In a stunning move, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman announced that the small farming town of Letterkenny, ON has won a bid as a hub for the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Letterkenny will host the Eastern Conference side of the Stanley Cup playoff bracket.
“With all these cities pulling out of the bids, we were looking at smaller venues,” said Bettman of the bid. “This plucky little rural town in Eastern Ontario showed us they were worthy of the bid.”
Local Reaction to the Bid
Reaction by residents in the small town of Letterkenny is tempered excitement.
“The town of Letterkenny has been hard at work in trying to get this bid,” said John McMurray, head of the agricultural board. “Ag board has been trying to get the NHL to play a game here for years. I’m glad we don’t have to enter Kraft Hockeyville next year.” (At least that’s what Belly Up Sports thought he said at the time of the interview, though we’re not really sure.)
“I, for one, am pretty excited for the season to restart,” said a local farmer only identified as Wayne. “Pitter-patter!”
‘Wondrous!” exclaimed a local named Stewart, who danced away after his comment.
“He’s really a good guy, that Gary Bettmans, for giving us the playoffs,” said another local farmer identified as Squirrely Dan. “And that’s what I appreciates about him.”
“Oh, is that all you appreciate about him?” replied Wayne’s sister Katy.
Two local senior hockey players, only identifying themselves as Jonesy and Reilly, were the two most excited for the town winning the playoff hub bid.
“We’re gonna see a lot of wheel-snipe-celly, boys!” yelled Jonesy.
“FERDA!!!” yelled Reilly.
“I don’t know what you’re so excited about, you two pylons. You’re never gonna play for any of these teams,” replied another senior player identified as Shoresy. “Give yer balls a tug!”
Media Reaction to the Bid
Media reaction to Letterkenny winning the Stanley Cup Playoff hub varies. TSN’s Bob McKenzie praised the bid while The Athletic’s Pierre LeBrun was not as enthused.
“This is a fantastic move of goodwill by Gary Bettman and the NHL,” said McKenzie. “To have a small rural town in Canada host such a big event is a testament to our national sport. At least they won’t have to beg for that Kraft money next year.”
“Are you kidding me?” cried LeBrun. “This is a tiny rural town near East Bumble, Ontario. How are they going to house that many hockey players? And how many people does that tiny arena in that town hold? A thousand, maybe? They were better off trying to get Hockeyville.”
Canadian hockey legend Don Cherry was unavailable for comment, but we’re positive he’s dressed to the nines in a maple leaf suit giving a thumbs up.
If it’s humor you want, check out my potential replacement names for the Washington Redskins (at least that’s their name is at the time of this writing). Who do you think will win the Stanley Cup bid? Comment below or hit me up on Twitter, @WhoIsRyanMcC. As always, I’ll try to do better next time.
