Look, I understand that pretty much all of us are experiencing some form of madness being essentially locked in our homes. I’m not saying that we’re living the lifestyle Henry Hill did while he was serving his time, but it’s not that many worlds apart. Unlike Hill, I get to use the internet. Unfortunately, when I get on the web, I see way too many posts about the Dolphins being the frontrunners for Cam Newton and I don’t like any of it. I get that the NFL is all closed down and nobody is doing much of anything, but it would really be clutch if Chris Grier would post a message that the Dolphins will never sign Cam Newton.

One of the things that happen when you lose track of time, like what day it is, is that you just start talking nonsense. Tom Hanks spoke to Wilson the Volley Ball for years all because his mind broke. That’s what more than a few Miami fans and some analysts are doing. They’re talking crazy. They’re saying ludicrous things such as the Dolphins should sign Cam Newton. I, honestly, don’t think that the Dolphins would sign Cam, but it’s sort of out there and I wanted to address it because what else am I to do?

The Odd’s

Here’s a fun thing to do, since I’m sure you have a spare minute or five days, type in Newton odds on Twitter and watch what pops up. Just about every professional team, regardless of sport, on the planet has some odds on landing Newton. I can’t sit here and tell you that I know where Newton is going to end up. I’ll say the Chargers over the Jaguars because I think the Chargers think they can win right now. I don’t think that, but I think they think that. I also believe the Jaguars are going to try and do what the Dolphins couldn’t and that’s a tank for Trevor Lawerence. A little heads up to Jacksonville; it won’t work. Like the League of Shadows thought Gotham would destroy itself by creating an abundance of poverty, convincing an NFL team to lose makes them fight harder.

Dolphins will run with #14

Simply put, Cam Newton doesn’t line up with what the Dolphins are doing. Miami is trying to build for the future. Sure, they have 37-year-old Ryan Fitzpatrick. But we all understand, including him, that he’s here for probably one more year. Speaking of Fitzmagic, I’d rather him over Newton anyways. That’s not to say that Fitzpatrick has had a better career than Newton, he hasn’t. I’m saying that Fitzpatrick was here last year and new/old OC Chan Gailey has worked with Fitz in the past. Also, and it sucks that I have to mention this, but with all the Covid-19 stuff looking like it has no end in sight, it’s infinity times better to have a guy who’s been here rather than bring in a brand new guy at the most important position.

The Dolphins Will Wrap This Up

Dolphins will not hopefully see Cam

The final reason I don’t want Newton is that he isn’t accurate enough for my liking. I imagine some Newton truthers will tell me Cam has improved his completion percentage over the last few years. My rebuttal to that is it’s not, terribly, difficult to check it down to Christian McCaffrey a million times a game. Instead of posting videos of him throwing weights around and posting hieroglyphics, maybe he should put a video of him throwing footballs through a tire.

The Dolphins have a real good thing going right now. I haven’t been able to say that too much in my life, but the Dolphins are trending in the right direction, for real. They murdered free agency and they have 14 picks in the NFL Draft, seven of which are in the first seventy picks. They’re about to obtain their quarterback of the future and they have a guy who, in Fitzpatrick, who is more than capable in playing the role of starter/mentor/playoff QB/Wiseman until either Tua or Burrow takes the reigns. It’s a great time to be a Dolphin’s fan and we don’t need Cam Newton coming in to try and get his groove his back.

So please, Chris Grier, come out and put this rumor to bed and say the Dolphins will never sign Cam Newton, not even if there’s a fire. End this so I can get back to more important things like figuring out which room I’m going to eat lunch in.

Listen guys as always make sure you are following our football twitter page. Also, give myself a follow as well because I am always up for a good Dolphin’s conversation!

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