a degenerate (like myself) you even placed a wager on it.
Your Team’s First Preseason Game
Finally, your beloved team is back in action. Maybe your team drafted the quarterback of the future and you get your first look at him.
Look at Bears’ fans’ reaction to Justin Fields. Look at Packers fans’ reaction to Jordan Love. It’s often a glimpse into the future, whether that future comes to fruition in Week One or a couple of years down the line, you get to see it and that is always an exciting event.
Even if you didn’t draft a quarterback, maybe that Georgia linebackers’ tape caught your eye, or you think that the corner out of Western Michigan that got drafted in the sixth round is a future difference-maker. Or who’s going to win the backup job at quarterback. It honestly doesn’t matter, we’re watching because it’s our beloved team.
One of BellyUp’s writers, Zach Martin, wrote a whole piece on the Browns’ first preseason game.
In the end, preseason games are about as useful as Phillip Rivers’ condoms. But, again, this is not a sane group of people. I will overreact to everything that happens. I will develop takes and thoughts that will, almost certainly, lose me money gambling later in the season. But, football is on so you know we’re tuning in.
Week One of College Football
The sound of tailgating, the shower beer to get prepped for a long day of drinking, the anxiety as you place your bets before a full slate of college football. Maybe you head to the bar with your buddies, maybe you have a set-up at home with multiple TVs to keep your eye on all the games, but either way, it’s an 11 AM-11 PM shift of watching football.
I will say this may be a bit of a bias for myself. I love college football, maybe even more than the NFL. The purists who say that it’s worse because of the worse execution, lower talent, lack of parity can kick rocks. That is what makes it awesome.
Rivalry games. Student sections. Kick returns, pick-sixes, and woefully bad turnovers in key moments. Texas Tech racking up 1,000+ yards and scoring 50 points in a loss, all before 2:30 PM. The chaos of a college football Saturday has arrived.
NFL Week #1
You wake up early to not miss a second. You’re finalizing your fantasy lineup and your bets for the day. You get your pizza and wings ordered, crack open a beer and sit on the couch with no intention of doing anything, other than watching football, for the rest of the day. Hopefully, you have that presentation your boss wanted by Monday done because you and I both know it’s not getting done today.
The time is ticking down, if you have half a brain you’re listening to the BellyUp preview show. It’s only thirty minutes until kickoff, but the time slowly crawls by until it’s time for the best words in the history of the world.
When Scott Hanson speaks those treasured words, the chills shoot down your spine: “Seven hours of commercial-free football.”
All the waiting is finally over. The five stages are complete. There is no doubt. Football is back, and all is well in the world.
