Space Jam returns to theatres in a brand new adventure.
The sequel to the 1995 classic Space Jam is coming to theatres on July 16th. Space Jam: A New Legacy will see LeBron James team up with Bugs Bunny and the Looney Toon team in a battle against an evil A.I. “Goon Squad”. The movie is sure to add fire to the debate about who is better between LeBron and original star Michael Jordan because now we can compare their filmography as well.
While LeBron was an obvious choice to take up the mantle of a Space Jam film, what if he was unavailable? Here are some of the pitches for Space Jam movies starring other NBA stars.
Kevin Durant
He would join the Monstars. We know this joke is old, but it also rings true. Durant would lead the Toon Squad in a valiant effort, lose the game, and then switch sides and lead the Goon Stars to another title. He would spend his spare time liking tweets about how terrible Tweety Bird is at defense.
Ben Simmons
The Monstars and Toon Squad would be in a tight battle. Simmons would play tight defense on the Monstars, looking like a star in the game. When the fourth quarter comes, Simmons disappears and leaves Yosemite Sam to take the final shot. The Monstars win and Simmons doesn’t shoot in the fourth.
James Harden
The movie starts with Harden as a star for the Toon Squad. Soon he wants off the team and lets himself go to force a trade. People start to question if he’s still got it. Once he’s traded to a Cartoon Network team, he reverts to his old self and drops 40 a night alongside Johnny Bravo.
Kawhi Leonard
Leonard leads the Toon Squad into battle against the Monstars. He speaks only seven lines of dialogue throughout the whole movie. In the end, Leonard is revealed to be another alien from a different planet. He agreed to save Earth because it seemed fun. We get a Kawhi laugh and the screen fades to black.
LaMelo Ball
The entirety of the movie is spoiled by being posted on House of Highlights and ESPN. Lavar Ball gets a cameo and somehow is listed as an executive producer. Liangelo Ball still hasn’t found his way onto the team.
Steph Curry
Curry bounces back from an injury to lead the Toon Squad. He puts up career numbers, draining shots from the logo and getting teammates wide-open looks. Somehow he loses out on the MVP to Foghorn Leghorn.
Evan Gomes is a writer and podcast host. Catch him talking about wrestling history on the Crossbody of Work Podcast, and talk to him on Twitter at @ItsEvanGomes.
